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Earlier this afternoon, WWE had reported that entertainer Jeff Hardy had been found unconscious in a hotel stairwell and rushed to a Boston-area hospital. The story, first announced on WWE.com, suggested we stay tuned to the website for more details. Unfortunately, the last few years of wrestling news have been so sad and hilariously abysmal that many wrestling fans assumed the worst in conjunction with Hardy's history of injuries and drug abuse.

Thankfully, this is one of those times when your "wrestling is fake!" comments are apropos. Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer/Figure Four Online can confirm that the stairwell unconsciousness and hospital-rushage are all part of tonight's Survivor Series pay-per-view. There are also spoilers below, in case you're planning on watching:

Several sources have confirmed this as storyline and that Hardy is expected to be selling the injuries on tonight's Survivor Series show.

There is a lot of speculation this will lead to an Edge vs. Jeff Hardy feud, as Edge will be the culprit. While this feud is not confirmed, there was talk of Edge vs. Hardy at Royal Rumble, and Edge flew from Tampa to Boston last night for the show.

WWE.com has changed their story to the much less scary "Will Hardy Perform?" in reaction to the press, and to make sure the legions of Hardy Boyz fans still order the show. Hopefully they've already filmed a vignette where evil Russian Vladimir Kozlov headbutts Hardy down a flight of steps. For once, the wrestling news isn't so bad. Weird, huh?

Sad news today for anybody who enjoys watching the five most enjoyable minutes of RAW every week; TMZ.com is reporting that WWE wrestler Santino Marella, real name Anthony Carelli, was pulled over by Tampa cops this morning and arrested on suspicion of DUI.

Reports say the police pulled over l'automobile di Santino after witnessing the car drifting back and forth on the road. He had "bloodshot, watery and glassy eyes" and failed two field sobriety tests including one where he couldn't hold his balance. Santino claimed to have only had a few beers (that always works). The whereabouts of tag team partner of Carlito Caribbean Cool are unknown at this time.

An important thing to remember (as Wrestling News World, who first broke the story, astutely points out) is that according to the arrest report, Marella's blood alcohol content wasn't over the legal limit of .08. Santino clocked in at somewhere between .061 and .062. TMZ adds that he took the test almost two hours after being brought in on charges and can still be prosecuted.

Marella was released on $500 bail and the WWE has yet to comment on the situation, which at worst could mean wishing Santino well in his future endeavors and at best could mean a handicap match in this very ring, right here tonight.