Posts by B at FanHouse

With all of the Winter Meetings fanfare and "who will maybe/maybe not go where" conversations on the Internet, the death of former major league pitcher Dock Ellis has pretty much gone under the radar. An All-Star who won 19 games for the World Series champion Pirates in 1971 and boasted a none-too-shabby lifetime ERA of 3.46, Ellis' contributions to baseball should not be forgotten, especially the contribution of pitching a no-hitter under the influence of LSD.

One of the things we get the most positive feedback about in The Dugout is our retrospective pieces about the death of a player. This will be no different, as I have prepared no less than 65 panels of comic introspection about these crazy times we've lived through, and what it truly means to pitch super well because you think the baseball is f***ing talking to you.

This morning's Dugout is In Memoriam, and after the jump.

Look at that guy. How could you not pardon that? Roger Clemens could be seeking a Presidential pardon for his crimes, and his journey toward freedom begins here, with his biggest fans, the writers of The Dugout.

This afternoon's Dugout -- a tasteful, progressive look at the gray areas of white-collar American crime -- is after the jump.

Jose Canseco is a pretty cool guy, right? He did steroids, then wrote a book about how everybody else did steroids, too. He bragged about his boxing prowess and then got trounced in the first round of his Celebrity Boxing exhibition. He's made a post-baseball career out of exploitation and reality shows. And once when I was seven he refused to even look at me when I asked him for an autograph. Blogger remorse!

So with that said, it is with my deepest sincerity that I hope the first question on Canseco's upcoming episode of The Moment of Truth is "Are you a douchebag?" Canseco can answer no and fail right out. Or even funnier, he can answer "yes," THAT answer can be false, and he can go on a journey of self-discovery.

Whatever. Today's Dugout is after the jump.

Warning: The following video and Dugout contain adult language (mostly censored), so read/watch at your own risk.

Sometimes we're contractually obligated to cover a story. bud_is_wiser sends me an IM saying "okay I set it all up for you, just copy and paste it into Blogsmith."

In case you didn't see it earlier,



Being a normal human being who hates the Yankees and the Red Sox I really don't care what happens to their fans, but when I click a YouTube video and see the combined will of Carl and Harriet Winslow grabbing a lady by her hair at Yankee Stadium I go "oh, ha" and here we are. The original plot of tonight's Dugout involved Ted Jones, but srsly lol who cares about todd jones.

Tonight's end of Summer Dugz is after the jump.

It's the question that's been on every sports fan's mind: Quis re-custodiet ipsos custodes?

Okay, it's the question that's been on the mind of every late 1st and early 2nd centuries CE Latin sports fan, and even though it probably had more to do with throwing the discus, we're using it tonight to talk about baseball.

The instant replay initiative memos have been placed onto players' chairs, and that means instant replay is SERIOUS BUSINESS. Will it stop with home run calls? No. Will it stop with close plays in important situations? Of course not. Will it stop when we're TiVo-ing check swings and deeply investigating the use of the pogo stick in Ketchup's nightly victory in the Hot Dog Race? Okay, maybe then it'll stop.

Tonight's Dugout, and tonight's Dugout-within-a-Dugout, are after the jump.

Nothing's ever gonna keep you down.

The story of 9-year old Jericho Scott being banned from his Connecticut little league for being better than the other kids makes me mad about a number of things I can articulate (adults who are supposed to be an example to kids packing up and going home because they're losing, talent being treated as a liability, children being lorded over by crybabies) and a number of things I cannot (graaaaaah).

Hopefully the story of Jericho (no, not that one) will keep spreading until the idiots who did this will truly be held accountable, someone else will be put in charge of the organization, and Scott will be able to pitch as much as he wants wherever he wants.

Seriously, what is [fornicating] wrong with you? Tonight's late-night Dugout is after the jump. For extra fun, click on the picture of that kid who is terrible at baseball (or here) for an off-site article about my childhood baseball experiences.