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College Football Songbook Says Goodbye Phil, Hello Dr. Phil

The College Football Songbook is a weekly feature in which we'll be making as much fun as humanly possible of the most embarrassing moments in college football. Through words, music, and related video we'll leave a lasting memory implanted on the brains of the vanquished that they are not soon to forget. say goodbye to Phil Fulmer

Farewell Phil. We laughed, we cried, we wrote a song to remember you by.



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EDSBS
LSU Freak
The Wiz
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No End Zone Dance for Georgia This Year

Both Georgia and Florida put up half-a-hundred on LSU this year. So we were expecting to see an offensive showcase today. We did, but it was all one sided. Maybe Georgia should have celebrated that field goal in the first quarter, because that was about all they had to show for their efforts in this game until the game was out of reach.

It was a story of two quarterbacks coming into the game, as well as the end zone dance by the Bulldogs last year. But while Tim Tebow accounted for five touchdowns, Matt Stafford was nothing more than a foot note. Tebow broke the record for rushing touchdowns at Florida. He only had to throw the ball 13 times, completing 10 for two touchdowns and 154 yards. Stafford had a decent day throwing the ball, but the three interceptions killed the Bulldog's chances for a victory.

Georgia goes from everyone's pre-season favorite to completely no chance to win the SEC east. While Florida has a clear path to the SEC championship game, and a possible second trip in three years to the national title game.

Pat White Shines as Huskies Key on Devine

Connecticut's defense was keyed early and often on stopping West Virginia running back Noel Devine, and held him to four yards on four carries in the first half. In doing so, they also held the West Virginia offense in check. On the flip side, Donald Brown was ripping off large chunks of yards for the Huskies. But mistakes and dropped balls killed drives for UConn, and forced them to settle for field goals instead of touchdowns in the first half.

West Virginia screamed out to a 28-13 lead in the second half thanks to turnovers by the Huskies. The Mountaineers consistently had a short field to work with, and White hooked up with Jock Sanders through the air and on the ground for three touchdowns.

With the scores mounting for West Virginia, Connecticut was forced to abandon the running game that worked so well in the first half. Quarterback Cody Endres, who was sharp in the first half, fell apart throwing three interceptions. Pat White totaled 230 yards running and passing along with three touchdowns. The win put West Virginia in the drivers seat for the Big East title. But with games against Cincinnati, Pitt, and South Florida ahead, the chase for the title is far from over.

LSU Would Like to Pad Your Offensive Stats

Once a demon of defensive football, LSU has now given up 50+ points in a game for the second time this year. First, giving up 51 to Florida two weeks ago, and now 52 to Georgia in a 52-38 loss.

Georgia rolled up 443 yards of total offense, but were still short of the 50 point mark late in the fourth quarter. But Jarrett Lee was determined, throwing a lazy ball down field that was easily intercepted and run back for a touchdown by Darryl Gamble of Georgia. His second of the day.

LSU actually had more total yards (495) than Georgia, but three interceptions thrown by Jarrett Lee killed any chance of the Tigers winning the game. The good news for LSU is that they only have one team, Alabama, left on the schedule that will have the firepower to put up another 50. Then again, if you throw up the interceptions like Lee, anything is possible.

Mike Teel and LeSean McCoy Were Not What We Were Expecting

Coming into today's game between Pittsburgh and Rutgers, the two teams had only surpassed the 30-point mark three times combined.

The strength of the Rutgers team has been the defense by default, because the offense has almost been nonexistent. Likewise for Pitt, although their offense has been able to run the ball effectively and pass only when needed.

But only once has either defense allowed a 30-point game, when North Carolina put up 44 points on the Scarlet Knights. If anything, this was supposed to be a grind-it-out, defensive game.

However, on a day when offense has been the story around college football, these two teams have been anything but themselves.

Mike Leach Knows Kickers, Offense

Today is the first test for Mike Leach and Texas Tech as they face Kansas. If the first half is any indication, the Red Raiders are up to the challenge. Leading 35-14 at the break, Texas Tech has moved the ball at will and played solid on defense.

One of the secondary stories of this game is that Leach is using a student at kicker today. Texas Tech student Matt Williams kicked a 30-yard field goal earlier this year during a break in the UMass game to win a free months rent. Seeing the kick, Leach had someone flag him down to see if he'd be interested in kicking for the team. Next thing you know, you have a story as odd as The Waterboy. So far today, he's 5-for-5 on extra points. No field goal tries yet. Given the way the first half went, he probably won't get any shots.

Lou Holtz Proposition Bets for the College Football Junkie



Prop Bets for the College Football Junkie is a weekly post that cares not for your silly point spreads. If you have the money and the gumption, we'll lay down a weekly gauntlet of propositions that'll take you from the penthouse to the outhouse faster than you can guess the number of times Lee Corso will say "not so fast my friend." As always, this is for entertainment purposes only.

$ Lou Holtz has put his foot in his mouth each of the last two weeks in the controlled environment of the studio. So what does ESPN do? Not suspend him for saying basically the same thing Jemele Hill said. No, they put him in front of a mic for three hours for the Thursday night game between West Virginia and Auburn. If there was ever a "give him enough rope" move by a broadcasting company, this is it. So naturally, we put the straight up bet to you loyal reader. Will Lou Holtz say something inflammatory? Yes, West Virginia jokes count!

$ Lets go with this. Let's say his does get suspended or fired. I'm not advocating it, because I enjoy him in his natural state or doing the pep talks. But let's face it, ESPN will have to do something if he has another slip up. Here's a multiple choice straight up bet that one of the following will happen if Holtz is fired:

-Mark May's perceived IQ will drop 50 points automatically.

-Trev Alberts will walk back into the Bristol studios with a "show me the money" look on his face.

-Regis Philbin will show interest, but someone will mention that the last guy was a Notre Dame guy.

$ Continuing with the same theme, Holtz won't sit idle for long. NBC would probably love to have him doing commentary on Notre Dame games. So we put the over/under on the number of times NBC will ask him to tone down the homerism in the first month at 10.

Boosters Busted by Financial Crisis

First, college football programs felt the bite of increased travel expenses due to soaring fuel costs. Now, many are feeling the effects of the current financial crisis due to promised donations that can't be kept by boosters. I won't play this out like it's a tragedy, because let's face it, college football isn't life or death. We play it out that way sometimes when everything else in our lives is stable. We mourn the loss of our proud program to some directional state university that ruined our season because we generally live life without too much to fear. But unlike real tragic situations, the sun comes up the next day and we go about life as usual.

Still, many programs are having to scale back or even halt projects funded by donations due to current events. That's the case with Oklahoma State and T. Boone Pickens.
Nearly three years ago, the billionaire oilman T. Boone Pickens donated $165 million to Oklahoma State's athletic department so it could remake its facilities into a Shangri-La for Cowboys sports, complete with an indoor practice center and new facilities for baseball, equestrian, soccer, tennis, and track and field...Now, building on Oklahoma State's athletic village has been held up, and the athletic director, Mike Holder, said the project would have to wait until Pickens's financial situation improved.
Certainly not on the same scale as Pickens and the Cowboys, but the same is true for a lot of the major college football programs around the country.

YouTubesDay: Smoke 1, Cyclones 0

As more and more sports entertainment creeps into college football entrances, something like this was bound to happen sooner or later. Watch at about the 10 second mark as an Iowa State player runs into the goal post, blinded by the thick smoke. Someone was probably hoping that the smoke would also mask the incident from the cameras. But it didn't. Not even close.



Hat Tip: The Wiz

College Football Songbook Thinks ACC Football Is BS

The College Football Songbook is a weekly feature in which we'll be making as much fun as humanly possible of the most embarrassing moments in college football. Through words, music, and related video we'll leave a lasting memory implanted on the brains of the vanquished that they are not soon to forget.

All three ranked ACC teams were upset and knocked out of the top 25. It seemed more fun than a song about BYU...



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Amazon.com
Nick Anderson
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