June was quite a month. On the field, Randy Johnson earned his 300th win, and the Rockies caught fire after promoting Jim Tracy to manager. Off the field, Donald Fehr stepped down as executive director of the Player's Association, the Nationals drafted super-prospect Stephen Strasburg, and it was learned that everyone in the entire universe has been using steroids.
Jason Bay will soon be an American citizen. He aced his U.S. Citizenship exam, and as soon as he learns the secret American handshake and receives his key to the workout room, it will be a done deal.
Jeff Bennett is notable for two reasons. First off, he's the unfortunate subject of the most unflattering photograph ever taken (see image right). Second, on Wednesday, he sucker-punched a dugout wall, broke his left fifth metacarpal, and returned to the mound to pitch another full inning.
Sunday's Dugout concerned the possibility of Roger Clemens writing a book. Well, The Dugout is going to further explore this possibility. If Clemens does decide to put a book together, whether it concerns Brian McNamee or not, what will it look like? How will it read?
Apparently inspired by the runaway success of Jose Canseco's Juiced and the runaway existence of Selena Roberts' A-Rod, Roger Clemens is thinking about slapping his artisan hands against a typewriter and pounding out a book. He wants to write about his relationship with Brian McNamee, but as Matt Snyder asks, how on Earth can he fill a book with that story? Snyder estimates that the book, if written, will be 15 pages long. I'm guessing that it will stretch for a full 200 pages, but only if it's a flipbook depicting Clemens throwing a pie in McNamee's face.
Does Jose Canseco refuse to leave the spotlight, or does the spotlight refuse to leave him? No matter the case, the two are married to one another. Since his days as a household name, he's managed to find a dozen different means of attracting attention. He was hit on the head by a fly ball. He attempted to pitch and threw out his arm. He wrote a bestseller, the impact of which has rivaled that of his playing career. He's appeared on reality television, he's launched a mixed martial arts career, and now he's suing Major League Baseball. The spotlight will not leave him, and he will not leave the spotlight.
Bryce Harper is sixteen years old. Bryce Harper can hit a baseball so far that you would not believe how far he can hit a baseball.
Lackey's piece on Major League Baseball's blackout policy makes it even more difficult to understand the league's logic. I'm not sure exactly how the powers that be determined which areas should and should not be blacked out from a given broadcast, but I have a theory. Every time you attempt to watch a game, all the MLB executives gather together in a sequestered conclave. They take a vote amongst themselves and burn the ballot cards in a furnace. If white smoke plumes out of the smokestack outside, you can watch the game. If black smoke comes out, you are out of luck.
In case you've been living under a rock for the past 17.2 innings, Dontrelle Willis is back. That frenetic, majestic delivery of his, which you see to the right, was a piece of Major League Baseball canon when he pitched for the Marlins. It was as Bob Gibson as one can get in this decade.
