Posts by Will Brinson at FanHouse

Well, five weeks in and I finally land my first push. Which is good news (and a little bizarre) I guess, since I still went 5-7-1 for the week. Which brings my astounding season total to 31-41-1. On the bright side, my Tungsten picks are 7-3, so if you've been placing your money ... actually scratch that. If you're wagering on my picks, you're a bigger loser than me.

But, I have been known to occasionally get warm. Streaky business this handicapping. Let's rock.

Oakland Raiders @ New Orleans Saints (-7)
You would think that the Saints could come off Monday night's debacle and piece together a decent game against the frigging Raiders. And I don't want Mantz accusing me of jinxing the Saints this week. Or did I just do that? Crap.

Saints -7

Baltimore Ravens @ Indianapolis Colts (-4)
Peyton Manning is like the Phil Mickelson of football and that should be self explanatory. (Loser turned winner goofball type.) Sage Rosenfels is still working on that transition so maybe Peyton doesn't deserve all the credit. Still, I'm not generally inclined to bet on Joe Flacco over anyone named Manning.

Colts -4

Cincinnati Bengals @ New York Jets (-6)
Doesn't this feel like a trap game? Cincy's horrible but they've at least been close in a few recent games. Jets favored by less than a touchdown, people teasing Brett Favre all over the place (No, not the "Nice painkiller addiction, wuss!!" type of teasing, you jackass.) And then BAM. Ryan Fitzpatrick gets all up in your bidness.

Bengals +6

Sweet Lord, Al Davis. We love you. Well, maybe not "we", but I totally back your "control freak in a leisure suit" thing, man. If I was nine billion years old and worth slightly more money than years alive, I would absolutely run a football team. You've got a better deal than Joe Paterno with a few less questions about your sanity because you don't actually call the plays.

However, here's an idea: when a player burns you by not trying hard enough simply because your franchise sucks, well, don't claim he faulted you when he shatters a world record with Tom Brady throwing him the rock the next year. Ah, yes, I see. Just like most of America, you would prefer "rationality" to "I'm going to sue your pants off". No, that's fine. Really.

Davis said the Patriots had tampered with Randy Moss before a deal in April 2007 that brought the wide receiver to New England for a fourth-round choice the weekend of the NFL draft. Patriots coach Bill Belichick denied the claim by Davis that New England had a workout with Moss before obtaining him in the trade.

In a June 5, 2008, memo distributed by Goodell to NFL clubs entitled "Policy on Integrity of the Game and Enforcement of Competitive Rules," the commissioner informed NFL team officials that competitive rules violations must be made in a timely manner. Davis' accusations against the Patriots came 18 months after the transaction occurred.

(Quick caveat/aside: this report is from Scoop (he really would prefer you call him that) so we have zero idea if it has any reliability, but assuming it is true, well, Al Davis needs to retire. Or stop making insanely ridiculous accusations just because he's teed off.

I have a lot of family from Jacksonville, Florida (and consequently lots of Jaguar fans) and therefore am usually pretty defensive when people start dogging on the city and its residents.

But lately, I have to admit that the Jaguars fans are not doing a whole heck of a lot to make me feel good about defending them. First there was the whole "smash the guard in the head with a folding chair" thing. And now, a random fight caused what sounds like a huge thing made of glass fall on three women at the game.

Downey said that, because of privacy laws, he doesn't have the names of the injured or whether they're still hospitalized.

One woman's injuries were apparently more serious than the other two.

Downey said he didn't think the men who got into the fight and caused the incident were apprehended.

Downey said the glass panels will be checked to see if they can be made more secure with brackets.

The panels are glass, so they don't interfere with the sightlines of the fans in that section.

Downey is the head of SMG, a private company that manages the Stadium, and I have to ask, sir, "what is your crew doing?" Because right now, there are a lot of Jaguar fans getting really drunk -- I would assume -- and doing really stupid things.

The Chargers were battling this earlier in the season, and while I thought it was a little ridiculous at the time, I'm gonna be honest and say that Jacksonville and the Jaguars as an organization needs to do something relatively drastic to make people stop getting hammered and injuring other patrons.

O.J. Simpson has made lots of mistakes in his life ... some allegedly and some actually quantifiable within a court of law. The latest "real" mistake though, is just an example of Juice messing with the karma that has been so kind to him (lost Heisman trophies or no, he still got off on the Brown - Goldman thing).

That's because, while heading towards the conclusion of his Las Vegas armed robbery trial, O.J. planned an acquittal party. I wish I was joking.

Simpson associate Thomas Riccio, after an in-studio interview Friday with radio talk-show host Anthony Crivello and retired Las Vegas police detective Phil Ramos, invited them to join O.J.'s entourage at an undisclosed location.

"That's how certain he was," Crivello said during an interview on Saturday, a day after Simpson and co-defendant Clarence "C.J." Stewart were found guilty on all counts, including armed robbery and kidnapping with a deadly weapon.

"He's been predicting a hung jury," said Ramos, who attended the trial and provided expert commentary on Crivello's show, "The Sicilians" on Fox Sports Radio KBAD-AM, 920.

Maybe that prediction just stemmed from prior experience? Who knows.

Tony Gonzalez, with a first quarter reception against the Carolina Panthers, passed Shannon Sharpe for all time career yardage by a tight end. Sharpe retired with 10,060 yards, and Gonzalez just jumped him with his first catch of the day.

This is important because now Gonzo is the all time leader for yardage, receptions and touchdown receptions by a tight end. He is arguably the greatest tight end of all time, and his success really defined the change in the position that we've seen over the past few years, that has led to guys like Antonio Gates and Jason Witten emerge.

Of course, it also led to the Niners burning a first round draft pick on Vernon Davis, but hey, they can't all be winners. Additionally, it's nice to see a loyal guy like Gonzo find some form of success while being forced to suffer on this 2008 Kansas City team.

Matt Schaub is sick. Sick and tired of losing. Oh, and he's literally sick -- and it's bad enough that he was sent to the hospital on Saturday night.

So, yeah, in a huge divisional matchup and the team's first return to Houston since Ike hit, things are going to be a little thin at quarterback.

Schaub fell ill Saturday night, but is active as the second quarterback for this afternoon's game. Tight end Owen Daniels is the Texans' emergency quarterback.

In five starts with the Texans in 2007, Rosenfels was 4-1. He played in 10 total games and finished with a career-high 1,684 passing yards and 15 touchdowns.

Yeah, so things aren't that bad for the Texans, but we don't really know how bad they are for Schaub just yet. Hopefully he'll be fine, but until we hear more, we just have to assume that he's doing alright under medical watch.

Sage Rosenfels will start in his place and Lord have mercy on the Texans if Daniels has to take snaps.

Fantasy Spin: Obviously bench Schaub immediately, and consider grabbing Rosenfels -- he doesn't seem like a particularly attractive option but if you're facing Kyle Orton or someone of that lower end nature and he's there, well, the Colts defense isn't that stout and he does have Andre Johnson and Kevin Walter.

I'm going to bypass any jokes about the Cubs -- it just doesn't seem necessary to rub in the Dodgers' sweep in a fantasy football post. So, no baseball talk, no "I told you so!" type of things ... just some good, old-fashioned fantasy football chat.

So, at 10:30 this morning, if free and awesome fantasy football advice is something you might be interested in, then stop by for the Tailgate. Chat is after the jump. (Latest Player Notes and More Updates Here.)

There's a large, gaping hole of symbolism between a fun-to-report total rumor and a legitimately important celebrity relationship story. And that hole can be filled when two people as famous as Alex Rodriguez and Madonna are seen eating dinner together. (Or when Madonna allegedly "brainwashes" A-Rod, but that's beside the point.)

Which is what the New York Post is reporting, via the always fun "sources."

REPS for Madonna and Alex Rodriguez deny the two dined together at Dos Caminos on Third Avenue the other night. But sources insist the Yankee star broke bread with Madge and two male friends. "Madonna entered through the front door half an hour after A-Rod arrived and had her security guards check the exits before she sat down at a quiet corner table," said one source. Madonna had the men laughing with her stories. When the meal was over, they left by separate exits.

I don't feel "good" about reporting this -- clearly it has nothing to do with the actual playoffs going on. However, A-Rod and Madonna are two enormously famous celebrities in their respective corners of the world, so it's going to be news to lots of people when they come together.

Perhaps neither one is really that great in terms of legitimate non-pop culture likability (I can only imagine the fake-accent-spewing children they would crank out), but they are both immensely talented and popular. So if they start dating, I'm gonna tell you about it. (Oh yeah, it might be important to note that their reps are totally denying all of this.)

Also, how awful would C-Rod feel if Alex took the Yankees to a title the year after they locked up that divorce? I think it would be fairly awkward.

There's still a lot of series left. So I'm not gonna do anything stupid and jinx my Dodgers bet by pointing out that the Cubs straits are more dire than a, well, there's no need for Mark Knopfler jokes here. In fact there isn't a need for any jokes -- this is a serious situation for Cubs fans, and gosh darnit, they are going to find someone to blame.

Before it was Bartman and a goat. Now, it's a preacher. So, yeah, this should end well for everyone.

But when a TBS cameraman saw Rev. Father James L. Greanias spreading holy water in the Cubs dugout several hours before Game 1 of the Division Series on Wednesday, the priest from St. Iakovos Greek Orthodox Church in Valparaiso, Ind. knew the cat was out of the bag.

[...]"Now I guess I'm just another Cubbie Occurrence," he said.

The spreading of the holy water took about 10 minutes, as Greanis went up and down the dugout, getting it in every nook and cranny. The remaining holy water was poured out onto the field near the dugout steps where the players run out to their positions.

"It's not unusual," Greanis said. "In Greece, the priest blesses soccer teams, and they did it in the Olympics, too. It was not intended to be a p.r. stunt or anything."

That's fantastic. It's a much better story when it's not a publicity stunt. And the story becomes best (like a black bear) when the Cubs subsequently lose ... like now. Actually, I take that back -- I don't ever like to see anyone injured and I'm a little afraid of what the outcome will if/when the Cubbies lose the series and Father Greanias finds himself in the middle of an angry blue mob.

Road Chalk and Alaskan Pipelines is Will Brinson's weekly NFL gambling column at FanHouse. Because everyone loves a loser.

You know the drill by now, right? I make jokes about my current season's record (26-34 UGH) and then I make the picks. The good news is that my Tungsten locks (as denoted by **Team name**) are 6-2 on the season. Making me like a real life Brandon Lang or something.

Indianapolis Colts (-3) @ Houston Texans
This is exactly the type of game where I would, in the normal course of stupidity, always take the Colts. How-EVA, it seems like a trap. The Texans can't be this bad, right? And the Colts are without Bob Sanders. I expect lots of points, a Steve Slaton blowup and Andre Johnson to correct his miserable 2008 by scoring four touchdowns. Of course, I also expect to leave work at 4 p.m. today. And somehow, I don't think that's happening.

Texans +3

Tennessee Titans (-3) @ Baltimore Ravens
I get that people think this team is really good (some people, like Bill Simmons, are talking Super Bowl), and they are. But I have a few rules in life (very few, in fact) and one of them is that when you get Kerry Collins going against a rejuvenated Ray Lewis on the road and handing out three points, you take those points. No, this rule does not come into play frequently, thank you for asking. Also: the under, please.

Ravens +3