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7 Birthday Wishes to Improve Sports

Posted: Jun 3rd 2009 12:00PM ET by Clay Travis (RSS feed)
Filed under: Arena Football, College Sports

I turned 30 last month. It was a sobering experience. Made all the more so because of how far I've fallen down the totem pole of birthday presents. When I was a kid, I got spectacular birthday presents that I played with for hours. Be it a G.I. Joe Hovercraft or Mike Tyson's Punchout!!, a birthday present offered tangible evidence that this year held all sorts of unique excitements yet to come.

This year I got a lawn mower. Seriously, a lawn mower.

The other day, as I was in the midst of seeding an empty lot next door to my house so I'd have more grass to mow in the future, I decided that turning 30 brought with it all sorts of wisdom. Particularly as it pertains to sports. In fact, I decided that instead of receiving a lawn mower, I should have been given the right to remake all the sports that I watch through subtle rule tweaks. Clearly this makes perfect sense. In fact, if you're anything like me you've probably found yourself sitting around ruminating about how you could perfect sports as well. Here are my seven changes.

Former Broncos First-Round Pick Marcus Nash Suffers Broken Neck in Arena Football

Posted: Jul 4th 2008 10:23AM ET by Michael David Smith (RSS feed)
Filed under: Broncos, NFL Draft, Denver, Arena Football

1 COMMENT

Marcus Nash was the Denver Broncos' first-round draft pick out of Tennessee in 1998, and while Nash was productive in college, the Broncos quickly learned that his college quarterback, Peyton Manning, could make any receiver look good. Nash was a bust in the NFL.

But he has caught on in Arena Football, where 2008 was his fifth consecutive 1,000-yard season.

Unfortunately, it will also apparently be his last. The Dallas Morning News reports that Nash, playing for the Dallas Desperados, underwent surgery this week to repair a broken neck suffered in last week's playoff loss to New York. According to the paper, Desperados coach Will McClay said the injury could end Nash's career.
Nash finished his NFL career with four catches. He was Arena Football's offensive player of the year in 2004.

Via PFT.

Jon Bon Jovi Loses Money on Arena Football, and He's Fine With That

Posted: May 18th 2008 9:59PM ET by Michael David Smith (RSS feed)
Filed under: Philadelphia, Arena Football

0 COMMENTS

Jon Bon Jovi was the subject of a 60 Minutes profile today, and the subject of his ownership of the Philadelphia Soul of Arena Football came up:

Steve Croft asked Bon Jovi if he makes money on Arena Football, and Bon Jovi acted like his answer, "No," should have been obvious. He then added, "But we're not losing a lot of money either."

Bon Jovi says he hopes to own part of an NFL franchise some day, and he explained that his involvement in sports isn't about making money. He's doing just fine in music, and he says sports aren't a particularly wise investment, but he sees owning a sports team as an opportunity to get involved in his community.

I think that's basically what keeps Arena Football afloat: Owners who have a lot of money, want something to do, and think owning a sports team would be fun. Nothing wrong with that.

Arena Football's Elton Patterson Jumps Up and Down, Gets a Bill Gramatica-Style Injury

Posted: Apr 7th 2008 6:33AM ET by Michael David Smith (RSS feed)
Filed under: AZ Cardinals, Arena Football

0 COMMENTS

Fan IQ provides this video of Orlando Predators defensive lineman Elton Patterson, and it's a video that will bring back bad memories for Arizona Cardinals fans:

Patterson suffered a torn quadriceps jumping up and down before the game started, apparently thinking said jumping would get the fans pumped up for the game. Instead, the start of the game was delayed while medical personnel attended to Patterson, who was carted off the field with a season-ending torn quadriceps.

The injury was reminiscent of the torn ACL suffered by Cardinals kicker Bill Gramatica in 2001. Gramatica jumped to celebrate a field goal, came down awkwardly and was carried off the field with a season-ending injury.

Former Patriot Kenyatta Jones Arrested, 'He Attempted to Urinate on the Dance Floor'

Posted: Mar 31st 2008 12:11PM ET by Michael David Smith (RSS feed)
Filed under: Patriots, Boston, Arena Football

198 COMMENTS

Former New England Patriots offensive lineman Kenyatta Jones, who is now an Arena Football player, was arrested early Monday morning and charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, obstruction and trespassing, the St. Petersburg Times reports (via SBB). And what exactly did Jones do?

Tampa police spokeswoman Janelle McGregor answers: "Jones was standing on the dance floor at the Blue Martini nightclub when he attempted to urinate on the dance floor."

Um, OK. Not sure exactly where to go with that, but this is not the first time Jones has had legal trouble. In 2003 he was arrested for dumping hot water on his roommate while his roommate sat on the toilet; the roommate received second- and third-degree burns and Jones pleaded no contest to one count of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. He was also arrested and charged with possession of a concealed firearm and resisting arrest without violence when he was in college. Seems like a charming guy. Sorry, No Photos

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Miami Dolphins Wide Receiver Derek Hagan, left, and his girlfriend Tiffany Leblanc watch Serena Williams win her match against Flavia Pennetta in the Sony Ericsson Open tennis tournament in Key Biscayne, Fla., Sunday, March 30, 2008. (AP Photo/Sony Ericsson Open/IMG)

AP
Former Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett, center, speaks to Dr. Barth Green, left, during a visit to The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis that is credited with helping him recover from a life-threatening spinal cord injury Friday March 28, 2008 in Miami. To the right of Everett is Marc Buoniconti who suffered a severe spinal cord injury while making a tackle while playing football for The Citadel in 1985. The program is based at the medical school at the University of Miami, Everett's alma mater. Doctors initially feared Everett would never walk again after he injured his spinal cord while making a tackle on Sept. 9. A Bills doctor placed Everett into moderate hypothermia as he was carted into an ambulance. The doctor had learned of the experimental method to limit swelling and inflammation at a Miami Project seminar. (AP Photo/David Adame)

AP
Former Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett, left, listens to Dr. Barth Green speak during a visit to The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis that is credited with helping Everett recover from a life-threatening spinal cord injury Friday, March 28, 2008 in Miami. The program is based at the medical school at the University of Miami, Everett's alma mater. Doctors initially feared Everett would never walk again after he injured his spinal cord while making a tackle in a football game on Sept. 9, 2007. A Bills doctor placed Everett into moderate hypothermia as he was carted into an ambulance. The doctor had learned of the experimental method to limit swelling and inflammation at a Miami Project seminar. (AP Photo/David Adame)

AP
Former Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett, center, tours The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis that is credited with helping him recover from a life-threatening spinal cord injury Friday March 28, 2008 in Miami. The program is based at the medical school at the University of Miami, Everett's alma mater. Doctors initially feared Everett would never walk again after he injured his spinal cord while making a tackle in a football game, on Sept. 9, 2007. A Bills doctor placed Everett into moderate hypothermia as he was carted into an ambulance. The doctor had learned of the experimental method to limit swelling and inflammation at a Miami Project seminar. (AP Photo/David Adame)

AP
Former Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett speaks during a visit to The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis that is credited with helping him recover from a life-threatening spinal cord injury Friday March 28, 2008 in Miami. The program is based at the medical school at the University of Miami, Everett's alma mater. Doctors initially feared Everett would never walk again after he injured his spinal cord while making a tackle on Sept. 9. A Bills doctor placed Everett into moderate hypothermia as he was carted into an ambulance. The doctor had learned of the experimental method to limit swelling and inflammation at a Miami Project seminar. (AP Photo/David Adame)

AP
** FILE ** In this Sept. 23, 2007, file photo, Denver Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall heads down the field after pulling in a pass against the Jacksonville Jaguars in the second quarter of the Jaguars' 24-13 victory in a football game in Denver. Marshall, who suffered severe injuries to an arm when he fell through a television set while horsing around with his brother, insists that he is a good guy who just needs to grow up. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski, file)

AP
** FILE ** Tennessee Titans guard Benji Olson (75) celebrates a touchdown against the Jacksonville Jaguars with teammate Eddie George, right, in a NFL football game in this Oct. 13, 2002 file photo in Nashville, Tenn. Olson announced his retirement Thursday, March 27, 2008 having lasted 10 years with only three interior linemen playing more games than Olson in that stretch. (AP Photo/John Russell, File)

AP
** FILE ** Heath Benedict, from Newberry College in South Carolina, runs a drill at the NFL Combine in Indianapolis, in this Feb. 23, 2008 file photo. Benedict, a two-time Little All-American offensive lineman, was found dead on a couch in his home in Jacksonville, Fla., Wednesday March 26, 2008. Benedict was a native of the Netherlands. (AP Photo/Michael Conroy)

AP
Seattle Seahawks' Tim Ruskell, left, president of football operations/general manager, looks on as cornerback Marcus Trufant talks about planning for his upcoming wedding at the news conference announcing his six-year, $50.2 million NFL contract on Wednesday, March 26, 2008, in Kirkland, Wash. (AP Photo/Kevin P. Casey)

AP
Seattle Seahawks' cornerback Marcus Trufant smiles at the press conference announcing his $50.2 million, six-year contract with the football team, on Wednesday, March 26, 2008, in Kirkland, Wash. (AP Photo/Kevin P. Casey)

AP

I Have Chad Johnson's Newest TD Celebration

Posted: Nov 20th 2007 11:56AM ET by Sportz Assassin (RSS feed)
Filed under: Bengals, AFC North, Cincinnati, Arena Football

1 COMMENT

If Chad Johnson ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever finds the endzone again ... he'll probably end up doing this. Here is video of an Arena Football League game where dude scores, spikes the ball and hits the official right in his bean-bag.

Imagine the wave of emotions here. The official ... just doing his job ... has one of those yellow AFL footballs pound him in his neutral zone. Also, the player went from big TD grab to angry spike to caring for the official to worried that he hurt him ... to laughing about it on the sidelines afterwards. Ya just know he did!

And big ups to the ref for getting up ... taking a deeeeeeeeeep breath ... and finishing the game.

Hat tip to Mo Egger via BarStoolSports.com.

Random YouTube Magic: Damian Harrell Has the Best Hands John Elway's Ever Seen

Posted: Oct 23rd 2007 11:16PM ET by Ryan Wilson (RSS feed)
Filed under: NFL Fans, Arena Football

0 COMMENTS

I was skeptical when I heard John Elway say that Damian Harrell "had the best hands he'd ever seen in a receiver," but after watching some of these catches ... I wouldn't say the best hands, but he's up there.

This clip is from the 2006 Arena League season, and Harrell would end the year with his second consecutive Offensive Player of the Year award. Which, of course, begs the question: why isn't the former Florida State star in the NFL? For one, he suffered a knee injury in college. Two, apparently, he's been tagged as too slow, and unable to be press coverage.

I have no idea if that's true, but when scouts get an idea in their heads, they're sometimes slow to let go of it. Meanwhile, Harrell continues to dominate the AFL -- in 2007, he finished with 132 receptions, for 1,547 yards, and 47 touchdowns, and in five seasons with the Colorado Crush, he has 229 receiving touchdowns.

Quincy Carter Arrested

Posted: Oct 12th 2007 6:12PM ET by Michael David Smith (RSS feed)
Filed under: Cowboys, NFL Police Blotter, Arena Football

3 COMMENTS

Former Dallas Cowboys quarterback Quincy Carter, whose inability to stop smoking pot cost him his NFL career, may now have lost his Arena Football career for the same reason.

Carter, whose last job was with the Bossier-Shreveport Battlewings of Arena Football 2, was arrested in Shreveport early this morning on a marijuana possession charge. Today the Battlewings issued a statement about Carter's arrest:

BattleWings' owner Dan Newman stated, "I am saddened at the report of Quincy's arrest. Our organization carefully created an environment during the 2007 season to give Quincy every opportunity to succeed -- not just on the field, but off the field. Because of his NFL past and the stories surrounding his leaving the NFL, we felt like he deserved the chance like we all do to live through our mistakes and bad choices and try again." Newman continued, "There are a lot of people in the Shreveport-Bossier Community who opened their arms to Quincy Carter and gave him that opportunity. And I am eternally grateful for that. My prayers are with him as he deals with what occurs and wish him only the best."

It sounds like the Battlewings have no plans to bring Carter back, which means the football career of a man who was once the quarterback of the future for America's Team has likely come to an end.

Fan's Request to Arena Football Linebacker Leroy Thompson: 'Sign My Breasts'

Posted: Jul 23rd 2007 8:11AM ET by Michael David Smith (RSS feed)
Filed under: Columbus, Arena Football

0 COMMENTS

This is Leroy Thompson. He's a linebacker for the Columbus Destroyers of the Arena Football League. He will play in ArenaBowl XXI this weekend. But that's not why I mention him today.

No, I mention him today because he is one of the subjects of the Pop Culture Grid in this week's Sports Illustrated, a weekly feature in which SI asks four athletes a series of off-the-wall questions. And this is his answer when he's asked to name the weirdest thing a fan ever said to him:

Sign my breasts

Wow. It's surprising that Arena Football players have to deal with autograph hounds. And it's surprising that Arena Football players have groupies. But it's really surprising that sometimes the two are combined.

Deep Thoughts on the AAFL

Posted: Jul 10th 2007 2:34PM ET by Brian Grummell (RSS feed)
Filed under: NFL Fans, NCAA FB Fans, Arena Football

5 COMMENTS

So there's this football league ...

Where have we heard that one before? Many a failed enterprise began with those dangerous words. Those visionaries and entrepreneurs all meant well, but inevitably failed. So what is to make this AAFL thing different and relevant?

Beats me.

Not that I'm biased, but I love college football. And I love people being nice to me. This AAFL thing, its model is loosely based on college football and its local appeal. Argh. Its organizers: well, they send sometimes friendly, sometimes demanding emails asking us bloggers and writers to hype up their league. Requests = good. Demands = not so good. Can you see my grumpy face? Probably not, but it's there.

Can the league succeed? I have no clue, but only three professional football leagues have made it to the present: the NFL, the Canadian Football League, and Arena Football. What I notice is one monster league and two self-contained variants. What makes the Canadian Football League and Arena football successful may just be their willingness to be different from the NFL.

The CFL employs ginormous fields and slightly different rules. It's a more wide-open game. Arena Football plays indoors in way-too-cozy arenas because of its smaller field. The lesson from their survival where others failed is to be different.

It also helps to have some stars. The CFL is famous for playing big-name American players like Doug Flutie and Rocket Ismail and Ricky Williams. The AAFL needs to find itself some stars and no, former Florida Gator Travis McGriff doesn't count. One lucky break is that the NFL recently dismantled its famous export: NFL Europa. There's a lot more freely available talent today than just a few months back, so maybe the AAFL gets lucky here with some seasoned players who aren't just retreads from the last failed domestic football league: the XFL.

Ultimately, I hunch the AAFL's road to success won't be paved with Trojans but rather a willingness to embrace a new way of playing football. If they don't ... well we know how that story goes.