FanHouse Kansas City

It was a night of knockout soccer that saw three games go to extra time, two games go to penalty kicks, and one famous Mexican lose his temper and get sent off. By the time the smoke cleared, the glass slipper still fit for two USL First Division clubs, who had advanced to the U.S. Open Cup semifinals.

Why isn't this competition on TV again?

The Charleston Battery obliterated FC Dallas, 3-1, at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco, TX, scoring before an after an hour-long lightning delay in the first half and shutting down all but one meaningless strike in the 93rd minute. Meanwhile, the Seattle Sounders fought the Kansas City Wizards to a 0-0 draw and advanced 6-5 on penalties, thanks in part to a 12-save performance by Sounders goalkeeper Chris Eylander, who also saved two PKs to help Seattle advance.

Meanwhile, USL Second Division club Crystal Palace Baltimore pushed the defending Open Cup champion New England Revolution to penalties, but lost the shootout, 5-3. In Boyds, MD, Cuauhtémoc Blanco and Mark Burch were shown red cards in extra time, while Bryan Namoff scored the winner in the 99th minute to push D.C. United past the Chicago Fire, 2-1.

D.C. United and the Chicago Fire meet tonight in the U.S. Open Cup quarterfinals, one month after their testy match in Toyota Park in which three red cards were given and Luciano Emilio got a surprise goal in stoppage time to lift 9-man D.C. to a 2-1 win.

If you want to watch this rematch, though, you'll have to go to the Maryland SoccerPlex in Boyds and buy a ticket. By all accounts, this match will not air on TV or online. Neither will tonight's New England Revolution v. Crystal Palace Baltimore match, providing further proof that the U.S. Open Cup -- a competition in which the winner receives a spot in the CONCACAF Champions League, no less -- is truly the most disrespected competition in American soccer.

The other two quarterfinal matches at least have online video feeds. FC Dallas v. Charleston Battery will be shown on MLSLive at 8:30 PM ET, while Seattle fans log on to USLLive get a free glimpse of their future MLS club's home when the USL-1 Seattle Sounders face the Kansas City Wizards at Qwest Field at 10:00 PM ET. Let's hope the groundskeepers actually try to cover up the gridiron lines this year.

Kansas City Chiefs tight end Tony Gonzalez has impressive career stats: 820 catches, 9,882 yards, 66 touchdowns. And now, one saved life.

Gonzalez was having dinner in a restaurant in Huntington Beach, California, last week when a man named Ken Hunter started choking. Hunter tells the Associated Press what happened from there:

"Tony saved my life. There's no doubt,"...

"I tried to take a drink of water, but I couldn't swallow. Then I couldn't breathe. That's a terrible feeling. I couldn't breathe. Then I guess I started to panic."

Gonzalez jumped up, grabbed Hunter and performed the Heimlich maneuver. "After just a few seconds, the piece of meat popped out," Hunter said.

Former Kansas City Chiefs defensive lineman and Fox TV announcer Bill Maas gave two lengthy interviews to the Kansas City Star in which he discussed the drug and legal problems that ended his broadcasting career, and the most interesting revelation is that concussions suffered playing football have left him permanently brain damaged:

The frontal lobe of his brain is damaged. Doctors say it's a direct result of his NFL career and has caused him depression, minor speech problems and extreme loss of short-term memory.

It's one of the conditions that drove him online, buying hydrocodone and other painkillers from pharmacies he knew probably weren't legitimate. He says his drug use began when his broadcasting career went downhill; a source says it was the other way around.

Maas doesn't come across like a guy who wants to blame the NFL for his personal problems, but he does sound like a guy who wants to get back into the game he loves.

Are all of these major league ballplayers going crazy from the heat or something? First Shawn Chacon goes nuts on Ed Wade, then Manny Ramirez shoves a traveling secretary to the ground. Now, some seemingly innocuous complaining had the potential to turn into another full scale brawl on Saturday night. In the blue corner: Jose Guillen. In the other blue corner: Royals pitching coach Bob McClure.

Guillen was sitting at a table by his locker when he toppled over a chair and made a comment in Spanish. After a teammate attempted to calm him down, Guillen appeared to get more agitated, tossed over another chair and said, "Coaches don't need to be all up in our ... business."

McClure, who was sitting at his locker, turned around and said, "Jose, if you're talking about me, then you need to shut ... up." Guillen then knocked over another chair, yelled at McClure and confronted the coach.

Guillen told McClure he wasn't talking about him and wasn't being disrespectful toward the coach. Guillen added he didn't appreciate McClure telling him to be quiet.

No punches were thrown, so it turns out to be like one of those married couple fights where you start arguing over something dumb like leaving the stove on, and then you get separated and then you work things out and you wonder what the heck you were fighting about in the first place. I guess people will invent things to fight about when their ballclub is ten games under .500, and when one of those people is Jose Guillen ... generally not the calmest person in the world (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Every time the Kansas City Chiefs announce that they're retiring a jersey number -- as they did recently with former cornerback Emmitt Thomas -- it raises the same question: Why haven't they retired the number of Joe Delaney?

Twenty-five years ago, Delaney was a 24-year-old running back who had led the team in rushing in both of his pro seasons. But on June 29, 1983, he drowned while trying to rescue three boys who were stuck in a pond. His No. 37 jersey has not been worn since, but it also hasn't been retired.

Why not? The Kansas City Star explains:

"The criteria for retiring jerseys was established by Lamar Hunt," said Chiefs associate director of media relations Pete Moris. "And that's the criteria we use.

"Basically, if a Chiefs player gets into the Pro Football Hall of Fame and the basis of that election was based on his career with the Chiefs, his number will be retired."

OK, but why not make an exception to Lamar Hunt's rule, just this once? The Chiefs have already taken No. 37 out of circulation. Why not make it official, and create a lasting tribute to Delaney's greatness, on and off the field?

A few days ago, our Baseball is Boring Buddy Tom Fornelli (Dugout SN: StLunaticsRapFornelli) reported on Alberto Callaspo's collapse-o in Kansas City. It turns out he was busted for DUI and put on the disabled list for "evaluation and treatment of an undisclosed medical condition," the Major League Baseball equivalent of Hollywood's "severe exhaustion," which basically just means that he's an adult acting like a stupid idiot and is an eff-up. The worst thing is that it happens as the Royals climb out of the cellar for the first time since... well God, are any of us old enough to remember that?

What we bring you today is the police report of the DUI bust, which, as you may have guessed, did not go as planned. It didn't involve Alberto Callaspo going over to, say, Bono's house and getting busted for gay drug bongo sex and having his wife leave him for, oh, let's say Matthew Sweet or anything, but I mean I guess it's fairly interesting.

After the jump, the dark story behind Alberto's Last Gasp-o... and a look at the sinister forces that could be lurking in the shadows to keep the Royals down.

Recently, a number of websites criticized a newly written Kansas Chief policy that would make "standing" a form of prohibited conduct at a football game. The Chiefs have amended their policy by changing it three times since more fans learned of the policy on the internet.

On Tuesday as illustrated in the NFL Experts Blog, the policy prohibited:

"Standing and/or obstructing the view of other fans."

Yesterday, the Chiefs clarified the rule stating that the policy prevented:

"Excessive standing and/or obstructing the view of other fans"

Today, as I prepared to write this story, I noticed that the Chiefs policy now prevents:

"Continuous standing and/or obstructing the view of other fans."

Congratulations fans and interwebs for making your voices heard. This morning, I spoke with someone from the Chiefs to ask about the clarification of their policy.

Crystal Palace supporters still suffering from the loss of that Premier League promotion playoff last May might be taking a little solace in their American counterparts today.

USL Second Division side Crystal Palace Baltimore upset an uninspired New York Red Bulls side, 2-0, last night in the third round of the U.S. Open Cup. The win prompted many sports fans in Baltimore to say, "Wait, we have a soccer team here?"

Indeed, the club was founded in 2006, 101 years after Crystal Palace FC was founded in London, and it serves as a player development wing for the Coca-Cola Championship club. Clearly, player development is going pretty well there, though as Ives Galarcep notes, too many Red Bulls just didn't come to play last night.

Two other USL clubs pulled off upsets, as USL-1 leaders the Charleston Battery defeated MLS Cup holders the Houston Dynamo on penalty kicks, while the Seattle Sounders topped Chivas USA, 2-0. Other USL clubs didn't get away so easily. The Kansas City Wizards came back from a 2-0 deficit to topple the Carolina Railhawks, 4-2, in extra time, and FC Dallas scored a 2-1 comeback win against Miami FC. D.C. United, the Chicago Fire and the New England Revolution also cruised to victory over USL clubs.

The U.S. Open Cup quarterfinals are scheduled for next Tuesday.