FanHouse New York

John Tortorella is out of a coaching job, and the New York Islanders are looking for a new coach.

Put two and two together, and you get the Coaching Rumor of the Day, courtesy of Tampa Bay Online.

Former Lightning coach John Tortorella could be in line to take over the vacant head coaching position with the New York Islanders.

The Islanders have contacted Tampa Bay seeking permission to speak to Tortorella, the Tribune has learned. The Lightning have granted the Islanders their request to talk to Tortorella.

Do you really think such an arrangement would work? If Garth Snow couldn't get along with Ted Nolan, don't you think the fiery Tortorella would be an even more explosive combination in the Isles five-headed front office? I'd expect the Isles wouldn't allow Tortorella the same level of power to their new head coach, but who knows what the Isles are thinking at any one time?

Now, I can't be the only one who hopes this hiring happens. Tortorella on a losing team equals hella-fun post-game conferences. Just imagine the tirades the guy would go on after putting up with the Isles for an entire season!

New York's affection for Derek Jeter is no secret. He is everything that horrible, evil Alex Rodriguez isn't. He's a winner. He tags Jessica Biel. He had the good sense not to get married, because bro, who gets married, bro? Lame. Derek Jeter is the subject of more NYC man crushes than Judy Garland.

Problem is, he's not all that good anymore. His defensive prowess has been proven, time and again, to be significantly overrated. Though the man crushers are able to dismiss those findings as "too statistical," they're having a difficult time standing up for Jeter this year. His offense is down with his defense. The Yankees are thoroughly mediocre. That's hard to rebuff.

Last night, though, Derek Jeter did something wholly impressive, and the crushers are back out in force. While these two pieces are merely minor offenders, the New York Post's Larry Brooks really carries the torch:

New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress has a new book out in which he addresses the rumors that his former teammate with the Pittsburgh Steelers, Kordell Stewart, is gay.

Burress says that while he doesn't personally know or care if Stewart is gay, he does think that the rumors affected Stewart. From Pro Football Talk:

"People were talking about [Kordell] being gay," Burress writes in Chapter 5. "The players heard that, but we never talked about it. I don't know if Kordell is gay or not. It was none of our business. If ever we would have talked about it, it would have made everybody uncomfortable. If some player was gay, I don't think he could come out while he was still playing. It would be real hard. It would mess a team up mentally and it wouldn't be good for that person."

If Burress is right that a player couldn't come out while he was active in the NFL, that's a sad commentary on the NFL. I'd like to think that we're enlightened enough as a society that in most workplaces, coming out to a co-worker wouldn't be a big deal. Burress seems to think NFL locker rooms are among our society's least-enlightened workplaces, and I fear he's right.

For as much attention as the whole A-Rod/Madonna/Lenny Kravitz love triangle has received, I'm surprised that more reporters haven't stopped for a second and thought, "Hey, what if this is nothing but a huge publicity stunt?" According to Page 6, Kravitz is convinced that's exactly what it is, and he fired his manager Guy Oseary (pictured, with A-Rod) two weeks ago when he heard what was in the works:

[Cynthia Rodriguez's personal trainer Dodd] Romero called Kravitz two weeks ago to tip him off that Oseary - who managed Kravitz, Madonna and A-Rod - was about to "pimp out Madonna and A-Rod," said a source. But Kravitz didn't approve and told Romero, "I'll take care of this" - and fired Oseary.

Kravitz was shocked when he was then accused of having a fling with the slugger's wife, said the source. Romero believes Oseary planted the story in retaliation for being dumped.

Indirectly corroborating that story is this tidbit from TMZ.com, which claims that Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie decided all the way back in October to get a divorce but decided to postpone announcing it so as to generate publicity -- and cash -- for Madonna's upcoming tour.

On Tuesday night, the New Jersey Nets held a reception for about 40 season ticket holders at the Barclays Showroom in Midtown Manhattan. That would be the showroom in advance of the Barclays Center. And that, dear friends, is where the Nets have been rumored to be moving in 2010. There's been a lot of speculation about the development, whether it will get done, how the progress is going, and if the New Jersey Nets might end up just staying in New Jersey.

The Nets have news for you. Brooklyn's the spot.

At the reception, team officials told the ticket-holders that "Brooklyn is happening" and said they plan to break ground on the new development in the fall.

Go ahead. Insert your own LeBron James joke here.

The team also verified that they will be called the Brooklyn Nets, and that there might be a logo and color change. No word yet on whether they intend to change the logo to a silhouette of James. But don't worry, Cleveland fans. What with your dramatic trade for Michael Redd... no. Well, I mean, with the fact that you landed Elton Brand...no. Um... no worries! Everything's fine!

Tabloid journalism is here to stay, which is a damn shame. Every inch we devote to the latest Alex Rodriguez-Madonna gossip pushes the real, hard-hitting, investigative reporting that we should be reading to the margins. We should be paying more attention to the important stuff ... like the media's dirty eating habits in the press dining room! From Page Six:

YANKEES radio announcer John Sterling is being called out for foul behavior in the stadium's press dining room. "Sterling has made a habit of walking over to the dessert table and dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel," one stadium worker told us, adding that the play-by-play vet has also used the same tablespoon to repeatedly take samples. During the Boston series, "He wandered over to the cake and pie section, broke off a piece of a cake slice, ate it and wiped his grimy hands on the linen tablecloth, leaving the remainder of the slice for someone else to eat - which indeed happened," our spy continued.

Yeah, that's disgusting. That's like putting your whole mouth in the ice cream! There's a lesson to be learned: don't use your hands at the buffet table always tip the wait staff. Granted, I'm guessing the workers in the Yankee Stadium dining room aren't even supposed to accept tips, but believe me, this kind of story wouldn't have happened if Sterling had bothered to drop a fiver every now and then.

Stay tuned for more hard-hitting media criticism, including unconfirmed reports that suggest that the real reason for Mike and the Mad Dog may be splitting up is because Chris Russo double-dips!

You have to feel a little sorry for Stephon Marbury. Not only is today the day that Steve & Barry's, the company that produces his signature shoe line, expected to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, but it's also the day that Chris Duhon, the man Donnie Walsh recruited to replace him in the starting lineup, can officially sign with the Knicks.

But while losing his biggest endorsement and (most likely) his starting gig has to sting, at least he can go to bed at night sleeping on a pile of money. He's set to make $21 million this year, the final year of his contract, and there's a good chance he won't have to do anything to earn it. While he's still going through the motions of preparing to play for the Knicks this year, no one on the team actually expects that he'll be around come the start of the season. From Alah Hahn of Newsday:

Most of the Knicks players aren't expecting Marbury to be there, despite his reported plans to come to Las Vegas this weekend to participate in voluntary workouts with other Knicks veterans while the team prepares for the NBA Summer League opener Monday. Marbury's effort to show up in Vegas is viewed by some teammates as a ploy, not a sincere effort.

"He's trying to show he's still dedicated," said one Knicks player, who asked not to be identified. "Come on, man, your teammates know. We see it every year."

Hey, more Alex Rodriguez-Madonna nonsense! Fortunately, this might be the best bit yet. In this New York Daily News story about all the floozies A-Rod's rogered since he's been married -- apparently A-Rod prefers tequila before sex, and don't we all -- a brilliant little detail has surfaced. According to some sketchy anonymous source, A-Rod used a special brand of disguise to make his way into Madonna's apartment:

One source said A-Rod tried to avoid being recognized during visits to the Manhattan apartment of one girlfriend by wearing "a fake mustache."

Ah, the fake mustache. Second only to Clark Kent's glasses in disguise implausibility.

Of course, being the mustache activist that I am, I had to reach out to the American Mustache Institute for their take on this buffoonery.

Patrick Ewing is considered one of the most popular New York Knicks of all time. He is also a coach on a professional basketball team. You would think, then, that he might get a shot at some sort of coaching position with the 'Bockers should spots in the staff clear out. They did, and he did not.

So, uh, what gives Donnie Walsh? You know, since you never told him the first time around.

Ewing, head coach of Orlando's summer-league team, said he spoke with Knicks President Donnie Walsh during the predraft camp in Orlando.

"Donnie just said why I didn't get an interview [with the Knicks] was because we [the Magic] were in the playoffs," Ewing said.

Asked why the Knicks couldn't wait until Orlando's postseason ended, Ewing said, laughing, "I don't know. That's what I was told."

Right. That's like saying that you never called a girl you met because your cellphone. (Read: Come up with a better fib.) Ewing did not get the call because, as Ziller has previously mentioned, he likes to chat it up with dancers before the game instead of preparing his players.

So, it's not a real knock on Walsh for using that excuse, but a simple "I wanted to let Mike fill out his own staff, Pat" would have sufficed.

It looks like the Mets are going to need to step up their quest for a corner outfielder. Ryan Church is headed back to the disabled list, according to a report that was just on WFAN Radio in New York, and it probably wouldn't be wise to count on his return at any point in the future.

Church will likely play again this year, mind you, but concussions are nasty, nasty business that have a habit of making a nuisance of themselves. Between that and Moises Alou's complete lack of physical health, then, the Mets can't stand pat and try to make do with Endy Chavez and a collection of second-tier players from the minor leagues. Jason Bay and Matt Holliday are the biggest names on the market but the Mets could probably swing a deal for less if they went after guys like Xavier Nady and Raul Ibanez.

It would be easy to castigate the Mets for the way they've handled Church's injury this season. They certainly should have put him on the shelf right away instead of allowing him to travel with the team and play but at the end of the day this was probably going to be a lingering issue no matter what. It's impossible to know just what Church told the team about his condition, although one can presume he wants to be on the field, and he's been too important to the offense for the team to not want him in the lineup.