FanHouse Tennessee

On Oct. 24, Justin Paschall, a 13-year-old eighth grader at Southside Elementary in Lebanon, Tenn., went to his first Alabama-Tennessee football game. He traveled to Tuscaloosa with his grandfather, Ray Todd, as huge of an Alabama fan as there is in the Southland and two cousins, also Alabama fans. Justin says his first question upon being told that his grandfather had tickets for the game, his first ever Tennessee game, was, "Can I wear my orange jacket?"

Grandpa Ray Todd, Alabama born and bred and now residing in Tennessee, said that he could wear his orange, and on Friday the foursome traveled to Tuscaloosa for the game. Come Saturday, Justin woke up and took wearing orange to a whole new level.

Last week Mike Slive, the Montgomery Burns of the SEC, threatened Lane Kiffin with a suspension and rewrote the SEC policy when it comes to commenting on officiating. All season, Slive has been besieged by officiating errors, coaches sniping at one another, and the continuing onslaught of media coverage having a brand new television contract and two top-ranked teams has brought.

Now, Slive (pictured right) is backed into a corner. Just a few days after Slive announced his new policy on officiating, Urban Meyer teed off on officiating once more, taking a shot at the non-call on a late hit that Georgia delivered to Florida quarterback Tim Tebow.

"That should have been a penalty, in my opinion," Meyer said, "Obviously, it should have been. You've got to protect quarterbacks. That's the whole purpose. It's right in front of the referee."

One of the most frustrating cliches trotted out by college football's BCS defenders is this banal line: Every game counts. I hate this three-word cliche with the fury of a thousand blazing suns. I hate the smugness with which it's delivered, I hate the fact that no one points out the obvious -- name a sport where the games don't actually count-- but I hate the fact that it isn't even true the most.

In fact, this phrase is positively Orwellian because it leaves off the final part of the sentence. Every game counts ... except some games count more than others. How else to explain the fact that everyone can brush off Boise State's win over Oregon because it happened the first game of the season?

I understand we're dealing with a broken system, but right now Boise State is continuing to plummet as they win. I wrote about the glass ceiling that Boise had reached a couple of weeks ago, but has it really reached the point where we just ignore the first week of the season?

In the minutes after he was hired at Tennessee, Lane Kiffin's wife, Layla, shot to the forefront of Google search results. At the time she was pregnant with her third child. None of that mattered. Vol fans, and college football fans across the country, were immediately amazed with how far Lane Kiffin had outkicked his coverage. Layla's good looks and Lane's recruiting offered tangible proof, if any was needed, that my theory -- the hotter the wife the better the recruiter -- was gold.

Now, having delivered her third child, rumors swirled Friday morning that Layla would be posing for Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue. As first reported by the Sports Animal radio station in Knoxville, the rumor swept the Internets and sent pulses racing and subscription rates surging in the Tennessee Valley. Alas, it was not to be. "Absolutely not true," said Tiffany Carpenter, director of UT public relations.

Lane Kiffin's off-field comments have twice earned him reprimands from the Southeastern Conference this season. But now he's finally getting mad props -- assuming people still give mad props -- thanks to the rapper Lil Wayne. In Lil's newest track, Banned From TV, the Southern rapper includes this line, "Smoke weed, talk s--- like Lane Kiffin." Now Lane Kiffin has acknowledged the endorsement via Twitter, tweeting today, "looking forward to another great practice today and a huge game Saturday ... also a huge shout-out to Lil Wayne for boosting our street cred!"

Yep, two of the South's top gangsters are already in fine form. As for fans? Well, UT fans, are already talking about, wait for it, the recruiting benefits of Lil Wayne's lyrical endorsement. Wrote a reader, Alan, this morning in an e-mail to me, "Should help with recruiting. Especially in South Florida, Louisiana, Atlanta and Memphis."

But why stop with recruiting help? Now that he's been bound and gagged by the SEC, Lane Kiffin should hop on the gangster train and play this for all it's worth.

In the wake of Tennessee's 12-10 loss to Alabama, Lane Kiffin expressed displeasure over the penalty disparity -- Alabama received one penalty for 10 yards while Tennessee received eight for 68 -- the lack of a penalty on Terrance Cody on the game's final play, and even suggested that the referees were the reason he chose to kick the field goal from 44 yards rather than run another play to move closer.

"You run another play and you throw an interception or they throw another flag on us," Kiffin said Sunday. "I wasn't going to let the refs lose the game for us there and some magical flag appear."

The SEC fired back today, reprimanding the Tennessee coach.

When you take a road trip as a fan, you dream about moments like these. Four seconds to play, a hated rival on the ropes, your team lined up for a final play with victory or defeat hinging entirely on that one play. After over three hours of even football, it all comes down to this one final snap. And you want one thing more than any other: complete silence to soak through the stadium while your team pours onto the field in celebration, their celebratory shouts no louder than the dribble of a basketball on a court hundreds of yards away, echoing over the stunned home crowd. For a moment you might even contemplate, like I did, simply closing your eyes and allowing the crowd reaction to tell the story of the field goal. But instead, I watched.

Tennessee came achingly close on Saturday to delivering the most agonizing loss to Alabama at Bryant-Denny Stadium in a couple of decades, maybe ever. But then they ran into a mountain of a man.

For Alabama, it came down to a physics problem.

In the last seconds of what suddenly became a white-knuckle 'Third Saturday' tilt, Terrence Cody, the Crimson Tide's city block of a nose tackle, punched through the Tennessee line and came face to foot with Vols' kicker Daniel Lincoln. All that was left to was to see whether something the weight of an upright piano could rise high enough into the air to bring down a 44-yard-field goal try.

So, when the would-be game-winning kick caromed off Cody's armpit, sealing Alabama's 12-10 win, the nose tackle ripped off his helmet with two hands and let loose a massive yelp that must have echoed from Tuscaloosa and Tuscany.

He hadn't just beaten Tennessee. He'd done a number on Isaac Newton too.

When it comes to debating rankings, Alabama head coach Nick Saban is a fuddy-duddy.

So there's no need to waste your time, even if the Crimson Tide leapfrogged SEC rival Florida into the top spot of this week's Associated Press poll. Of course, Alabama is also ranked second behind the Gators in the initial installment of the weekly BCS poll that will determine national title invites by early December.

Saban doesn't mean to be a killjoy -- or does he? -- but his game-at-a-time mantra is focused on Saturday's showdown against visiting Tennessee.

Alabama opened as a 16.5 point favorite over Tennessee. So I did what any self-respecting Tennessee fan would do when faced with this obstacle: I wagered my beard that Tennessee will cover that spread with Memphis radio host Chris Vernon, the man behind the cult classic video, Colonel Reb Is Crying. Given that I've been rocking the beard since 2002, I'm very confident in my bet, almost as confident that this will be a single-digit game that isn't decided until the fourth quarter. I'll explain why as I break down the game, but know this, right now Alabama fans are rolling their eyes and banging on their their talking typewriters -- as computers have yet to reach Alabama -- "Your an idiot," they're about to type in their magic invisible letters -- you know it as e-mail -- to me.