FanHouse

Penn State Players Finally Charged With Marijuana Possession

Adam Jacobi — 2008-09-18T01:20:00 00:00

Filed under: Penn State, Big 10, Police Blotter

Hey, remember a few weeks ago, when Penn State had that strange situation where a metric buttload of police showed up to an apartment where players lived without really saying why? And then we found out it was because they smelled marijuana? Remember that?

Well, it's three weeks later, and you're never going to guess this, but the police have decided to charge the players with possession of marijuana. Three. Weeks. Later:

Charges have been filed against Nittany Lions Abe Koroma and Maurice Evans in connection with a Sept. 2 marijuana seizure at a Nittany Apartments residence, according to court documents filed today.

Koroma and Evans have been charged with possession of a small amount of marijuana, an ungraded misdemeanor, according to the criminal complaint.

There's only one reasonable scenario in which police take a small amount of marijuana from an apartment, then wait three weeks before filing charges. Well, check that, two:

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A Case of the Mondays: Exeunt Ohio State

Adam Jacobi — 2008-09-15T18:30:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Ohio State, USC, Pac 10

Yes, Todd Boeckman, this is what a case of the Mondays feels like.

Week three is in the books, and boy howdy is it getting awesome. Ohio State is somehow still ranked rather high, despite doing nothing all season. Still, barring a second straight year of NCAA-wide meltdowns, their title dreams are o-v-e-r; voters won't make the mistake of naming OSU the top one-loss team in the nation again. Especially since Tressel decided to duck powerhouse Iowa (again).

Elsewhere, Wisconsin survived a trip to Fresno, UCLA lost in a squeaker, and Washington shanked an Oklahoma defensive lineman during a 47-point loss. Revenge killings are always the ugliest. And yes, USC is the top team in the land, but the rest of their conference is an absolute horror show.

As always, we'll be spending our Monday evening answering any questions you've got, even if they're weird and have to do with adult diapers (PROTIP: spend the extra money on name brands). Join us at 7:30 EST, and we'll have you done in plenty of time for EDSBS Live.

The chat window's after the jump.

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Your Ballsiest Non-Conference Scheduler Is... Fresno State

Adam Jacobi — 2008-09-11T22:50:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Fresno State, Wisconsin, WAC

For a program in the WAC, life is difficult. Outside of the BCS umbrella, giant paydays are foreign, and nationally televised games are a rarity. Even perfection is only rewarded in the most cursory of manners, yielding a lesser BCS bowl that places the program no closer to the title than if they'd spent the weekend in Shreveport.

And while the title issue remains, well, an issue for as long as the BCS's greasy tentacles ensnare the crystal football, there is a way for lesser I-A programs to get noticed, and that's to take the BCS programs head-on. There are few programs so willing to do so as Fresno State, the plucky Bulldogs from the mythical state of Fresno.

Fresno has a remarkable non-conference resume over the last decade, taking on such programs as Colorado, Ohio State, USC, Tennessee, Oklahoma, and Oregon. Also, this weekend, they face Wisconsin for the third time in six years. They also scheduled Sacramento State, but let's not concern ourselves with pesky confounders. And as the Sac Bee reports, that legacy is safe for years to come:

Nebraska, Colorado and Mississippi were added to the Bulldogs' schedule beginning in 2010. They also scheduled games against Cincinnati, UC-Davis, Cal Poly and Rutgers.

We'll be ignoring UC-Davis and Cal Poly, as they render my argument ridiculous. Say what you will about Fresno's success against the upper echelon, but they have inserted themselves into the national discussion better than anybody else in the WAC (oh, Hawaii? Boise State? No no; you've already stopped thinking about them this year, haven't you?). And when you're consigned to the ghettos of college football, that's about the best you can do.

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A Case of the Mondays: What Was That?

Adam Jacobi — 2008-09-08T18:45:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: East Carolina, Ohio State, Syracuse, West Virginia

Terrelle Pryor and the Buckeys almost had an epic case of the Mondays.

Week 2 is in the books, and we have lots to talk about, namely: Dude, what?! Ohio State barely beats Ohio, sending chortles throughout Southern California. West Virginia self-implodes against a very, very feisty ECU team, and Syracuse continues their slide into futility, getting smoked by... Akron.

Let's talk about the madness this evening on A Case of the Mondays, the best thing to happen to college football, ever. Festivities start at 7:00 p.m EST, right below the jump.

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Smelley, 'Cocks Looking For Pay Dirt

Adam Jacobi — 2008-09-03T16:15:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: South Carolina, SEC, Injuries

Good news for South Carolina: your 'Cocks are getting Smelley:

After an outstanding performance in relief last week, [Chris] Smelley will get the start Thursday night in the No. 24 Gamecocks' SEC opener at Vanderbilt, which defeated Smelley and South Carolina last year.

[Steve] Spurrier decided to go with Smelley for the SEC opener after [Tommy] Beecher couldn't practice Monday because he couldn't lift his non-throwing shoulder.

As the Good Doctor pointed out, Smelley's resume is as skid-marked, if not moreso, than Tommy Beecher's; Smelley took liberties with the proverbial pooch in the aforementioned Vandy loss last year, which blocked the 'Cocks' conference title aspirations.

But to be fair, this is a new year, and in this new year the Gamecock offense ~~grundled~~ ground to a halt for three quarters before Smelley roasted the place like a Dutch Oven. Directing three consecutive touchdown drives, Smelley turned a 13-0 stinker into a 34-0 steamer.

Steve Spurrier definitely knew the writing was smeared on the wall. Remember, this is the The Old Ball Coach, which means if there's one thing this coach knows, it's balls. Hopefully, TOBC can wash the taint of bad 'Cock play from this season before his gang gets banged up too hard.

And that's why Chris Smelley is your top Cock.

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A Case of the Mondays: Live Football Edition

Adam Jacobi — 2008-09-01T19:00:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Fresno State, Rutgers, Tennessee, UCLA

Phil Fulmer has a ring. Kiss it.

It's time once again for Blogfrica's finest weekly feature, A Case of the Mondays. We're a little later this week, as we're here to cover this evening's football. Tennessee visits UCLA, since their last trip out west was, um, so much fun. Also, Fresno meets Rutgers in a tilt that will probably involve a fistfight somewhere (because New Jersey is full of thugs! And so is Fresno! And we love stereotyping!).

Join us at 8 PM eastern tonight as we discuss The Week That Was. Is your team looking good? Worried about the conference schedule? And did you enjoy Pitt's one week of fame before it all crashed down?

Chat window's after the jump.

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This Year's Appalachian State Is Nobody

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-31T04:30:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Michigan, San Diego State

After last season's mildly noticeable upset of Michigan by Appalachian State, media and football enthusiasts alike were eager to figure out where this year's Week 1 Bombshell would come from. Would it be Appalachian State again? (Hint: NO)

As it turns out, those of you who bubbled in D) None of the above were correct, as Division I-A simply demolished their lower-level counterparts. In 32 inter-division games, I-A went 31-1, the lone loss coming in a 2-point Cal Poly win over basement dweller San Diego State. That was an "upset" the way Crocs are "shoes" or Rhetoric teachers are "professors": only in terms of classification, not reality.

The rest of the games were slightly more skewed toward the superior conference, as I-A won the other 30 games by an average of over 31 points. Sure, there was Maryland squeaking by Delaware 14-7, but only two other games were even within two scores, and most were laughers by halftime.

Even after Appalachian State's victory in the Big House last year, of course, nobody was going to suggest that Division I-AA could reliably compete with their big brothers. Except, uh, that's what everybody wanted to think (I plead guilty). If anything, this institutional pistol-whipping reinforces what was immediately apparent only 52 weeks ago: Last year's upset was ABSOLUTELY ENORMOUS.

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College Football Live Chat: The Night Shift

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-30T19:00:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Alabama, Clemson, Texas, General CFB Insanity

Welcome to the FanHouse Night Shift, where we're letting you college football fans ride out the night with an intriguing slate of games. We have trash-talking Howard Schnellenberger and FAU at Texas, Bama-slayers Louisiana-Monroe against No. 10 Auburn, and upstart Clemson facing the aforementioned Crimson Tide.

Stop on in if you've got a hankering for football, because we want to hear from you. How are your picks doing? How's your holiday weekend? Maybe you're just coming back from your own game, and... oh god, you've been drinking, haven't you? What are the neighbors going to think? Tell us you at least didn't drunk-dial your ex again.

If you can stand yourself and your gross, decadent ways, join us at 8 p.m. right here. The chat window's below the jump.

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Washington Tries to Turn Fortunes Around With Young Lineup. Please Don't Laugh at Them

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-25T22:00:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Washington, Pac 10, Coaching

The Pac-10's saddest sack of sad continues to be the Washington Huskies, a backwards, underarmed prgram that benefits only other Pac-10 teams and Notre Dame fans who really didn't need the boost in self-assuredness to begin with. Ty Willingham keeps trying, and God bless him for it, but we're starting to wonder if even he realizes what little good the effort does.

The latest sign of impending structural failure comes from today's AP piece where everybody acknowledges that Willingham will be fielding "perhaps the youngest team he's ever put out on the field":

Those youngsters will get a quick initiation in one of the most heated atmospheres in college football when the Huskies travel to rival Oregon on Saturday night. Willingham plans to start 10 sophomores or freshman - including a pair of true freshmen - against the No. 21 Ducks.

[...]

The reliance on inexperienced players at key positions only highlights how hard the first three weeks could be for Willingham. After opening at Oregon, the Huskies return home for games against No. 16 BYU and No. 4 Oklahoma.

Three Top 25 games to start the season, and almost half of their starters are underclassmen? Mercy. Sure, Jake Locker's one of those sophomores and talent is talent, but come on. This isn't Olympic China, Tyrone; it's okay to use older players. And for God's sakes, stop forging little girls' passports.

While the Great Washington Youth Movement might be the best idea for the Huskies' long-term success, it seems pretty clear that the "long term" doesn't necessarily include Willingham's gainful employment. Maybe, in some weird way, such selflessness will endear him enough to another school to merit another head coaching job.

What's that? No? Dumb idea? Horrible? Gotcha. Nice move anyway, Ty.

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A Case of the Mondays: Glory To Us All!

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-25T17:30:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: General CFB Insanity

Comrades, rejoice! Just like the college football season it's meant to discuss, our regular chat feature "A Case of the Mondays" makes its triumphant return this week. Starting at 6:30 ESPN, your college football Fanhousers will be live here to discuss the 2008 campaign. How's your Week 1 look? Who's this year's Cinderella? Iowa's going 13-0, right?

Be sure to be here at 6:30 EST with the rest of Fanhouse's coterie of ne'er-do-wells, as we discuss the Top 25, the SEC, bacon-flavored beer, Stalinism, and Ron Popeil. And that's just in the first 10 minutes.

Chat window's below the break.

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Monday Morning Coffee: Week One Is Coming

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-25T07:00:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: LSU, Michigan, Video

Start your work week off right with Monday Morning Coffee, where Fanhouse scours YouTube for the finest college football footage available. Either that or we give up after a couple minutes and just post the "I Like Turtles" kid.

Our long national nightmare is almost over, friends. Football begins this week. And yes, Week 1 is usually full of cupcakes, MACrifices, and the dreaded I-A/I-AA matchups. Either you win by 50 and the status quo remains the same, you only win by a handful and the panic sets in early, or ALL LIVING HELL BREAKS LOOSE.

When Appalachian State isn't saving boaters' lives or dropping incredible Gladiator references on a stunned Ann Arbor Crowd, they're out there taking on the college football universe with a limitless, unwavering drive. And really, after taking out Michigan, they had almost no choice but to bring on LSU; after all, what else are they going to say? "Today, Michigan! Tomorrow... North Texas!"? It doesn't really fly.

Cheers to you, Mountaineers. If you bring in 2008 at all like you did 2007, we are all in for another year of sweet, glorious anarchy.

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Georgia Bulldogs Catch Huge Break in Opener

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-21T15:45:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Georgia, SEC, NCAA FB Scandal

Georgia, upon learning of the suspensions.

That sound you hear is a giant collective sigh of relief from Athens, Georgia today, as Georgia Southern announced the suspensions of eight players, including two starters. The GSU Eight, as they're undoubtedly going to be remembered in the annals of history*, will miss the Georgia game after unspecified violations of team rules. Murder? Maybe!**

'Dawg fans must be ecstatic. This softens the blow of hapless Georgia's only game this season against the "Championship Subdivision," which sounds so much better than "Bowl Subdivision" and therefore must be way tougher competition. A cursory Google search confirms this, as NFL legend Rob Bironas is a Georgia Southern alum. I assume there's no Bulldogs in the NFL.

This scandal has clearly rocked the college football world, as Vegas sportsbooks aren't even putting out a line for the game anymore. It's one of the sporting world's most reliable maxims, and it's as true today as it ever has been: "you throw out the records when Georgia and Georgia Southern lock horns." We're not in the predicting business at FanHouse, never have been, but college football fans in the mood for a shocker just might want to watch this plucky Georgia team. Led by QB Matt Stafford (a.k.a. "The Little Quarterback Who Could"), these Bulldogs just might treat Mighty GSU a little "ruff!"

*hahahahahaha, the whats?!
**definitely.***
***Our legal department has just informed me I cannot say eight members of a football team are "definitely" murderers. Whatevs.

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Monday Morning Coffee: YO! Utah Raps

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-18T07:30:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Utah, Mountain West, Video

Start your work week off right with Monday Morning Coffee, where Fanhouse scours YouTube for the finest college football footage available. Either that or we give up after a couple minutes and just post the "I Like Turtles" kid.

In the wake of the Josh Jarboe ~~farce~~ ~~debacle~~ traveshamockery, one would expect that colleges would be comically wary of any, any association between their players and the dreaded rap music. But young men are young men, and here we have not just one, but several collegians on camera, on YouTube, rapping. This time, they're from--wait, what? Utah? Oh no.

Jarboe's coach said it was "a cultural thing" when Jarboe decided to lay down his unfortunate lyrics, and after seeing this, we are absolutely in agreement. "We're not in it for the money/we're not in it for the fame/we're just in it to win it/for the love of the game" is a rhyme that... well, that probably doesn' t get dropped in at least 47 of the 50 states in the Union. Culture, you know.

We're only treated to two verses from rap's next great outfit, Utes 2 Men*, sadly. We're sure, though, that their debut album will feature such songs as "Straight Outta Ogden," "My Keds," and an absolutely devastating a cappella rendition of "My Favorite Things."

*That's definitely not their real name, but it should be.

[Terrorist Fist Jab: YBB]

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Top-Ranked Georgia Loses Starting Left Tackle for Season

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-12T23:10:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Georgia, SEC, Injuries

College football has no universal maxims, aside from "seven men on the line at the snap" and "Mike Stoops loses football games." There are, however, widely held truths, reliable but not immutable, and here are two:

1) A shaky quarterback needs a solid offensive line;

2) You can't be #1 if you lose late.

Both have just come into play in a very severe and immediate way for Georgia, as starting LT Trinton Sturdivant is gone for the year, his ACL torn to smithereens. While Sturdivant wasn't regarded as All-SEC, losing a backside pass protection anchor is bad, bad news, especially when the team in question--#1 Georgia--is vying for a title with an underwhelming quarterback like Matt Stafford.

Also, this is the SEC, a conference so demanding that a team may lose twice in conference play and still win the national title. Granted, that was in 2007, where up was down, down was up, and Mississippi State won eight games.

Still, the 2008 SEC is still far and away the toughest conference in the land, and every piece taken away from its leader is further reason to think that the road to the BCS Championship will not go through Dixieland (err, except for the title game itself. Shut up.). With November dates in Jacksonville and at Auburn (not to mention the SEC Championship), the Dawgs' road to the BCS title game looks even more treacherous.

In any case, Georgia's claim to #1 was short-lived to begin with; barring 80-point victories over Georgia Southern, Central Michigan, and South Carolina, the top spot was necessarily going to be awarded to the winner of Ohio State-USC after September 13 no matter what. Can Georgia win the spot back with a less than optimal offensive line?

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Monday Morning Coffee: Do They Give Oscars for YouTube Videos?

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-11T07:00:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Oklahoma State, Big 12, Video

Barry Sanders, as we're all well aware, was an absolutely transcendent talent at tailback. As great as it was seeing him juke NFL linebackers and safeties out of their jocks, it was even better when he was running against vastly inferior competition at the college level.

One helpful YouTube user, in fact, has combined footage from both Barry's college and pro careers. You'll notice that Barry's college highlights are quite a bit longer, if not as numerous--it's a lot harder to turn a spin move into a 40-yard TD in the NFL, after all.

Oh, you'll also miss the greatest soundtrack selection for a football highlight reel in history. When you think Barry Sanders, you don't necessarily make the jump to these guys. But that's what art does. It takes risks. For those purely interested in NCAA content, the NFL stuff starts at 1:48. You'll probably stop watching long before then, though, so mesmerized will you be by the music.

(I promise it's not a RickRoll, by the way. It's so much worse.)

Any commentary I make about the preceding video would only serve to A) ruin the surprise, and B) cheapen what you just experienced. That. Just. Happened.

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UCLA QB Ben Olson's Foot Hates Football

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-10T22:52:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: UCLA, Pac 10, Injuries

Ben LOLson

Far be it for FanHouse to callously and indiscriminately mock injuries, as nobody deserves a torn ACL or high ankle sprain. Pain is pain, and pain sucks.

And yet, every now and then, an injury comes along, and we as thinking observers of this sport and this planet just cannot help but laugh until our ribs shatter.

This season's comedy of abject failure comes from UCLA QB Ben Olson. You may remember about a month ago, when he was cleared to practice again after breaking his foot... while taking a snap. Olson had this to say about his return:

"It's a huge relief," Olson said. "Any time you get hurt, you never know how long it will take. You question if you will ever be back. It's nice to feel that it's progressing and we're moving forward."

Fast forward to today: Olson takes a snap, retreats from center, and... you can probably already guess exactly where this story is headed.

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Comedian/Actor Bernie Mac, 50, Passes Away

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-09T12:00:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi
The sports world lost a friend in the entertainment industry today, as comedian/actor Bernie Mac died of complications from pneumonia at the young age of 50.

The most prominent examples of Bernie Mac's ties to sports are his baseball movie, Mr. 3000, and his turn as conductor for the 7th inning stretch at Wrigley (above). Cubs fans probably want to forget that game. Bernie Mac was also an avid golfer, and recorded this commercial with Tiger Woods for Nike.

He was a very funny man with a tremendous personality, and now he's gone. A moment of silence, please, for Bernie Mac.

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Southern Cal Loses Starting Quarterback to Non-Contact Knee Injury

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-08T23:25:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: USC, Pac 10, Injuries

For all the worrying coaches do about protecting quarterbacks in the offseason and in practices, the fact remains that ~~collision-~~ contact-related injuries aren't nearly as catastrophic as non-contact, plant-grimace-and-collapse injuries.* Sure, you don't want your QB's ribcage caved in, but bones heal quickly and correctly. Torn ligaments, on the other hand, end seasons before they begin.

Pete Carroll was reminded of this duality today, as head QB in charge Mark Sanchez crumpled in a heap during stretching drills and was carted off the field. The AP is using non-specific, CYA terms like "apparent knee injury," but this certainly has all the symptoms of a torn ligament or patellar dislocation.

If it's a dislocated kneecap, that's not so bad; last year, their center Kristoffer O'Dowd suffered the same injury, and he "only" missed four games. ACL tears, of course, are a bit more severe.

For now, USC will turn to Arkansas transfer and former super-recruit Mitch Mustain, who never should have left Metallica. Mustain left Arkansas in the wake of some vague scandal, and did so in such a negative light that programs like Louisville and Oklahoma actually publicly balked on his transfer. But kid can throw, and while USC awaits Sanchez's fate, it's Mitch's game.

And yes, that's right, stretching drills. SbB expresses amazement that there's such a thing as a "carioca" drill in football and links to some Fred Astaire video, but surely I can't be the only one who remembers this drill from high school. It's not that obscure. As stretches go, it's actually kind of fun.

*Giant honking ruin-my-argument exception: Concussions.

Latest College Football Photos

Arkansas running back Michael Smith picks up yardage in the red-white game in Fayetteville, Ark., in this April 26, 2008 photo. Smith is the projected starter for the Razorbacks under new coach Bobby Petrino. (AP Photo/April L. Brown)

Penn State football quarterbacks Paul Cianciolo, left, Pat Devlin, center, and Daryll Clark drop back to throw during practice in State College, Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Penn State guard Rich Ohrnberger, second from left, reaches out and fixes coach Joe Paterno's hair during team photos in State College, Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. Left is kicker Kevin Kelly (23) and right is Tony Davis (11). (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Penn State quarterback Daryll Clark (17)throws during practice as quarterback coach Jay Paterno, background right, watches at right during practice in State College, Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno scratches his head during a news conference in State College, Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, right, laughs with quarterback Daryll Clark during practice in State College, Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Connecticut Quarterback Tyler Lorenzen speaks with reporters during his football team's media day in Storrs, Conn., on Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. (AP Photo/Fred Beckham)

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno pauses during a news conference in State College, Pa., Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Connecticut football coach Randy Edsall speaks with reporters during his football team's media day in Storrs, Conn., on Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. (AP Photo/Fred Beckham)

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SEC Preview: The Dregs

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-07T20:00:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Arkansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, Vanderbilt, SEC

As hierarchical as I-A college football is (indeed, much more so than any other American sport), nowhere is the caste system writ larger than in the SEC, where the good stay good, the bad stay bad, and Phil Fulmer stays comically overweight. Were EPL-style relegation ever to be implemented, you may rest assured that no more than two SEC programs would ever be in danger, and we're lucky enough to meet them both again today (plus a few new friends!).

After the jump, the four teams without a prayer of going .500 in the SEC in 2008...

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The JoePa Chronicles: Big Ten Talkin'

Adam Jacobi — 2008-08-05T22:40:00 00:00

by Adam Jacobi

Filed under: Penn State, Big 10

As part of our College Football preview series, we've been lucky enough to peek into the world of the JoePa Chronicles, where Fake Joe Paterno regales us and those around him with tales of football history, international intrigue, and that one weird story where he probably confused Ki-Jana Carter with Jimmy Carter. Fake JoePa also has lots to say about the upcoming season, and today he talks about the Big Ten.

AND THAT IS HOW LASSIE ACQUIRED THE CANINE AIDS
Just for saving a little red-headed boy? That hardly seems
NOT JUST ANY REDHEAD, A KNOWN IRISH
Whatever. Can I go home now? It's like 8 and all you've done since lunch is watch TV.
THIS IS FILM STUDIES, WE HAD A VERY INCONSISTENT YEAR LAST YEAR
No, it's not. It's the first season of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. And I think you know that because you've been singing along to the theme song even when it's not playing.
GO GO NOW A DANGER
I'm leaving.
GO GO COWS IN MANGERS

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