Bethlehem Shoals Posts

Maybe I would understand this better if I hadn't yet hit puberty, or spent more time in the state of Florida (per the banners). But as is, I have to come to you, my dear readers, and ask for translation on this one. Or maybe it's a "you pick the caption" type thing, but with dramatic or lyrical interpretation straight from the heart. I get that he's saying players' names, but is this even pro-NBA?

Watch and be amazed. And kid, if you're out there, your Bronze Star is waiting in the Guggenheim.

The Blazers are for real, and you should be watching them. Or at least thinking "if I had League Pass, I would totally watch the Portland Trail Blazers all the time".

I'm partial to LaMarcus Aldridge and Travis Outlaw, but it's pretty darn obvious that this team rests on the shoulders of Brandon Roy. The thing is, it's really difficult to explain what makes Roy good. You know he's winning games for Portland, and putting up big numbers. And yet I couldn't say what his signature style is, or why he's hard to stop at key moments. Luckily, David Thorpe had a go at it. He agrees that Roy's hard to pin down, and then does so anyway:

The reigning Rookie of the Year is still at the head of the class. He's not a special athlete, nor a dead-eye shooter, and he doesn't "Iverson" too many people with jaw-dropping ballhandling moves. What he is, though, is a great player, because he's good or very good at everything. He defies NBA scouts' creed of "have to be great at one thing" to be a legit NBA player. Literally, this is a player without a real weakness.

I'm most impressed by his pace. Roy plays at a unique tempo that makes him look slow. But as he goes past guys or creates open midrange jumpers with his handle and timing, we realize that everyone else is moving even slower because he is in total control of his game and the ballgame in general.

I'm wondering if that's also not an excellent working definition for "Duncan-esque".

(Via True Hoop)

Is it just me, or does Magic Johnson come off a lot like Tracy Jordan in this 1987 public service announcement?

Congratulations Zaza Pachulia, your love of music is something mere mortals can only barely begin to touch.

So Paul Pierce has been doing some major video damage lately. But in this television spot from last season, he's upstaged to all high hell by Delonte West. It's funny at the end when they put a snarky face on those woeful Celtics, but the best comes first, when they argue about fashion.

Delonte: "You ain't never touched this. It's genuine Tasmanian Devil."

Some good news about Nene's health issues. The Brazilian big man's website revealed today that the tumor removed this week is not malignant:

A statement posted on the Web site Thursday said, "According to reports presented by doctors, the exams show that the tumor is benign."

[...]

Dr. Fernando J. Kim, who performed the surgery at Denver Health Medical Center, said earlier that a "right testicular mass was found incidentally and it was managed surgically."

The Nuggets organization is waiting on some test results before they make a statement, so maybe there's still some breath to be held. However, you've got to think that Nene wouldn't go public like this unless signs were decidedly positive.

Still no timetable for Nene's return. He'd mentioned at one point that he might be back in time for this summer's international competition. Little solace to Nuggets fans, but it does indicate that he'll be healthy sooner rather than later. Regardless of his future in baskebtall, that's a great thing to hear.

UPDATE: Nene's site no longer has the statement posted. Stay tuned.

Hook, line and sinker. In the last twenty-four hours, Paul Pierce has taken over YouTube. First, it was his trip to the lanes. Now, the two-phase epic in which our man gets a haircut and muses on matters of lookin' sharp. The first one is more technical, but I'll put my money on this second, more reflective, joint.

Chris Paul and Michael Redd are known to be avid NBA bowlers. But pray tell, how could either one of them match the sheer exuberance of a night at the lanes with Paul Pierce?

Kobe Bryant is probably the best player in the league, but it's the emergence of Andrew Bynum that's made the Lakers legit. You'd think that his injury would cripple their championship hopes. But as TrueHoop reader Robert noted yesterday, the numbers say others:

As of today, the Lakers are 26-11. Assuming that the eight-week projection for Bynum's return is accurate, then the Lakers have 26 games left without him. Over the past two seasons, when Bynum wasn't the player we've seen this year, the Lakers were generally a .500 team finishing with 42 and 45 wins respectively. If the Lakers revert to being that .500 team, then they'll win 13 of those 26 games. That would give the Lakers a 39-24 record with 19 games remaining in the season. I see no reason that the Lakers could not win 11 of those last 19 games considering that 11 of them are at home and only 10 are against teams currently in the top eight in their conference.

Follow all that? The long and short: The Lakers weren't bad pre-Bynum. They just weren't elite. It's realistic to expect .500 ball from them until the big man returns, which, by all estimates, should be before the playoffs. They may not home court or anything, but they won't be facing an unbeatable in the first round, either. So while it's far from ideal, the Lakers aren't finished yet.

From the same computational matrix that brought "Isiah Thomas wants Ron Artest" and "Zeke hearts T-Mac," here's a brand new dance. Reported by the Sacramento Bee:

But according to two league sources who didn't want to be identified because of the private nature of trade talks, New York has an interest in [Mike] Bibby, as well. Yet a possible obstacle in those dealings could be forward David Lee. The athletic second-year big man out of Florida represents the very sort of piece the Kings are coveting as they enter this new rebuilding era at a pace of measured and patient deliberation. Lee has upside galore and a contract (two years and combined $2.8 million remaining) that lends itself to a more sane salary cap.

The frustrating thing is that, despite Zeke's rampant mismanagement, he still could make a deal if he let Lee go. Between the third-year forward (who doesn't start) and a couple of expiring contracts, the Knicks could make a move for the underpaid Artest or the moderately important Mike Bibby. What's more, he's got Stephon Marbury's $20 million coming off the books after 2008-09. Maybe, just maybe, some rebuilding team wants to put up with a year and a half of Marbury. Then, the sky really is the limit.

Admit it, though -- it drives you crazy that, after all he's messed up, Isiah still could swing a deal. Not one that's going to make the Knicks legit, but one to keep his job(s) one more season.