Brian Cook Posts

Ah, March, that time of year when various people you've never heard of pop up on your radar screen solely to inform you they no longer exist as entities that you had little chance of knowing even existed in the first place. Case in point:

You may recall the strange, sad story of Minnesota linebacker recruit Sam Maresh, a burly young man who seemingly saw his nascent football career ended by a heart defect that required open-heart surgery.

Doctors said he'd never play again, but Maresh vowed he would. A couple of months ago it seemed like he'd make good on that vow. Happy times for all. Then this happened:

Less than a year after undergoing heart surgery, Minnesota linebacker recruit Sam Maresh has a tumor in his calf.

Okay, that headline is not exactly news. It's up there with "points good to win foot-ball" as far as things you already know. But perhaps the news here is the vast extent to which Ohio State's hopes rest on the (enormous, strapping, terrifying) shoulders of Terrelle Pryor.

You see, Ohio State backup quarterbacks Rob Schoenhoft and Antonio Henton transferred last year, leaving Pryor, senior Todd Boeckman, and 26-year-old ex-minor-league-baseball-player and walk-on Joe Bauserman the only quarterbacks on the roster. Boeckman is now out of eligibility.

After last year's oversigning kerfuffle it's gotten to the point where people are emailing me the various malfeasances of coaches in search of hot young things with the expectation head will asplode to the entertainment of all.

Doctor Saturday might end up a little disappointed with this post, then, as he forwards along this shockingly frank admission from new New Mexico State coach DeWayne Walker:

This statement on how much Rich Rodriguez was paid last year, while technically true, is a vast misrepresentation:

In the 1970s, Col. Steve Austin became a household name as the lead character in the dramatic television series "The Six Million Dollar Man."

Last year, the University of Michigan had its own $6 million man: Football coach Rich Rodriguez.

Recruiting starts earlier every year and gets more coverage every year. Those trends combine to bring a record number of decommitments every year, annoying fans and coaches, but apparently not conference commissioners.

The American Football Coaches' Association (AFCA) has brought forth legislation to institute an early signing period in late December that almost three-quarters of I-A coaches support, but the conferences ain't having it:

Hawkeye football announcer Ed Podolak likes Budweiser and, er, the inside of ladies' shirts. As you can see above, there's now photographic proof thanks to some Iowa State fan who took the above photo and a couple others and posted them to the Internet.

Take it from a Michigan fan: one thing you do not want to do as a first- or second-year head coach is throw out a walk-on or freshman at quarterback.

Death follows, and quickly. So, yeah, I think it's weird that new Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin chucked both of his quarterback recruits out the window as soon as he arrived on campus.

Last year there was an enormous blowup in the blogosphere about whether or not Nick Saban's massive over-signing was ethical or not. A few months, one Jimmy Johns nose-candy arrest, and a half-dozen suspicious medical scholarships later, and Saban managed to cram his class in and even had scholarships left over.

This year Alabama is recruiting within reason, but it's another SEC coach messing with the kids he's in charge of: Steve Spurrier. First, he's told senior non-starters to GTFO:

Don't know if anyone's watching the ESPN halftime show, which is sort of like MTV's annual attempt to steal viewers during the Super Bowl halftime, except instead of hot gyrating babes you get Lou Holtz and Mark May. But Holy Lord if you're not, keep on watching whatever hot gyrating babes you've locked your radar onto.

I bring it up because May, being Mark May, made the dumbest argument I've heard tonight: Oklahoma shouldn't have gone for it on fourth and one from the Florida one. "Take the points." Etc etc etc. The usual inane chatter.

I mean, even if you subscribe to the floofy, mathematically wrong theory that you should accept whatever points you can get, you have to acknowledge that a 46-yard run from the two can lead to a punt while a 46-yard run from the 30 -- about where Florida would have gotten the ball back after a kickoff -- is going to lead to a field goal on your face at the very least, at which point you've just given back those precious three points you got.

In conclusion: Mark May should be a Wal-Mart greeter.