David Whitley Posts

Urban Meyer almost cried at the mention of Notre Dame the other day. His heart and future is at Florida, and nothing short of a papal encyclical is going to change that.

Sorry, Irish fans. Such a thing is not on Pope Benedict's calendar.

If only Notre Dame had a bit more divine wisdom 10 years ago, it wouldn't be in this mess. The Fighting Irish had Meyer and let him go. Now, there's just a trail of tears that altered the college football universe.

How different would this decade have been if Notre Dame had locked up its former receivers coach in 2000?

Imagine you just awoke from a 20-year nap. What would be the most shocking discovery?

That a black man is in the White House? That you have to call India to get computer advice? That ESPN's SportsCenter is more influential than the CBS Evening News?

Or that Temple is a college football power?

I'd go with the Owls, especially when you see who's no longer a power.

It's not nice to kick a man when he's down. In honor of that we will try to avoid the fallen bodies of Charlie Weis, Allen Iverson, Hulk Hogan, Rich Rodriguez and Caster Semenya.

As for Mark Mangino, another rule applies. If you have to kick a man when he's down, make sure he is built like a giant marshmallow so you won't hurt your foot.

So we come not to bury Mangino, but to treat him like a soccer ball. We couldn't bury him if we wanted to because the coffin construction would trigger a worldwide mahogany shortage.

And that, gentle readers, is the first of many potentially offensive references inspired by last week's biggest newsmaker. We hate to make fun of anyone, but the week was full of obesity news and Mangino earned the ridicule.

TUCSON, Ariz. -- Here's hoping SEC fans stayed up to watch Oregon beat Arizona Saturday night. They got to see a few things their league hasn't had enough of this season.

Drama, bedlam, theatrics, tension, hilarity and near-riotous fun. And that just begins to describe the Ducks' 44-41 double overtime win.

It finally ended as the clock struck midnight back East. Quarterback Jeremiah Masoli slithered into the end zone to crash what would have been the biggest football party Tucson ever threw.

All of which settled one thing. The Pac-10 is the best conference in America.

LOGAN, Utah -- It's not easy to feel sorry for the winningest football program of the millennium, but let's try.

Boise State beat Utah State, 52-21, Friday night to improve to 11-0. For the second straight year it will probably finish the regular season unbeaten.

Who knows? If the Broncos have five or six more perfect seasons, the BCS might invite the Broncos to its title game. Not to play, but perhaps they'll be allowed to valet Alabama's bus or hand out towels in the men's room.

With that vision in mind, I came here to feel sorry for the eternally shafted Broncos. The more I saw, the less sympathy I felt.

Jimmie Johnson doesn't need help winning. He desperately needs help making people appreciate winning.

On Sunday, Johnson clinched his fourth straight Sprint Cup title. To put that in layman's terms, Johnson is the Yankees, Patriots and American Idol wrapped into one.

That makes Johnson the most under-loved dynasty in sports history. When he won the crown Sunday at Homestead, most of America likely stifled a yawn unless he would have popped out of the cockpit dressed as Danica Patrick. (Needless to say, he didn't.)

Jimmie, we're here to help.

According to Internet polls, phone surveys, insulted ex-players and media analysts, Bill Belichick just sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees.

His decision to go for it on fourth down against the Colts was the dumbest move in Boston, if not world history.

"Belichick Gaffe Unrivaled" declared the Boston Globe.

Call me stupid, but I'd still rank it below the Red Sox selling Ruth to the Yankees for $125,000. And with all due respect to those who think Belichick should be involuntarily committed, I wouldn't even call what he Sunday night did a gaffe.

It was the right move for the simplest of reasons.

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If you believe there is a God, you have to be thrilled at last week's most visually stunning development.

Sammy Sosa is turning into The Joker.

He showed up at an awards show in Las Vegas with skin the color of your standard toilet bowl. Sosa blamed the freshly embalmed look on facial cream and bad lighting.

Nonsense. I want to believe it's Sosa's punishment for cheating his way to fame, fortune and home runs.

ORLANDO -- There are some places on the planet where I never thought I'd end up. The Oval Office and Jennifer Aniston's bedroom come immediately to mind.

But there's nowhere I belong less than on the first tee of a professional golf tournament.

With a club in my hand. And people watching. And my score actually counting. All in all, I'd rather have been in Whoopi Goldberg's bedroom Thursday morning. What was a hack like me doing in a place like the Children's Miracle Network Classic?

A big battle last week in college football was over an eye gouge and whether Tim Tebow was the victim of a late hit.

You'll forgive Bob Chappuis for not getting all caught up in it.

About 65 years ago, he was Tim Tebow. Only he spent his junior season trying to evade German patrols, not Georgia linebackers.