FanHouse

Notre Dame Passing on Meyer Calls for Urban Reviewal

David Whitley — 2009-11-25T16:10:00 00:00

Urban Meyer almost cried at the mention of Notre Dame the other day. His heart and future is at Florida, and nothing short of a papal encyclical is going to change that.

Sorry, Irish fans. Such a thing is not on Pope Benedict's calendar.

If only Notre Dame had a bit more divine wisdom 10 years ago, it wouldn't be in this mess. The Fighting Irish had Meyer and let him go. Now, there's just a trail of tears that altered the college football universe.

How different would this decade have been if Notre Dame had locked up its former receivers coach in 2000?

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Even Temple Is a Winner in New World

David Whitley — 2009-11-24T06:00:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: Temple

Imagine you just awoke from a 20-year nap. What would be the most shocking discovery?

That a black man is in the White House? That you have to call India to get computer advice? That ESPN's SportsCenter is more influential than the CBS Evening News?

Or that Temple is a college football power?

I'd go with the Owls, especially when you see who's no longer a power.

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Week in Review: A Wide World of Sports

David Whitley — 2009-11-22T15:37:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: FanHouse Exclusive

It's not nice to kick a man when he's down. In honor of that we will try to avoid the fallen bodies of Charlie Weis, Allen Iverson, Hulk Hogan, Rich Rodriguez and Caster Semenya.

As for Mark Mangino, another rule applies. If you have to kick a man when he's down, make sure he is built like a giant marshmallow so you won't hurt your foot.

So we come not to bury Mangino, but to treat him like a soccer ball. We couldn't bury him if we wanted to because the coffin construction would trigger a worldwide mahogany shortage.

And that, gentle readers, is the first of many potentially offensive references inspired by last week's biggest newsmaker. We hate to make fun of anyone, but the week was full of obesity news and Mangino earned the ridicule.

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Dramatic Pac-10 Is Nation's Best

David Whitley — 2009-11-22T02:30:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: Arizona, California, Oregon, Stanford, Pac 10

TUCSON, Ariz. -- Here's hoping SEC fans stayed up to watch Oregon beat Arizona Saturday night. They got to see a few things their league hasn't had enough of this season.

Drama, bedlam, theatrics, tension, hilarity and near-riotous fun. And that just begins to describe the Ducks' 44-41 double overtime win.

It finally ended as the clock struck midnight back East. Quarterback Jeremiah Masoli slithered into the end zone to crash what would have been the biggest football party Tucson ever threw.

All of which settled one thing. The Pac-10 is the best conference in America.

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Don't Cry for Boise State in Weak WAC

David Whitley — 2009-11-21T09:23:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: Boise State

LOGAN, Utah -- It's not easy to feel sorry for the winningest football program of the millennium, but let's try.

Boise State beat Utah State, 52-21, Friday night to improve to 11-0. For the second straight year it will probably finish the regular season unbeaten.

Who knows? If the Broncos have five or six more perfect seasons, the BCS might invite the Broncos to its title game. Not to play, but perhaps they'll be allowed to valet Alabama's bus or hand out towels in the men's room.

With that vision in mind, I came here to feel sorry for the eternally shafted Broncos. The more I saw, the less sympathy I felt.

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Jimmie Johnson: The Great Unknown

David Whitley — 2009-11-18T14:15:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: Jimmie Johnson

Jimmie Johnson doesn't need help winning. He desperately needs help making people appreciate winning.

On Sunday, Johnson clinched his fourth straight Sprint Cup title. To put that in layman's terms, Johnson is the Yankees, Patriots and American Idol wrapped into one.

That makes Johnson the most under-loved dynasty in sports history. When he won the crown Sunday at Homestead, most of America likely stifled a yawn unless he would have popped out of the cockpit dressed as Danica Patrick. (Needless to say, he didn't.)

Jimmie, we're here to help.

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Nothing Wrong With Belichick's Gamble

David Whitley — 2009-11-16T19:30:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: Patriots, NFL Coaching, NFL Analysis

According to Internet polls, phone surveys, insulted ex-players and media analysts, Bill Belichick just sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees.

His decision to go for it on fourth down against the Colts was the dumbest move in Boston, if not world history.

"Belichick Gaffe Unrivaled" declared the Boston Globe.

Call me stupid, but I'd still rank it below the Red Sox selling Ruth to the Yankees for $125,000. And with all due respect to those who think Belichick should be involuntarily committed, I wouldn't even call what he Sunday night did a gaffe.

It was the right move for the simplest of reasons.

Mariotti: Belichick Goes From 'Spygate' to 'Stupidgate'
More: Roundtable Discussion | Precedent for Belichick Blunder

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Week in Review: Karma for Steroid Era

David Whitley — 2009-11-15T12:34:00 00:00

by David WhitleyIf you believe there is a God, you have to be thrilled at last week's most visually stunning development.

Sammy Sosa is turning into The Joker.

He showed up at an awards show in Las Vegas with skin the color of your standard toilet bowl. Sosa blamed the freshly embalmed look on facial cream and bad lighting.

Nonsense. I want to believe it's Sosa's punishment for cheating his way to fame, fortune and home runs.

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Amateur Hour at the Children's Miracle Network Classic

David Whitley — 2009-11-12T19:40:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: PGA

ORLANDO -- There are some places on the planet where I never thought I'd end up. The Oval Office and Jennifer Aniston's bedroom come immediately to mind.

But there's nowhere I belong less than on the first tee of a professional golf tournament.

With a club in my hand. And people watching. And my score actually counting. All in all, I'd rather have been in Whoopi Goldberg's bedroom Thursday morning. What was a hack like me doing in a place like the Children's Miracle Network Classic?

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Let's Pause to Celebrate a Man of Action

David Whitley — 2009-11-10T18:30:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: College Sports

A big battle last week in college football was over an eye gouge and whether Tim Tebow was the victim of a late hit.

You'll forgive Bob Chappuis for not getting all caught up in it.

About 65 years ago, he was Tim Tebow. Only he spent his junior season trying to evade German patrols, not Georgia linebackers.

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Bucs Find Old-School Mojo in New QB

David Whitley — 2009-11-08T20:00:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: Buccaneers, Packers, NFL Analysis

TAMPA -- A very amusing story died on Sunday. A better one might have been born.

We came not to bury the Bucs, but laugh at them with their rookie quarterback and creamsicle uniforms. Instead, the joke is on the Packers.

"I don't think it's embarrassing," Packers guard Daryn Colledge said after the 38-28 loss. "The fact is they are a professional football team."

Just barely. The Bucs were so inept in their first seven games they gave us real hope we'd see another 0-16 season.

It's not that I enjoy watching Raheem Morris suffer. It's just that if you're going to stink, you might as well really stink to keep things interesting. These Bucs will never be the novelty act their forefathers were.

More: Check Box Score | Saints Survive Panthers' Upset Bid

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Hair Pulling Edition of Week In Review

David Whitley — 2009-11-08T17:15:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: College Sports, Soccer

With all due respect to the Yankees for winning their 27th world championship, last week's most astounding accomplishment goes to Elizabeth Lambert.

She succeeded where Pele, Beckham, Posh Spice and the United Nations and others failed. Lambert made Americans care about soccer.

Not just soccer, but women's soccer. And she didn't have to take off her shirt to do it.

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Tragic Times Fail to Deter Iowa HS Football Team

David Whitley — 2009-11-06T20:15:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: High School Sports

The season is over for the most famous high school football team in America. It wasn't the happy ending everyone wanted.

If it had been, ESPN's trucks would be rolling back into Parkersburg, Iowa, followed by a truckload of other media. This story had a Hollywood beginning, then it turned into a reality show.

"Our kids deserved to have a ball bounce their way or a break to win a close game," Al Kerns said. "But that's the movies."

He's the co-coach at Aplington-Parkersburg High. You may not remember the name, but you probably remember the plight.

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Refusing adidas Is Far From a Swoosh

David Whitley — 2009-11-05T14:15:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: UCF

So you think Air Jordans are expensive? The pair Marcus Jordan put on Wednesday night cost $3 million.

That's what his school's exclusive deal with adidas was worth. Now adidas has canceled the contract, and UCF athletes may have to play in their Crocs.

If we didn't know better -- and we don't -- we'd say it's all a Nike conspiracy.

It wanted adidas to make a stink over Jordan's feet so it can swoosh in on a white horse. But until that plot is exposed, we'll take this rift face value.

That means only one person can truly save the day.

Come on, Marcus. Put on the adidas.

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Le Moyne Leaves Orange Seeing Red

David Whitley — 2009-11-04T18:00:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: Syracuse, Big East

There could have been bigger upsets Tuesday night. Mike Bloomberg could have lost the New York mayor's job to Stephon Marbury. Or "The Jay Leno Show" could have won its time slot.

If you were caught up watching those returns, you may have missed the biggest upset in the history of mankind, or at least New York.

Move over, Joe Willie. Step aside, Miracle on Ice.

Give it up for Le Moyne!

Le Who?

More Coverage: Syracuse's Lousiest Day Ever

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Week in Review: PC Police on High Alert

David Whitley — 2009-11-01T16:48:00 00:00

by David WhitleyIt was not a good week if you were a fat, homosexual taco-eating cheerleader related to Sarah Palin.

All were ridiculed in one of the more politically-incorrect weeks on record. There must be a lesson we can take from the tackiness.

What was Bob Griese thinking? He joked that Juan Pablo Montoya wasn't among the top five drivers in NASCAR points because he was "out getting a taco."

Texas A&M beat Texas Tech, prompting Red Raiders coach Mike Leach to say he'd warned his overconfident players "about not listening to our fat little girlfriends."

Chiefs running back Larry Johnson twice used a slur to describe gay people. Levi Johnston, the ex-fiancé of Palin's daughter, said Palin called her Down syndrome child "retarded."

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Twenty Years Ago, One Hit Changed Two Lives Forever

David Whitley — 2009-10-28T12:00:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: Mississippi, Vanderbilt

Brad Gaines will do it again early Wednesday morning. He'll grab some Clorox and glass cleaner, toss them in the trunk of his Buick and head to a little cemetery 175 miles away.

His long, strange trip actually began 20 years ago today.

"I'll be doing it until I die," Gaines said.

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Patriots Put on a Show in England

David Whitley — 2009-10-25T21:00:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: Buccaneers, Dolphins, FanHouse Exclusive

LONDON -- A bunch of Patriots went to dinner Friday night and were mistaken for a boy band. Had they been anywhere else, that embarrassing mix up might have caused an international incident. But since England gave us the ultimate boy band, the Beatles, the Patriots graciously ate their meal.

Then they routinely devoured Tampa Bay on Sunday.

Now they head back to the States after proving what we already knew: as Tom Brady rolls, so rolls the rest of New England's band. And, ready or not, America, Brady is back in rhythm.

"I'm feeling great," he said after New England's win. "I keep rolling."

More: Check Box Score | Bills Pull Another Upset | Jets Win Big

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Week in Review: Manny Being Cloudy

David Whitley — 2009-10-25T13:24:00 00:00

by David WhitleyHot on the vapor trail of the Balloon Boy, the week's big mystery was Northwest Flight 188 overshooting its destination by 150 miles.

That one is easy to explain. Balloon Slugger was in the pilot's seat.

The FAA said the pilots lost "situational awareness," which automatically incriminates Manny Ramirez.

He has been a one-man Flight 188 his entire career. But last week his situational awareness reached rarified air. Instead of cheering his teammates on in the ninth inning, he was taking a shower as the Dodgers lost Game 4 of the NLCS.

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Patriots May Own Sunday, but Saturday Belongs to Bucs' UK Fans

David Whitley — 2009-10-24T16:30:00 00:00

by David Whitley

Filed under: Buccaneers, Patriots, FanHouse Exclusive

LONDON -- Mike Alstott's 1-yard touchdown run sparked Tampa Bay to an 84-0 win over New England Saturday.

No joke. Alstott really did score one of the red team's 14 touchdowns. The guys wearing blue jerseys had zero.

"Nil!" Paul Stewart said.

He broke out a bottle of champagne and passed it around. If ever a team deserved to savor a little success, it's the Bucs' UK fan club -- it beat the Patriots' fan club on Saturday in a flag football game. The other Bucs team was presumably watching film or sacrificing goats or whatever you do when you face that other New England team.

That'll happen Sunday at Wembley. Saturday at Richmond Park in Southwest London was the preamble. The oldest NFL fan club in Britain (the Bucs) met the fan club of England's most popular team (the Patriots).

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