Greg Couch Posts

The head of the World Anti-Doping Agency acknowledged that it's too late to punish Andre Agassi for his failed drug test from 1997, darned statute of limitations. But WADA said it still wants some punishment, anyway. Maybe for Agassi's lies to doping officials, which he admits in his book? Maybe for perjury?

Doubtful. But I knew tennis would get its pound of flesh, anyway, as Agassi has embarrassed the sport's governing bodies. What I didn't know was how fast they would get that flesh.

Or that they would take it from Yanina Wickmayer.

She was banned Thursday for a year for a doping offense. It wasn't for failing a test, or apparently even for missing one, though details still aren't out. It was because she failed to report three times to doping officials over the past 18 months where she would be.

Here we go again. How many stories like this are we going to get?

Stories of senseless tennis violence. And what do you get when this happens?

Ray Moore and George Morell know. Moore was wrestled to the ground by a cop, a knee in his back while he was cuffed, apparently bleeding. Both were arrested, and spent the bulk of the day in jail.

"There were five cop cars there,'' said Donna Morell, George's wife. "Five. My husband and Ray were in different cells all day, in solitary.''

Surely, they deserved it.

"They're in their 80s, you know,'' she said.

You're being handled, played, manipulated. I am, too.

Where is Andre Agassi? Why hasn't he come out in the past 72 hours to tell us that drugs weren't the greatest thing to happen to him, no matter what his book excerpts seem to say? Why has this man who has done so many great things with his school for disadvantaged kids, let the message just hang out there?

Drugs fun. Hate tennis. Bad relationship with Dad.

If he wanted to clear his soul, to confess to his sins, then why did he need be paid $5 million to do it.

She threatened a player, didn't try most of the year, famously threatened a line judge and was thrown out of a match.

The other thing Serena Williams did in 2009 was this:

She won the year-end No. 1 ranking. It became official Wednesday in Doha, Qatar, at the WTA Championships when Dinara Safina, the current No. 1 Williams was trying to overcome, withdrew from the tournament with a bad back. It guaranteed that Williams would finish the year No. 1 for the first time since 2002.

Two more things: She deserves it.

And it's the best thing for tennis.

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Image is everything. That what's Andre Agassi told us from the start. It has been the headline to his career, his life.

He went from the punk kid, all image and no substance, to the grown man philanthropist, creating, running and also raising funds for a charter school for disadvantaged kids.

He grew up so well, cleaned up so nicely, and won a humanitarian award in September at the U.S. Open. Now he comes back with this:

Agassi writes in his autobiography that he regularly used crystal meth on tour in 1997 when he was 27 years old. He failed the tennis tour's drug test, and then lied his way out of it by saying he had accidentally taken a drink from a glass of his assistant who, he said, used to spike his own drinks with the drug.

Why, Andre? Why did you do it? Why did you feel the need to say it? What happens to your image now?

YPSILANTI, Mich. -- Stan Parrish wins again. He won in 1986, and now he won again Saturday.

In between? Well, no. No wins as a head coach. But on Saturday, Parrish, the head coach at Ball State put an end, briefly at least, to 23 years and six days of head coaching pain.

Ball State 29, Eastern Michigan 27.

That's the last two years of Reagan, two Bushes, one Clinton and closing in on a year of Obama without leading a team to victory.

In a sport that has had a serious gambling scandal involving suspicions of match-fixing, how are we supposed to take Caroline Wozniacki's match the other day?

I'm starting to wonder exactly how many tennis matches aren't really on the up-and-up. Wozniacki, who reached the U.S. Open final, led Anne Kremer 7-5, 5-0 Tuesday at the Luxembourg Open.

And that's when Wozniacki chose to retire from the match with an injury. No broken bones. No fall. She had won seven straight games and was four points from winning.

"The injury suddenly happened," she said.

No way.

Some of the excuses from these athletes are just laughable. They thought they were just injecting vitamins in their behinds. They didn't know the ingredients in that medicine. They must have gotten it in their systems by kissing a woman who had been using the stuff at a bar.

Martina Hingis never made an excuse for failing a cocaine test. She said she never did the stuff and had no clue how it could have gotten into her system, if it really did.

So it's over for Hingis. She failed that test more than two years ago, and now her suspension is up, and it's the era of comebacks in women's tennis. I always figured she'd try again. A failed drug test was no way for a great athlete to end a career.

Two days after threatening to shove a tennis ball down her throat, Serena Williams said she would like to give a U.S. Open line judge "a big ole hug."

Unfortunately, that happy -- heartfelt? -- reunion will have to wait. The Serena line judge, whose identity has remained a secret, will not be at the WTA Tour Championships next week in Doha, Qatar.

Three weeks. That's all Andy Roddick is expected to miss with the knee injury that knocked him out of the Shanghai Masters last week in the middle of his first-round match.

It should still give him time to qualify for the season-ending ATP World Tour Finals in London in November.

"Results of the MRI [scan] showed a mild sprain of his medial collateral ligament of the left knee," said a statement on Roddick's website. "The news was very good for Andy. No surgery will be needed and Andy is expected to make a 100 percent recovery."