Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been a few hours since I verbally assaulted a loved one and flashed my piece. Elijah Dukes, everybody.
I've been living in DC for almost a year now, and I'm looking forward to maybe seeing the Nationals win a game this year. I went to 6 games last year and they didn't have the lead for a single inning. In fact, they were only not losing for 2 innings. Sad.
But this is a new year! The rebuilding years are over! Finally, DC has a team it can be proud of.
Strut, friend. Strut the strut of a man who has no business strutting. Seriously, how do you have even a morsel of swagger you scary, scary man?
Hey guys, I'm Nick, the newest writer of the Dugout. Jon and B approached me and my love of socks and asked me if I could crank out a couple Spring Dugz, and of course I obliged. The Dugout has risen to the heights of super stardom over the past few years, and I'm truly honored. Hats off to two of the most talented guys on the web.
That being said, let's give this Dugout thing a try!
Congratulations are in order for Tim Lincecum on receiving the National League Cy Young award in just his second season in the bigs. Super thumbs up. Granted the kid should be showered with rewards for playing ball in San Fran for an entire year without demanding a trade, ultimately resulting in a hostage situation and bloodshed. Tough guy, that Lincecum.
As we mentioned before, no one cares who wins this award. So that about wraps things up on this side of the jump. Click the link for a thing.
Just when Jason Giambi was becoming one of the more likeable Yankees, he goes and does something stupid like not live up to the forty billion dollar club option left on his contract. Tisk tisk.
He did steroids, admitted it (kinda), and still got to doff his cap in the final game at Yankee Stadium. That rules. I guess that's all I really saw in the guy.
Mr. Giambi and Carl Pavano both had their contracts extinguished by the Yankees yesterday, as the club options left on each of them were pricey to say the least. Giambi would have been given $22 million and Pavano $13 million, both far beyond what either can expect to make testing the waters of free agency. The front office in New York said that it shouldn't surprise anyone, but come on. When have nickels and dimes stopped the Yankees from doing anything? I'm surpised if only to make the front office wrong.
So, good luck guys. I doubt either of you will ever matter again.
I'm watching the Steelers wrap up a solid victory over the Redskins, sparing me hours of stupid Super Bowl hype at work tomorrow. That being said, Roger Clemens is a complete fool.
Keith Ellison, the district judge overseeing Roger's defamation suit against Brian McNamee, is thinking about dismissing the case entirely. This would leave him, appropriately enough, screwed without leave. And just in case you begin feeling sorry for the potential Hall of Famer, here's a Dugout to remind you that Roger played the soggy drum set with a 15 year old girl.
Am I committing slander myself by saying such things? Bloggin' knows no rules. Bloggin'.
Sup, buds? I thought the last half-game of the season would be a great time to get back on the ol' wagon. So, yeah.
How about this World Series, right? Lots of controversy and...time to talk about it. With the gap in play tonight and AOL prohibiting me from watching the NBA I was forced to watch Fringe, which sucks no matter how many people say it's interesting. I saw 3 minutes of it at halftime and was half tempted to send a letter to the writers. "How dare you."
So my prediction for the Series: They resume play tomorrow for an inning, where the Phillies take the lead, and call it after a light drizzle. Then everyone will act outraged when they really don't give a crap and Kevin Blackistone will defend the decision. Big wheel keeps on turnin'.
While I have the mic, I'd like to pimp. Drew Magary's book is awesome and you should pick it up. Loved it.
Baseball is America's pastime, but had our forefathers enjoyed the modern conveniences of clocks, ball pumps, or haste, this pastime may well have been basketball or football. Instead, they had wood, leather, and a rudderless disposition. Baseball is Boring is a series of live blogs for folks who need irony and self-awareness to get through a game.
A Baseball is Boring event! By request!
Lord of the Pastries asked me to cover a Cardinals game, so I am. God, do I wish I had taken a peek at the Cardinals' schedule in comparison to my own personal schedule before I granted this most expensive of wishes. The Pirates are in town! Smash my head in with a pair of ThunderStix(c)! THE ESSENTIALS The Pirates (56-69) start Ian Snell(4-10, 5.91 ERA). The Cardinals (70-57) start Braden Looper (11-9, 4.07 ERA).
ANALYSIS Cardinals, oftentimes seen as vicious birds, wouldn't stand a chance against a boat filled with Pirates. Pirates unleashing their Parrots upon the Cardinals? Different story.
PREDICTION Both teams play poorly enough to the point where I begin liveblogging a synopsis from a random episode of Two and a Half Men.
QUICK NOTE ABOUT THIS LIVE BLOG From here forth, my banal and worthless commentary can be read in the box below. It updates much like a one-way instant messenger conversation does, which means you do not need to keep refreshing the page. Feel free to comment in the box at the bottom -- if your sentiment is funny or poorly-informed enough, I may just post it in the blog. Enjoy!
Baseball is America's pastime, but had our forefathers enjoyed the modern conveniences of clocks, ball pumps, or haste, this pastime may well have been basketball or football. Instead, they had wood, leather, and a rudderless disposition. Baseball is Boring is a series of live blogs for folks who need irony and self-awareness to get through a game.
C.C. Sabathia has established himself as one of the best pitchers in the game, if not the best. It's uncanny how a change of scenery can light a fire under one's figurative ass, a la Manny and C.C. Hell, imagine if Babe Ruth had been traded to a team called "The Beers" or "The Adulterers". He'd still be playing.
Alas, my quest to Baseball is Boring a perfect game continues and the Nationals have the night off. I'm jinxing this on purpose and there hasn't been a single pitch. How do you flash a gang sign in text? THE ESSENTIALS The Astros (63-61) start Randy Wolf(8-10, 4.56 ERA). The Brewers (71-54) start C.C. Sabathia (13-8, 3.04 ERA).
ANALYSIS The Brewers are a deranged breed. Appearing satisfied, at times even jolly, they often offer to pick up your tab, citing half a night's worth of bonding as "eye opening". Upon closing out their footing has grown as loose as their tongue, sometimes struggling to retain balance. The check being almost three times what they had estimated, their tides quickly turn. Avoiding a fistfight with a total stranger you pay the bartender and quietly accept having a perfect game thrown against you.
PREDICTION C.C. Sabathia pitches a couple of complete game shutouts en route to a 4-0 victory.
QUICK NOTE ABOUT THIS LIVE BLOG From here forth, my banal and worthless commentary can be read in the box below. It updates much like a one-way instant messenger conversation does, which means you do not need to keep refreshing the page. Feel free to comment in the box at the bottom -- if your sentiment is funny or poorly-informed enough, I may just post it in the blog. Enjoy!
Baseball is America's pastime, but had our forefathers enjoyed the modern conveniences of clocks, ball pumps, or haste, this pastime may well have been basketball or football. Instead, they had wood, leather, and a rudderless disposition. Baseball is Boring is a series of live blogs for folks who need irony and self-awareness to get through a game.
It's been a while, but this seemed like a perfect time to bring back Baseball is Boring. We've got a 50% chance that Johan Santana is going to throw a perfect game tonight against the quasi-fetal Nationals. A National League East battle for the ages! That and I can watch the game on TV so I don't have to squint at my tiny MLB.tv BS. BS.tv.
Hey, is Dmitri Young the first guy to go to the DL for being too fat? Looks like we have our first poll.
THE ESSENTIALS The Mets (62-56) start Johan Santana(9-7, 2.85 ERA). The Nationals (44-75) start Odalis Perez (5-8, 4.10 ERA).
ANALYSIS The Nats are going to get their dinks kicked because they suck.
PREDICTION Mets over Nationals 1 Perfect Game - 0 Perfect Games
QUICK NOTE ABOUT THIS LIVE BLOG From here forth, my banal and worthless commentary can be read in the box below. It updates much like a one-way instant messenger conversation does, which means you do not need to keep refreshing the page. Feel free to comment in the box at the bottom -- if your sentiment is funny or poorly-informed enough, I may just post it in the blog. Enjoy!
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been a few hours since I verbally assaulted a loved one and flashed my piece. Elijah Dukes, everybody.
Strut, friend. Strut the strut of a man who has no business strutting. Seriously, how do you have even a morsel of swagger you scary, scary man?
Congratulations are in order for Tim Lincecum on receiving the National League Cy Young award in just his second season in the bigs. Super thumbs up. Granted the kid should be showered with rewards for playing ball in San Fran for an entire year without demanding a trade, ultimately resulting in a hostage situation and bloodshed. Tough guy, that Lincecum.
Just when Jason Giambi was becoming one of the more likeable Yankees, he goes and does something stupid like not live up to the forty billion dollar club option left on his contract. Tisk tisk.
I'm watching the Steelers wrap up a solid victory over the Redskins, sparing me hours of stupid Super Bowl hype at work tomorrow. That being said, Roger Clemens is a complete fool.
Sup, buds? I thought the last half-game of the season would be a great time to get back on the ol' wagon. So, yeah.
