FanHouse

Stinkface Chronicles: Lawson Order

Rob Peterson — 2009-11-18T11:15:00 00:00

Filed under: Cavaliers, Heat, Lakers, Nuggets, NBA Fans, NBA Videos

Some people never learn. D.J. Mbenga may be one of them.

Now, D.J. is a good guy and he makes a decent living as the backup center for world champion Los Angeles Lakers, but there's a reason he's a backup center. Besides a talent deficiency, Mbenga is not quick and therefore slow to rotate on help defense and recover on pick-and-rolls.

This often puts him in an awkward position, that position being Mbenga on a poster on his keister.

Such was the case again Friday when Nuggets rookie Ty Lawson went medieval on Mbenga.

(The pair of pliers and the blowtorch after the jump.)

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Stinkface Chronicles: Back-to-Back

Rob Peterson — 2009-11-12T14:05:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: 76ers, Bobcats, Nets, Pistons, NBA Videos

It's rare that we have back-to-back Stinkface. As a matter of fact, yesterday's Stinkface and today's are the first time we've gone back-to-back.

That's fine by us. NBA teams go back-to-back an average of 20 times a season. Far be it from us to complain about it.

Also, we have an excellent reason for our quick turnaround: Detroit's Will Bynum.

Video after the (two-footed) jump.

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Stinkface Chronicles: Iggy Popped

Rob Peterson — 2009-11-11T11:55:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: 76ers, Grizzlies, Kings, Nets, Trail Blazers, Warriors, NBA Videos

Rookies. What do they know?

Not much except that, with the per diem paid over the table in NBA instead of under it in college, they need to get the donuts before practice, carry their teammates' bags and stay out of the way of the veterans.

Oh, about that last part? The Nets' Terrence Williams, rookie out of Louisville, may need to work on it a bit.

Video after the jump.

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Allen Iverson Leaves Grizzlies Leaving Many Questions, Few Answers

Rob Peterson — 2009-11-07T23:39:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: Grizzlies, NBA Rumors

When Allen Iverson signed a contract with the Memphis Grizzlies this offseason, you just had a feeling it wouldn't end well.

If most reports from Saturday night are true, you were right.

On Saturday, the Memphis Grizzlies granted the one-time league MVP his leave from the team for personal reasons. Yahoo's Marc Spears and ESPN.com's Chad Ford have both reported that Iverson's leave is indefinite and no timetable has been set for his return.

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LeBron James' Empire State of Mind?

Rob Peterson — 2009-11-05T13:30:00 00:00

by Rob PetersonCleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert's second-worst nightmare is about to come true.

The first, of course, would be LeBron James signing with the New York Knicks (or soon-to-be Brooklyn Nets) on Thursday, July 8, 2010 with Jay-Z's and Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind" blasting as LeBron puts pen to paper in a lavish Madison Square Garden ceremony.

The second may come to fruition Friday as the Cavs are in New York to take on the Knicks. That day, LeBron's favorite little-ballclub-that-could, those spunky New York Yankees, will be taking a ride through the Canyon of Heroes to thousands of adoring fans and thousands of pounds of ticker-tape and assorted paper products.

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Stinkface Chronicles: A Brilliant Disguise

Rob Peterson — 2009-11-04T09:30:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: Jazz, Kings, Lakers, Mavericks, Nuggets, Spurs, NBA Videos

Looking back at the first week of the 2009-10 NBA season, someone missed a golden opportunity for a Halloween costume.

Wouldn't it have been great if two Lakers fans had gone as Shannon Brown and Josh Powell with the fan who was Brown holding onto a rim (a Nerf rim would have been fine) and sitting on Powell's shoulders?

"Whatever do you mean, Professor Stinkface?"

You know what I mean. Video after the jump.

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Manu Ginobili Getting Up More Shots ... All Over His Body

Rob Peterson — 2009-11-03T11:30:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: Kings, Spurs, NBA Injuries

When it comes to protecting yourself from rabies, it seems as if hand sanitizer won't cut it.

San Antonio Spurs guard Manu Ginobili -- three-time NBA champ, Olympic gold medalist, NBA All-Star, exterminator extraordinaire and scourge of PETA -- has been required to get shots for rabies, the San Antonio Express-News reports, because of his quick reflexes and a chance encounter with a bat on Saturday night:

Ginobili took four shots Monday in the hip and arm, and he is scheduled for four more such sessions over the next month. "It was pretty funny at the time," Ginobili told the San Antonio Express-News. "Now it's not. I got like a million shots for rabies."

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Former NBA Players Alan Ogg, Phil Lumpkin Pass Away

Rob Peterson — 2009-11-03T09:00:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: Heat

There's some sad news in the NBA universe today as two former NBA players have died in the past three days.

Alan Ogg, who played for the Miami Heat, Milwaukee Bucks and Washington Bullets, died at the age of 42 on Sunday. Ira Winderman of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported that the Heat had a moment of silence before Sunday's home game against the Chicago Bulls. The 7-foot-2 center was 42 years old.

In Seattle, Phil Lumpkin, who played for Portland and Phoenix in the mid-70s, was found dead on Monday morning by O'Dea High School administrators after Lumpkin didn't arrive at the school where he coached and didn't answer the phone.

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That's Horrible! Injuries Force Bill Walton To Retire From Broadcasting

Rob Peterson — 2009-11-02T15:00:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: NBA Media Watch

Some people won't think it's so horrible. As a matter of fact, some will cheer the announcement that because of back injury that was so bad he couldn't sit for long stretches, Bill Walton has announced he will give up announcing.

Walton, in a statement today: "As I return after a grueling multi-year, life-threatening, life-changing ordeal with back problems, it is time to dedicate the rest of my life to service. ... Thanks everybody -- for everything."

For many, Walton was a polarizing play-by-play man. Never one to withhold an opinion, you thought Walton either delivered verbal bon mots filled with liquid genius or that he was "theeeeeeeee worst announcer in the history of the NBA. No, not the NBA, the worrrrrrrrrrrld."

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Rockets Sneak Attack by Boat Stuns Warriors in Oakland

Rob Peterson — 2009-10-29T13:06:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: Rockets, Warriors

For the Houston Rockets, the word rocketship took on a whole new meaning on Wednesday.

Thanks (or no thanks) to a broken cable that has closed the Bay Bridge, the Rockets were faced with two choices to get from their hotel in San Francisco to Oracle Arena in Oakland to play the Warriors.

They could either take a different bridge, which would have made it a three-hour bus ride or, they could go by ferry.

Knowing that most NBA players like to arrive on the second (i.e. last) of two buses that take teams to games, guess what mode of transport they chose?

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One NBA GM and Bill Simmons Want to Give Hope to the Hopeless

Rob Peterson — 2009-10-28T16:30:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: NBA Draft, NBA Rumors

Bill Simmons is everywhere.

As an provocateur, he's burrowed under the skin of old-media types such as Mike Francesa, who don't get him.

But most new-media types -- especially handsome and talented interns -- do get him. He's the 700-pound sportswriting gorilla touting a 700-page tome, The Book of Basketball, and tweeting the tour.

Yet, more than refusing to get off the virtual lawn of curmudgeons or fomenting a fervent fan base or getting this, the third post to feature him today at the 'House, Simmons has often expressed his desire to be an NBA GM. (OK, so not every new-media type finds this endearing.)

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Stinkface Chronicles: A Lament

Rob Peterson — 2009-10-27T19:05:00 00:00

by Rob PetersonO! Acursed Clippers we feel for thee. Not a mere five days after one of the inspirations for this young series, do we see No. 1 overall pick Blake Griffin go down with an injury -- a stress fracture of the kneecap -- no one could prevent or see coming. Which is downright Clippers-ish.

(OK, so maybe it could have been prevented if the NBA played fewer preseason games.)

We feel partly responsible for this, for it was another Griffin stinkface that landed him on the shelf in the Clippers' anti-trophy case. The dunk was mighty. Griffin's kneecap was not.

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Tip-Off Timer: Oscar Is No. 1

Rob Peterson — 2009-10-26T13:00:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson Tip-Off Timer counts down the days until the first game of the 2009-10 season. On Monday, there is one day remaining.

He was known as The Big O, but all he wanted to be was No. 1.

His production was unrivaled. He put up fat numbers. Big, fat, succulent numbers; numbers so ripe and beautiful you couldn't help but stand and gawk. Of course, you know about his famous 1961-62 triple-double season (30.8 points, 12.5 boards and 11.4 dimes) and that he averaged a triple-double (30.3 ppg, 10.4 rpg, 10.6 apg) for the first five seasons of his career.

And wIth 29.3 points per game, 10.3 assists and 8.4 rebounds for the first 10 seasons of his career, Oscar Robertson was second to none in the NBA at the point guard position.

But there was another big, fat number that also defined The Big O -- 0, as in zero NBA titles. Zero, as in big, fat goose egg.

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Stinkface Chronicles: An Introduction

Rob Peterson — 2009-10-22T15:30:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: NBA Videos

Recently, Stephon Marbury hasn't inspired much except scorn for his on-court play and head-scratching for his off-court antics.

Last season, Marbury didn't give his two employers -- the New York Knicks and the Boston Celtics -- much for the $21 million he banked. But a priceless reaction he gave to a dunk six seasons ago serves as the inspiration for this series.

In 2002-03 season, Marbury teammed with a raw, rookie power forward in Phoenix named Amar'e Stoudemire. On Dec. 20, 2002, Marbury and Stoudemire worked a pick-and-roll. After a nice no-look bounce pass from Marbury, Stoudemire found himself with 15 feet of runway and only Clipper center Michael Olowokandi in his way.

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Tip-Off Timer: No. 9 Has Many Lives

Rob Peterson — 2009-10-18T09:00:00 00:00

by Rob PetersonTip-Off Timer counts down the days until the first game of the 2009-10 season. On Sunday, there are nine days remaining.

At first glance, it might appear that the No. 9 hasn't had much meaning in the NBA.

Only two Hall of Famers have worn it (the Hawks' Bob Pettit and Bobby Wanzer, who sported "09" for seven of his nine seasons with the Rochester Royals), only two teams have retired it (the Hawks for Pettit and the Suns for Dan Majerle's tan) and -- with apologies to Literrial Green and Ruben Nembhard -- most of the other 185 players to don the digit have besmirched it with little more than the sweat from pregame warmups.

Yet, upon closer inspection, it's clear the No. 9 has played a significant role in the history of basketball -- from the game's invention to its greatest player to the ball itself (which is just more than nine inches in diameter).

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Tip-Off Timer: Lakers Win 15th NBA Title

Rob Peterson — 2009-10-12T09:00:00 00:00

by Rob Peterson

Filed under: Lakers

Tip-Off Timer counts down the days until the first game of the 2009-10 season. On Monday, there are 15 days remaining.

When it comes to today's Los Angeles Lakers, there is no third way. There is no fence sitting and there are no maybes and no one says, "The Lakers? Meh. I can take 'em or leave 'em."

There is either love or hate. How do we love/hate thee?

Let us count the ways.

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