FanHouse

Thanksgiving Dinner: The NFL Edition

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-26T00:00:00 00:00

Because we're almost certain you've wondered which Thanksgiving Day favorites best represent various NFL teams. In the true spirit giving, consider it our gift to you. You're welcome.

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Beware of Football-Tackling Deer This Holiday Season

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-25T17:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: Outdoor Sports

This story has been around a while but it merits a mention nonetheless. Not only is it a cautionary tale, it's a fitting, obligatory pre-Thanksgiving warning of the perils of mixing deer and football. Even if by accident.

Last month, seven-year-old Brandon Hiles of Wintersville, OH, was playing football in his backyard when, in his words,"The deer started charging at me and then it hit me in the back of the leg and then I flipped over."

Thanks to Brandon's quick-thinking friend the deer was only credited with a tackle.

"I saw that the deer was attacking him so I hurried up, grabbed a stick and started beating it hard as I could," Wyatt Pugh, 9, said.

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Deion Sanders Talks About Goldy Gopher the Stiff-Arming Mascot

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-25T16:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: NFL Network, College Sports

Finally. Deion Sanders has weighed in on Goldy Gopher, the University of Minnesota mascot who, in his spar time, loves to mock praying players and stiff-arm kids to the ground. On Monday, I wrote that Goldy seemed a little to amped during a halftime show that included a bunch of mascots taking on a youth football team.

And now, thanks SBNation's Spencer Hall, I have Sanders' thoughts on the "Minnesota gopher ... who's dressed as a bear."

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Supreme Court Frowns Upon Impromptu 'Happy Gilmore' Tee Shots

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-25T15:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: Golf

This is surprising: a guy has a few pops at a bachelor party golf outing, decides to "Happy Gilmore" his tee shot, and ends up hitting his playing partner. Never would have guessed.

The Legal Watch Blog writes that the Supreme Court of Nova Scotia is now involved. After 15 holes of golf that included "dozens of beers, a bottle of tequila, several marijuana joints smoked 'before the third hole, 'power slides' in the golf carts and clubs smashed against trees," things somehow got worse.

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WSJ: Obama Basketball Fans Want Him to Play Less Golf

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-25T12:30:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: Current Events, Golf

In today's Wall Street Journal Elizabeth Williamson writes about one of the great mysteries of our time: "Why has Barack Obama forsaken basketball for the links?"

During the campaign we were constantly reminded of the then-Illinois senator's basketball-playing prowess (there's even this play-by-play of a pick-up game from the official Obama-Biden YouTube channel). But now that he's in office Williamson points out that golf has become his sport of choice.

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Vince Young, Jerome Boger Did Not High-Five, According to NFL

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-25T11:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: NFL

Vince Young continues to revive a career once thought dead. The third-overall pick in the 2006 draft had a fantastic rookie season, suffered through injuries and inconsistent play the next two years, and finally got a second chance after head coach Jeff Fisher begrudgingly benched 36-year-old Kerry Collins last month.

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Meet the 6-Year-Old Tackling Machine

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-25T10:15:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: Youth Sports

Nyrel Sevilla is six years old. And he plays football. And I don't mean he puts on his uniform and tiptoes around the field jumping on the pile after the play is over. He's a one-man tackling machine, wreaking havoc on other six-year-olds unlucky enough to have the ball when he shows up.

Video lunacy after the jump:

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Disgruntled Parent Hires PI in Effort to Get High School Coach Fired

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-24T15:30:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: High School

Here's a fun story of an obsessive, overbearing parent desperately trying to live vicariously through his high school basketball-playing son. John Lekas, unhappy with his son's playing time, hired private investigator Debra Hennessee to dig up dirt on head coach David Adelman in an attempt to get him fired.

Hennessee would eventually call police after Adelman had a few adult beverages (depending on who you believe, it was either five or ten beers) and decided to drive to Taco Bell. (Because, really, nothing goes better with a buzz than a passenger seat full of 89-cent burritos.)

Adelman, who blew a .14, was arrested for driving drunk, and now his lawyer is hoping to get the case dismissed on the grounds that police didn't have probable cause to stop the coach in the first place.

Via The Oregonian:

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Man Pleads Guilty to Sending Threatening Letters to Tom Coughlin

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-24T14:15:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: NFL

This seems like a bad idea at every stage of the process: some enterprising soul sent threatening letters to Giants head coach Tom Coughlin in an effort to make a few bucks.

Via the Associated Press:

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Alicia Sacramone Says She's Dating Brady Quinn

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-24T11:45:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: Gymnastics, NFL

Browns quarterback Brady Quinn has a thing for athletes. First it was soccer players and now it's gymnast Alicia Sacramone.

During the 2007 NFL Draft, as Quinn waited for nearly six hours in the Aaron Rodgers Memorial Green Room to hear his name called, then-girlfriend and former Miami of Ohio soccer player Lindy Singler loyally sat by his side as one team after another passed on the Notre Dame quarterback.

During a recent chat on the USA Gymnastics' official Web site, Sacramone openly talked about her relationship with Quinn. (Via SportsbyBrooks and Larry Brown Sports):

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High School Touchdown Overshadowed by Ridiculous Block

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-24T09:45:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: High School

The abundance of high school touchdown videos now on the internet lessens their impact (sorta like how you feel after watching a dunk contest for more than 10 minutes -- at first you're blown away by the athleticism, but after seeing some variation of the same dunk, you quickly get bored), so you're relegated to looking for absurdities within the absurdities.

And in the case of the 2009 Oregon 6A playoffs, I think we've found it.

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The Next Steelers Quarterback: A Graphical Treatment

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-24T08:30:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: NFL, Backporch Features

Word on the street is that the Steelers will be holding open tryouts for Charlie Batch's job now that he's on the shelf for six weeks. And much like last year's Byron Leftwich-Daunte Culpepper Face Off for Chaz's gig, Pittsburgh has assembled an all-star cast to assume the role of Big Ben's backup. In all likliehood, come Tuesday afternoon, the Steelers will have signed either Jeff Garcia or Cleo Lemon.

(And this, folks, will be the exact moment when we can say, without hesitation, that Pittsburgh's hopes of returning to the Super Bowl went right down the Thomas Crapper.)

Other possible (and not-so-possible) candidates after the jump.

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Patriots Still Cheating? Belichick Now Reduced to Pulling Fire Alarms*

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-23T17:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: NFL

It was two years ago that then-Jets head coach Eric Mangini ratted out the Patriots for what would become Spygate. The NFL slapped Bill Belichick with a $500,000 fine, took away one of their first-round picks, and kindly asked us to move on.

Eventually we did, but not before accusing the Patriots of cheating their way to three Super Bowl titles this decade before karma intervened by way of David Tyree.

New England became an afterthought when Tom Brady went down 15 minutes into the 2008 season, football gods and Pats-hating fans finally mollified. But it was only a matter of time before the Dark Lord found new ways to gain an advantage over opponents. And now, after some time off to regroup, Belichick is back, this time with psychological warfare. Or as the liberals would call it: subtle forms of torture.

Read on in mock incredulity:

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Goldy Gopher Runs Hard Against Youth Football Competition

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-23T16:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: College Sports, Youth Sports

Hell hath no fury like Goldy Gopher on the football field. The University of Minnesota mascot was criticized last month for mocking Penn State's Jerome Hayes during a pregame prayer. (The school later apologized on his behalf, God's wrath averted.)

Goldy was back in action this weekend, making a special guest appearance with other mascots, to take on a group of kids in an impromptu tackle football game. It was billed as the halftime entertainment for the Seahawks-Vikings get-together. Which it was. At least for Goldy.

Ridiculousness after the jump.

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Chad Ochocinco Condoms: No. 85 Has You Covered

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-23T13:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: NFL

In addition to being one of the league's best wide receivers, Chad Ochocinco is also an entrepreneur. The latest proof: during HBO's "Hard Knocks" this summer, he made reference to developing prophylactics. And on Friday he revealed the prototypes via Twitter.

Or, at the very least, the prototype of the box they will be shipped in. Probably goes without saying but just in case: not safe for work image after the jump.

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Head Coach Pulls a 'Belichick,' Yale Loses to Harvard

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-23T11:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: College Sports

The nerds in the nerdery proved that, statistically, Bill Belichick was right to go for it on 4th and 2 against the Colts last week.

Pretty sure there isn't an egghead on the planet who'd support first-year Yale head coach Tom Williams' decision to call a fake punt from his own 25 on 4th and 22 with just over two minutes to go and leading Harvard 10-7. But he did. It didn't work. And a few plays later Harvard scored to make it 14-10. Game over.

Williams explained the decision after the game:

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HausCast 37: NFL Week 11, Simmons' Twitter Ban and Long, Lost Uga

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-23T09:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: ESPN, College Sports, Sports Media, Podcast, NFL, Twitter

The FanHouse Podcast: Because bloggers are much sexier on the phone.

Hauscast returns this week and Will and Ryan talk about the Browns' perpetual death spiral, the Steelers' record-setting special teams, and how Panthers offensive coordinator Jeff Davidson is actually more detrimental to the team than Jake Delhomme.

The conversation then turns to crazy NFL owners, why ESPN decided to suspend Bill Simmons from Twitter, and the passing of Uga VII.

Talking after the jump.

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Rebuilding the Cleveland Browns: Better, Stronger, Faster

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-21T10:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL, Backporch Features

The Browns returned to Cleveland in 1999, but they have been a perennial expansion team ever since. For some reason, 2009 seems worse than previous seasons. Maybe it's Eric Mangini's blinding incompetence, or the fact that Brady Quinn is to the quarterback position what JaMarcus Russell is to the quarterback position.

Whatever, the organization that continually strives for mediocrity continues to fall woefully short. Which is why we've decided to distract ourselves from the putridity by creating a roster of non-football-playing professional athletes who would immediately make the Browns better. That's not hyperbole.

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Obama, NFL Players Take on Kids in Tag Football Game at White House

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-20T16:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: Current Events, NFL

Under the guise of the United We Serve initiative, President Barack Obama teamed up with Drew Brees, Troy Polamalu and DeMarcus Ware to school a bunch of kids in tag football on the White House's South Lawn. All in the name of stressing the importance of fitness for America's youth.

Via the press release: "In support of NFL PLAY 60, all Thanksgiving weekend games will raise awareness of the childhood obesity epidemic and showcase the NFL and its clubs' commitment to help reverse this trend."

Hey, sometimes sedentary, preteen gamers need a little tough love when it comes to actually getting outside long enough to break a sweat. Or maybe I'm overselling it a bit. Slow-motion, NFL Films-inspired video of the 90-second public service announcement after the jump:

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Maurice Jones-Drew Now Using Fantasy Football to Lure Fans to Jags Games

Ryan Wilson — 2009-11-20T14:00:00 00:00

by Ryan Wilson

Filed under: NFL

The Jaguars have always had trouble convincing people to attend games in person. Blackouts are a Sunday staple in Jacksonville, and owner Wayne Weaver has taken to throwing tarps over sections of the upper deck, MLS style, to make the stadium look less empty.

A group of local business folks calling themselves Touchdown Jacksonville are working to reinvigorate an apathetic fan base. The short-term plan is to pack the house for the Dec. 17 game against the Colts (they're calling it ... "Ultimate TEALgate"!), and running back Maurice Jones-Drew is helping with the recruitment effort. "As a team, we're enjoying the moment, and we want the city to enjoy it with us," Jones-Drew said. "If you guys are having a great time, I promise I'll have a great time. I'm going to dance and sing."

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