FanHouse

The Chronicles of Starbury: Indie Filmmaker

TheHype — 2007-11-22T07:00:00 00:00

(If you don't know why you are here, please go to the launch page for The Chronicles of Starbury.)

After watching an Italian-dubbed version of an episode of The Simpsons, you start having mad hipster cinematic urges. Thanks to the inspiration from art savant Mr. Gumble, you have produced this:

THE END

(Do you want to start over? Then go back to the beginning.)
%Gallery-10730%

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A Curveball to the Kobe Alert Level

TheHype — 2007-11-06T17:06:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: NBA Rumors

Earlier Shoals digs into an odd report that Kobe Bean may or may not consider buying Michael Jordan's old pad. Ordinarily, I would scream a big WTF for this type of rumor to be cast out there by the MSM. But thankfully, our customized Alert Chart is being used to balance out the insanity. For this latest rumor however, it might have caused the calibration to go into severe shock:

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It's Charles Barkley's Turn to Use 'Jub-Jub'

TheHype — 2007-11-01T06:30:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: NBA Media Watch, NBA Videos

To recap the latest on Sports Personalities Showing Up On Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Joe Buck was challenged to use the term "Jub-Jub" during the World Series (which he successfully completed). Now, Charles Barkley has to carry the torch. Via Jen's Free Throws, here is the transcript

Conan: "The best context is just silence..... JUB JUB."
Charles: "What is jub jub?"
Conan: "Nothing!"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure Chuck didn't say it on Tuesday's TNT jump off. So that means, ladies and gents, ears wide open for tonight's TNT Thursday! Via We're not In Bristol Anymore comes the video (at the 2:00/-3:43 mark)

Previously on FanHouse:
Conan O'Brien Invading Fox Broadcasts
Joe Buck Achieves Conan's Quest

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Kevin Garnett Explains His Competitiveness

TheHype — 2007-10-30T14:28:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Celtics, Eastern, NBA Videos, Boston, The Word

To reiterate the fact that Kevin Garnett brings it night in and night out is more or less becoming a straw man argument: there's no denying it. When we last saw Dime's interview with KG, we saw the jovial side, but in their next installment, Garnett gives us insight into how he can remain in constant attack mode: it's because he doesn't immediately befriend everyone (unlike other players that are fond of each other)

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Adidas Gets the Best Personalities

TheHype — 2007-10-24T18:40:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Celtics, Wizards, NBA Videos

Dime magazine's site has been rolling out some videos of an Adidas commercial shoot with their marquee guys, and I've got to tell you -- thus far, the interviews have been awesome. You really cannot go wrong with Gilbert Arenas talking about Brenda Haywood's (non-existant) game or Kevin Garnett displaying his love affair with the WWE. And now that Dwight Howard is part of the Adi crew, hands down, they're second to none in terms of guys making you laugh while dunking on you.

After the jump we see KG's spiritual connection with ~~N.W.O.~~ N.W.A.

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VOTML: Eazy Yi's Storyline Most Likely Be Beaten to Death

TheHype — 2007-10-19T20:22:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Bucks, Eastern, NBA Gossip, Milwaukee

NBA FanHouse walks through the Valley of the Most Likely; we shall fear no topic.

Let's go all Einstein in this mother and do us some wild thought experiments. Imagine it's January 18th, 2008 and your home team is hosting the Milwaukee Bucks. The following will be a word to word transcript of what your local game announcers will "chit-chat" about when Yi Jianlian checks in:

Play-by-Play Announcer: So this Yi guy, what have you heard about him, [insert Color Commentator name]?

Color Commentator: Boy [insert PbP guy name], let me tells ya, I've been in the NBA for 34 years and this guy just puzzles me!

PbP: Ha ha ha, oh [CC name], do go on.

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How FanHouse Deals With Kobe Rumors

TheHype — 2007-10-18T16:25:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Lakers, Western, NBA Rumors, The Word

If you were reading NBA FanHouse in the past couple of days (and I can see you!), you'd know Kobe Bryant has been on our minds. Collectively, we find that the whole "trade or no trade" white noise is getting quite insane. That is why we shall henceforth consult the following chart to help ease the pain whenever the tiniest KB8 trade rumor comes up:

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Valley of the Most Likely: Jerry Sloan Will Be Underappreciated

TheHype — 2007-10-18T14:26:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Western, Jazz, The Word

NBA FanHouse walks through the Valley of the Most Likely; we shall fear no topic.

It's kind of amazing to me that Jerry Sloan -- after 22 seasons, two NBA Finals appearances and missing the playoffs only five times -- has not won a single NBA Coach of the Year Award. Say what you will about the man's bedside manner (see patient: Andrei Kirilenko), Sloan can get results.

You saw what he did last spring. In just a few years removed from the retirement of Karl Malone and John Stockton, the coach is back in contender mode with a new crew but still doing the same exact things to win. But still, he hasn't gotten the love. The thing is, his teams are never horrible, record-wise, so maybe voters are just used to the status quo that they forget to pick him.

However, with this being VOTML, if he didn't get it last year, terrorizing the league in the first half of the season and continuing strong into the playoffs, I don't know what else can get him over the hump.

View all of our "Most Likely" previews.

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Arenas Responds to Halo Fanboys N00bz

TheHype — 2007-10-13T15:45:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Wizards, Eastern, NBA Fans, NBA Gossip

Holy goodness. In another manifesto ~~penned~~ called in by Gilbert Arenas over at the NBA.com blog, he clears the air about what constitutes cheating and what doesn't. It's a fairly long, er, actually, it's a very long read, but I'm telling you guys, it's well worth your time to go see what the fuss is about.

Since I don't want to copy the entire rant here, the gist of what Agent Arenas wants the world to know is that real cheating in Halo consists of insidious hardcore tampering giving players automatic wins includes:

Modding the XBOX
Modding the controller
Using a rubber band, illegally (shocking!)

He compares that to his "controversial" gain in experience points by bribing opponents (in the form of a free jersey of course) to lose willingly and says it's not the same. It's not cheating because it doesn't affect his ranking, since this is only superficial -- just to get a shiny eagle on his profile (NOT a euphemism). It doesn't give him a true edge in terms of the overall ranking.

And I'm going to side with Arenas in all this, because I don't own an XBOX and he's kind of my hero. Oh and because of this amazing burn:

And MC187, you get the bonus prize. This is your five days of fame. PTI picked it up and now I'm mentioning you in my blog. This is the only way you're going to get famous because it's not going to be through Halo. I looked at your rank, you aren't very good. You might not be skilled at the game, but I know what your skill is -- looking at everybody else's accounts to see who's cheating. So keep it up baby, I'm rooting for you.

That's a headshot MC187! In related news, Gil has yet to refute these past charges in video game criminality.

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The Wizards Are Break Dance Fighting

TheHype — 2007-10-08T12:12:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Wizards, Eastern, NBA Videos, Washington, DC

It's great that in lieu of practice fisticuffs, the Wiz are now battling in the form of dancing. Namely Nick Young vs. Gilbert Arenas. It's near the end of the video and even though it's not anything that can land them next to Mark Cuban on DWTS, you easily tell Young fits naturally into this group of jokesters for a fun season.

Your move Hansel. If there is a 24/7 CCTV camera on these guys, I swear to you the ratings will skyrocket. Thanks to Dan Steinberg for this gem.

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Positive Signs for Kenyon Martin's Return

TheHype — 2007-10-06T11:34:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Nuggets, Western, NBA Injuries, Denver

While someone else is getting "the surgery" for the first time, here's the flip side: a player coming back from it.

Though sometimes Kenyon Martin can exhibit a fair share of "oh crap oh crap, he's going to do something bad"-type of actions, he's actually a wonder to the basketball eyes when he's truly "on" during game time. All those ferocious dunks and blocks back in New Jersey weren't a dream, he was that good. So hell yeah I am rooting for mini-Stoudemire (re: microfracture knee surgery) to finally make a strong comeback into the league.

Thanks to early training camp reports from Rocky Mountain News and Denver Post, K-Mart played his first five-on-five in almost a year's time and looks pretty good:

"He was jumping, dunking," center Marcus Camby said of the training camp scrimmage. "If you didn't know he had surgery, you wouldn't think anything was wrong with him."

"It felt good," said Martin, who continues to rehab from microfracture surgery on his right knee Nov. 15. "Just doing all I can now. Just trying to get better, build up to Oct. 31."

Said Nuggets coach George Karl: "It was the best day for him, by far. He got through it all. He's rusty, but by looking at him, I think he surprised us and I think he surprised himself on how much he got done."

Obviously his teammates will say good things about his performance so far, but the mere idea that he's not hesitant and be all over the place after surgery is a good sign.

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Hazing Is a Lost Art for the Atlanta Hawks

TheHype — 2007-10-04T15:28:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Hawks, Eastern, NBA Gossip

Gone are the days when rookies have to strip and perform humiliating tasks as part of their initiations into the league -- wait -- I might be dreaming that up ... Anyway, as far as rookie hazing is concerned, in the hoops pro level, it seems relatively ~~tame~~ lame. I mean, baseball makes their rookies dress up as Teletubies! So what's the Atlanta Hawks' answer to that? Shakedownsports.com lets us know the crazyness: denying access to the elevators, son.

Well, it was the hazing that started Monday, when Horford was politely ordered out of an elevator by veteran center Lorenzen Wright.

"I said, 'Get off of here, rookie,' " Wright said, re-enacting the scene in the hallway outside the locker room after Tuesday's session.

"He looked back at me like he didn't want to get off. I think he had to think about it for a second. But he got off that elevator."

Oh burn! That's some hardcore humiliation right there. What's the next unbearable task Al Horford must endure? Glad you asked:

Can't drink water out of the squirt bottles, only normal bottles with the cap, and he has to twist it off himself

He's only allowed to take out one ball out of the rack at a time -- NO EXCEPTIONS

He can't use his strong arm when playing against Harry the Hawk. If he loses, he has to suit up and ride around town on a motorcycle

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Iverson Is Getting Sued

TheHype — 2007-10-04T14:33:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Nuggets, Western, NBA Fans, NBA Media Watch

It seems like when the news starts to print nice things about A.I., they immediately go "holy crap, that's an anomaly, we need to dig some dirt ASAP!" Case in point, not 48 hours after the other story about him help save lives goes up (which, as commenter Coop points out happened in way back in August) Allen Iverson is getting sued and it's fast news:

The lawsuit filed in Douglas County District Court says the Denver Nuggets star didn't come to a booked speaking engagement in August, leaving about 2,000 fans waiting about three hours at an Omaha high school.

The event promoter, Dave Chambers, says Iverson's representatives said Iverson had a family emergency but didn't give details.

Chambers and his entertainment group are seeking a refund of a $10,000 deposit plus $33,000 in special damages, including the cost of renting a plane and sending it to pick up the star in Virginia.

So alright, let me just be reasonable here regarding this story: Iverson sued (even if it's pennies for him) is a big deal and should be pointed out. The gripe I have is that mainstream media is quick to go ahead with stories that send a negative connotation of his integrity, even if there's a little thing that said he had a family emergency. But the good things he does don't get the fast recognition, *sigh*.

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The Secret to the Heat's Practice? Napping.

TheHype — 2007-10-04T00:32:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Heat, Eastern, Miami

So let me get this straight: the higher level of competition you enter, the more you'll be treated as toddler? First it was the Kings' Reggie Rules of Boredom, now, according to Chris Perkins' Inside the Heat blog, the Miami team is napping between their two-a-days practices:

Many players already slept at the AAA between training camp practices. Others drove home. But drive time is wasted sleep time. So, O'Neal came up with this solution. And it turns out he's not the most neighborly guy on the team.

"I had to tell Shaq to shut up today because he was too loud on the phone," Wade said. "I'm like, 'Man, shut up.' But that's only for the beginning, when you come in. Everybody knows that time is ticking, and you're trying to get an hour in."

Even Pat Riley joined the napping fun times, where he overslept and had to be woken up by Shaq himself. Wouldn't you love to have Diesel as your personal alarm clock? I mean, you try to hit the snooze button and all you get is a 370 pound guy starring at you ... you'd get up pretty fast.

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Step Off Batman, Allen Iverson to the Rescue

TheHype — 2007-10-02T15:52:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Nuggets, Western, NBA Fans, NBA Media Watch

Personally, anyone that still has hang ups about accepting Allen Iverson as a one of kind wonder -- as an athlete, or as an icon -- well, let's just say we can't play Scrabble on Tuesday's boys night-in. Maybe people still see how he is portrayed negatively through the media, as someone occasionally involved in misdeeds of years past.

Hopefully those days are over, as The (possibly not certified) Nugg Doctor shows us an article from the mainstream that is actually a positive piece. It's about how Iverson and a couple of his friends stopped by a car accident to help out the victims:

In addition to being upside down, the car was smoking. Iverson told his friend who was driving to slow down so they could see if anyone was in the car.

"It didn't look good," Iverson said. "I looked and seen them upside down. I said, 'Pull over. We got to see if those people are all right.' It was the right thing to do."

The people in the car, two women, got to the hospital and turned out fine. They even wrote in to a Philadelphia newspaper in part to praise AI, but also to say that all those negative stuff published aren't the whole truth. I couldn't agree more.

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FanHouse Roundtable: The Isiah Thomas Fallout Part II

TheHype — 2007-10-02T13:35:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Knicks, Eastern, New York, The Word

The MSG Legal Disaster train ain't stopping yet. Part 1 of the FanHouse Roundtable is here. And now here is Part 2: this time, it's all about the legalities! Enjoy:

Bethlehem Shoals: Has any NBA player/coach ever been disciplined for losing a civil suit?

Tom Ziller: Can't recall. But as far as coach punishment goes, Eric Musselman got two games for a first-offense DUI last year. Apples and oranges, but it's all fruit.

Miss Gossip: No it's not all fruit! I don't think anyone has been punished for losing a civil trial, but I'll do some recon.

If they *have* been, I think that's pretty harsh. A civil suit does not mean much. You are found "liable" in a civil suit based on a "preponderance" of the evidence (in other words, 51%). Being found guilty at a criminal trial is based on the "beyond a reasonable doubt" standard, which is basically 99%.

Shoals: Chris Sheridan thinks it's a burden of proof issue, and points out that he's suspended Melo with less due process than is present in a civil trial. Or something.

Miss Gossip: Melo was on-court, and a player. Completely different because it is covered under the Collective Bargaining Agreement.

mjd: I believe in eye-for-an-eye justice. Stern should spend the next 12 months pressuring Isiah Thomas into having sex with Stephon Marbury in the backseat of the Knicks Groove Truck.

Tom Ziller: Gossip, what do you think the league should do? Just shake a finger at MSG? Take MJD's suggestion?

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FanHouse Roundtable: The Isiah Thomas Fallout Part I

TheHype — 2007-10-02T12:30:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Knicks, New York, The Word

While you're enjoying FanHouse's full coverage of the MSG Legal Disaster and its unfortunate conclusion for one Mr. Thomas, the crew here at the NBA FanHouse got together and went over what this will mean for Isiah, the Knicks, the league and David Stern's increasing blood pressure. Here is Part 1:

Bethlehem Shoals: So is this good for the Knicks?

TheHype: YES. And good for humanity. It feels weird to finally have a rightful punishment for Zeke after all the things he's messed up on

mjd: The only good thing is that it's finally over ... I don't know how having the the head coach/general manager, the starting point guard, and the team owner all exposed as sleazeballs, and then losing millions (or whatever it ends up being) could be considered a good thing. I'd argue that the whole thing isn't disastrous, because sports fans generally don't care a great deal about social injustices taking place in the front office ... but good? I don't see it.

I don't know, man. Clearly, Isiah's boss doesn't think Isiah was in the wrong, and he'll still have his job. And if the Knicks happen to make the playoffs this year, all will be forgotten and forgiven.

Tom Ziller: This has to be considered a disaster for the team and league. Essentially, the jury is saying they believe all those awful things Anucha said Isiah and others did/said... even after MSG employee after MSG employee got up to the stand and denied them. Fans may not really care about social injustices from guys who aren't on the court... but when a public figure (and Isiah is pretty much the star of the Knicks right now, for whatever reason) says "I don't give a f--- about these white people" when talking about season ticket holders -- that's going to stick with people. The jury finding him guilty makes it a lot worse.

If the Knicks make the playoffs this season, I'll name my first-born Renaldo Z-Bo Ziller. (If that happens, I really hope my first-born is a boy.)

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More Knee Troubles: Spencer Hawes

TheHype — 2007-10-02T10:25:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Kings, Western, NBA Injuries

This probably is not as serious as Greg Oden's season ending problem. And it hopefully (for the Kings' sake) is not going to be require surgery like Amare's recent trouble. However, Sactown rook Spencer Hawes' little spin is seriously making me think there's a knee-goblin out there ruining NBA lives.

From Sam Amick of the Bee:

The rookie center, who was picked No. 10 overall out of Washington, is not expected to participate in the Kings' first practice today after twisting his left knee Thursday during conditioning at the team's practice facility.

Hawes had an MRI on Friday that was inconclusive, and Kings basketball president Geoff Petrie said more should be known in the "next couple of days." Asked if there was even a rough timeline for Hawes' recovery, Petrie said Hawes still was being evaluated.

Too early to call this an epidemic? We might need to get a shaman on hold, just in case.

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Timberwolves Living Large in Istanbul

TheHype — 2007-10-02T09:58:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Timberwolves, Western

I just love how the NBA is going all over the world for exhibition games. It's just like The Bourne Identity, but instead of espionage and car chases, it's playing basketball and eating good food ... so ... it's nothing like The Bourne Identity.

Back on point: T-Wolf forward Ryan Gomes is keeping a 10 day diary with the Star Tribune and it's fun to see his takes on a different part of world that's probably very different from what he's used to:

"Our hotel is like staying in a castle. It reminds me of reading about the ancient times of Western civilization back when I was in school. You can see the river from our rooms, and you can sit out on the balcony and watch all the boats going back and forth [from one continent to the other]. [...]

"We haven't met too many of the Turkish people yet, but it's Ramadan here and in the morning you can hear the call to prayers. It just echoes. It's nothing like anything I've ever heard before." [...]

"And it's good food, too: Fresh fruit, grilled chicken, fish, pasta. I think it gets two thumbs up compared to what we might have expected." [...]

Maybe Ryan and Matt Damon can team up for Bourne 4: Offensive Rebound Terror.

(via TWolvesBlog.com)

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Gilbert Arenas Is Gazo The Pranksta

TheHype — 2007-10-01T17:28:00 00:00

by TheHype

Filed under: Wizards, Eastern, NBA Fans, TV and Movies

So there we have it, via once again by Sports Bog's actual journalistic duties (showoff!) Dan got the scoop on what Gilbert Arenas' cartoon will really look like. It will look like something in the above picture.

"I mean, they're pranksters," Gilbert said of the show's heroes. "It's a prankster. Don't get me wrong, it's a Dennis the Menace, but it's a group, it's kids, it's what goes on in high school. So if you can imagine anything that went in high school, I already thought about it, and it's going to be in there."

"I've just got random kids," he said. "It's not the superstars of the League, I mean, the school. You know, like, when you go to school, it's the average group. It's not the "In" class; it's the "Out." But at the end of the class, there's more Outs than there are Ins, so while the Ins think they're running the school, it's really the Outs."

Gazo The Pranksta cannot publish episodes fast enough. Be sure to read the rest of Steinz' entry for other juicy parts. A couple things I'd like to comment on after the virtual jump.

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