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On Friday, the Braves celebrated Greg Maddux's election into their Hall of Fame by throwing a luncheon in his honor. Baseball fans, of course, recognize him as one of the greatest pitchers of all time. However, he's about as much of a pop-culture presence as Hideki Irabu (Maddux pieced together a shoo-in Hall of Fame career as quietly as possible; Irabu was mentioned in the series finale of Seinfeld).

I'd venture to guess that Maddux isn't bothered by this in the least. He humored his peers, but I suspect that he spent the entire luncheon silently reciting the Periodic Table of Elements to himself, or trying to remember whether Calvin Coolidge died before or after Herbert Hoover.

A Dugout in honor of Greg Maddux is after the jump. Greg Maddux is ambivalent.

Have you seen the commercial for this year's All-Star Game yet? If not, here's a brief summary. A hand comes out of the sky and pulls the Gateway Arch out of the ground. It turns out that the Gateway Arch is a magnet that can attract baseball players and fans to it. (A special magnet.) The hand moves it all around America, picks up a bunch of people, then dumps them all on the Busch Stadium turf while Albert Pujols stands there and scowls. It's amazing.

It takes a minute to watch, but an eternity to comprehend. Fortunately, The Dugout's Speculation Station is here to help. Your Dugout is after the jump, and so is the video.

This photo was taken Wednesday. Upon signing with the Mariners, Ken Griffey, Jr. instantly manifested as his twenty-year-old self, grew his old "Carlton from Fresh Prince" moustache, and donned a baseball cap that looks as though it were first worn by a giant Lego man.

Griffey, a childhood hero of every twentysomething baseball fan, re-joined the team we've always associated him with, and did so after taking the advice of the great Willie Mays. I'm a Braves fan, and in the face of all this storybook nonsense, I can't really muster much disappointment. It's going to be great. Griffey will hit 53 home runs this year. This evening's Dugout is after the jump.

Yesterday, our own Josh Alper (screen name HamburgerAlper) related journeyman pitcher Hideo Nomo's retirement. Within, he made a point to observe Mr. Nomo's brief statement:

"Retiring. July 17, 2008. I announced my retirement from my playing career."

Hideo Nomo, droppin' beat-poet science.

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

The first meeting of The Dugout's Speculation Station was met with considerable success. Its panelists -- Brian Bannister, Carlos Delgado, and Chipper Jones -- contributed their thoughts in a (largely) rational and orderly manner, and as a result, a greater understanding was grasped of the item at hand.

Today, The Speculation Station turns its curious and objective gaze toward a 1988 commercial for the Nintendo Entertainment System's R.B.I. Baseball. Let's wish our thoughtful participants well as they attempt to digest and understand this material!

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

Anyone who has watched a local Cincinnati Reds broadcast is familiar with the JTM commercial that plays at least every other commercial break. It features Bronson Arroyo singing a song about frozen food products, and it is tremendous. With commercials like these, a simple pithy remark just will not cut it. Oh, no.

That's why I have decided to assemble the Speculation Station, a tribunal that gives special attention to things like this. Video of the commercial, as well as tonight's Dugout, are after the jump.