FanHouse AndersonHernandez

You decide to break free from Scott and sign a modest, three-year, $68 million deal with Washington. And you're so glad you did. You single-handedly shift the balance of power in the NL East, and team with Cristian Guzman, Ryan Zimmerman and Josh Willingham to create the best lineup in the league. You even forge friendships that will last a lifetime. Anderson Hernandez becomes your best friend, partly due to the fact that you can fit him in your pocket.

But you come home after a long road trip and you stop at Nationals Park to pick up some things. Among your fan mail, you find a crate addressed to you from "a friend." You open it, and you're horrified to find your buddy, Anderson Hernandez, frozen in carbonite.

"Boras!"

You rush out of the clubhouse, pushing the Nationals' traveling secretary out of the way to find your nemesis, who's in an oxygen bar, where the final battle begins. You get your hand cut off by Boras' light saber, which he bought at Brookstone.

"Come back, young Manny. Let me engineer a trade out of here. We can fit you with an artificial hand and you'll still hit .300 ... I can get you riches!"

"I'd rather die than come back to you. Besides, you killed my father!"

"No Manny, I am your father."

"Noooooooooooo!"

With that, you are pushed into an abyss and sucked into an air vent, only to be jolted by a hard landing where you find yourself ...

... in bed. It was all a dream. Your free agency has not been compromised.

Negotiate with the Angels

... or ...

Negotiate with the Yankees

... or ...

Negotiate with the Red Sox

... or ...

Negotiate with the Dodgers

(Not sure how you got here? Start Choose Your Own Adventure: Manny Being Choosey in Free Agency from the beginning.)

The Mets were hoping to get injured closer Billy Wagner back this week. Unfortunately, he reported stiffness and pain in his elbow after throwing off the mound in Pittsburgh this weekend, pushing his return back to ... well, no one knows. All anyone knows for sure is that he's not coming off the DL today.

But relax, Mets fans! To bolster the bullpen, the front office picked up Luis Ayala from Nationals! Jerry Manuel sounds pleased. From Anthony Rieber of Newsday:

"The two innings the other day that we faced him, he threw strikes, attacked the hitters," manager Jerry Manuel said. "I kind of expect the same thing."

Umm ... Jerry? Are you really happy to pick up the Nationals' scraps? Can two good innings last week outweigh the 1-8 record and 5.77 ERA (6.97 since the All-Star break) he's posted over 57 innings the entire season?

When told of Ayala's record and ERA, Manuel said: "Oh, man."

That's right, folks The power of sample size strikes again. Sarcasm aside, no one expects Ayala to be a savior -- all he cost the Mets was the infamous Player to Be Named, whom Reiber outs as the extremely expendable Anderson Hernandez, who's currently hitting .203 for Triple-A New Orleans. If Ayala can simply eat a handful of innings and absorb his nightly beating without giving up the lead, the trade will be worth it.

Major League Mongering will look at players rumored to be on the move between now and the July 31st pseudo-trade-deadline.

Now that the Mets have lost Jose Valentin for at least six weeks thanks to a broken right tibia, they find themselves a little short at second base. Willie Randolph seems to think that Ruben Gotay, Anderson Hernandez, and Damion Easley can fill in, but there's a better option in Kansas City.

Omar Minaya is aware of it too.

Royals veteran Mark Grudzielanek is believed to be on a short list of second basemen eyed by the New York Mets as a possible replacement for injured Jose Valentin.

The Mets showed interest in Grudzielanek as a free agent after the 2005 season before opting to sign Valentin. Grudzielanek signed four days later with the Royals.

Grudzielanek would be an upgrade over any of the Mets options right now. He's the reigning AL Gold Glove winner at second base, so he'll fit in seamlessly with Jose Reyes, and he's a .300 hitter.

If the Mets were to get Grudzielanek, they could place him in the second spot of the lineup where he's just about a perfect fit. He very rarely strikes out, and he'll be able to make sure Jose Reyes gets to second or third without having to steal a base if need be. He'll also get on base a lot himself making sure there are runners on when Carlos Beltran, David Wright, and Carlos Delgado come up to the plate.

It's not going to completely solve the Mets problem in their starting rotation, but Grudz's addition would make an already potent offense even more dangerous, and take more pressure off of the Mets pitching staff.

When I was young I used to send glossies and cards to many athletes hoping to get them signed. Most did, some didn't. Of the ones that didn't return, most of those have been athletes of higher stature than light hitting second baseman Anderson Hernandez. If you had done the same when you were young, or if you have children that send baseball players cards in hopes to be signed, then what you're about to read is disappointing, and slightly upsetting:

The young infielder pulled a large garbage can up next to his locker. Seated on a stool, he spread the mail out on another stool and meticulously tore open each envelope.

With his right hand he shook each piece of mail and let the baseball cards inside -- cards that had his photo on them -- float to the clubhouse floor. Without even glancing at the remaining contents of the envelope, he quickly tossed it into the trash -- stamped, self-addressed, return envelope and all. Then it was on to the next one.

The baseball cards were collected from the floor later, once the rest of the mail had been discarded, and stored in his locker. Only Anderson Hernandez, who failed to survive the Mets' final roster cut and is headed for Triple-A New Orleans, knows why he refused to answer his fan mail. An otherwise nice young man with limited command of the English language, the 24-year-old Hernandez shook his head and declined to comment when asked about his behavior.

So why did Anderson Hernandez fail to answer his mail? Was he hoping for money in the envelopes? Is he keeping the cards to sell on eBay to supplement his salary now that he's going to New Orleans? Is he so worried about the environment that he decided to quickly recycle the paper to help stem global warming? Or does Anderson Hernandez not like children?

You do like children ... don't you? Anderson?