FanHouse ArtSchlichter

NFL.com is widely known for some pretty stringent practices regarding what customized jerseys it will allow to be made. For instance, you most certainly cannot make a "Ron Mexico" jersey. No how, no way.

The newest name on the computer's banned list? "Harris Smith," Plaxico Burress' Applebee's alias (and an early runner for "2009's Most Widely Abused Fantasy Football Team Name"). At least that's what NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy told Central Main Sports in response to their "Why can we still purchase a Rae Carruth jersey?" question.

"There are a number of jerseys that fans may not order online, including the ones you cite below (Michael Vick, Harris Smith, Ron Mexico, Lawrence Phillips). Those names are blocked immediately by a computer program which (unfortunately) is not all inclusive and may miss names from time to time. So a fan could type in names on the screen which would make it appear that he/she could purchase it. However, if a fan followed through with an order and attempted to purchase the jersey of a player like you named, we would catch it manually and would not make the jersey or ship the order. The fan would receive a notice that the order would not be fulfilled. Bottom line, you would not be shipped a jersey with the names you cited (Rae Carruth, Art Schlichter, OJ Simpson)."

So, yeah, the NFL is pretty lame AND predictable. Frankly, I'm of the opinion that it shouldn't really matter whatsoever if you want to put a convicted criminal or a fake herpes name on the back of your jersey that costs $200 freaking dollars to order. And I'm not even the poor, real Harris Smith who just wants a No. 17 Giants jersey.

Although it's not set in stone that Michael Vick will spend time behind bars, former Ohio State Buckeyes quarterback Art Schlichter has decided to give him some advice anyway.

"I would advise Mike to go in with a lot of humility," Schlichter said. "I'd advise him to try to be like everyone else.

"If you walk in there expecting to get special treatment from the inmates or the guards, you're going to be disappointed. They don't take kindly to that. What I tried to do was keep my mouth shut and get to know some people I wouldn't normally have had the chance to meet. I kept my head down most of the time."

Given the company Vick has decided to keep throughout his life, you can bet he's already heard this speech. However, if there is another person qualified to give his advice, it would certainly be Schlichter. Although the circumstances weren't quite the same, Schlichter's 10 years in prison are the closest thing Vick will have to relate to if and when those metal doors slam behind him.

Inmates have a different code of laws behind those walls. Gambling is one offence, probably overlooked by most inmates, whereas killing dogs for fun may be entirely different in the majority's eyes.

What Vick faces is something that most of us could never fathom, so he had better take all the advice he can get. Humility could be his best friend if he does eventually get sentenced to prison time.

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