FanHouse BeverleyHillsCop

Mike Modano, a.k.a. Mr. Willa Ford, enters tonight's Dallas Stars game against the Phoenix Coyotes needing one point to tie the record for most points by an American-Born player (1,232). I'm rooting for Modano to get the record, because the guy is having, like, the worst week ever. Here's a quick glimpse into the poopie life of the Dallas star these days:

• In order to motivate Modano, and the rest of the struggling team, Dallas coach Dave Tippett dropped the 37-year-old to the fourth line. "Too much circling and not enough stopping and starting, which is what it takes to get the puck in tough areas and score goals," writes Jean-Jacques Taylor, a sports columnist for The Dallas Morning News who opined on the matter this week.
• As Jes Golbez reported on FanHouse, Modano appeared to have tied the record on Wednesday night only to have the assist taken away by the official scorer. Cat and the Untypical Girls have had enough of this emotional roller coaster:

  They interviewed Modano on the post-game show, and the Untypical Girls all almost started crying, because he looked so sad. We all exclaimed that we wanted to give the poor guy a hug and reassure him that he's still great, and that we want it over with too, but we still love him.

• Oh yeah, about that record: No one gives a damn about it, according to Tim MacMahon of the Dallas Stars Blog. "I'm really wondering if anybody around these parts gives a fig that Mike Modano is about to become the all-time leading American-born scorer," he writes. "A fig?" Sounds like one of those faux-expletives you hear when they try and show "The Breakfast Club" or "Beverly Hills Cop" on commercial television.
• Finally, the indispensable KB reports that Sportsnet's Bill Watters made some allusion that Modano's "relationship with the organization deteriorated this past summer, when he failed to invite any of his Dallas teammates, coaches or front-office personnel to his wedding." That wedding being to singer/actress Ms. Ford, pictured right, so life can't be all that bad for Mikey.

Things could be turning around for Modano. The Stars are expected to start 23-year-old minor league reinforcement Chris Conner on Modano's line -- an energy player who matched well with him during the preseason, according to The Dallas Morning News. So the record could be coming soon, and when it does I believe that's a reason to celebrate Modano -- no matter what those bastards in Nashville think.