NEW YORK -- It still seems weird, if you can remember back before it all changed -- back before "Cowboy Up" and Aaron Boone and the Idiots and the Bloody Sock and all that went down between the Yankees and the Red Sox right around the middle part of this decade. If you can remember back that far, it feels weird that the Red Sox have become the model franchise and the Yankees are just yapping at their heels, trying their best to become everything their rivals already are.
But then you watch a game like the one they played Monday night at Yankee Stadium and you realize that's exactly what's going on here. The Yankees spent the night whining about the umpires, accusing the Sox of stealing signs, committing errors and passed balls and walking everybody in sight. The Red Sox spent it winning the game. And as they so often do these days, they outclassed the Yankees in almost every possible way.
BOSTON -- We are barely into a 54-round, bare-knuckle cage match, in which at least one participant will be knocked out, and it looks like a doozy.
The Tampa Bay Rays and Boston Red Sox opened the season with a three-game series that was nearly suffocating in its relentless intensity and drama.
"It's mentally draining when you've got to stay as high intensity as we do against the clubs in our division," Tampa Bay's Evan Longoria said after the Rays took Thursday's rubber game. "It's always nerve-wracking here getting the last three [outs]."
Join host Mel Allen as he takes a look back at the stories that mattered in the world of Major League Baseball this week on "This Week in Baseball," conveniently presented in the form of a chatroom transcript for those of you reading AOL Sports' "Fanhouse" blog, and presented in HD on certain cable systems you live nowhere even close to getting.
Kyle Farnsworth getting suspended for ANYTHING is Dugout-worthy news, much less getting suspended for throwing a fastball at Manny Ramirez's head. I don't know if he deserved the three-game suspension. I also don't know if he purposefully pitched at Manny's head, but honestly a part of me would be pretty disappointed if he didn't. We came up with your nickname before your announce team did, you might as well do something for our benefit every now and then. He should've thrown the ball at Manny's head, and while Manny was reacting Kyle should've ran up and tried to punch him.
Today's Dugout is the undoubtedly true story of what happened before, during, and after the at-bat. Inside this Dugout you will hopefully find a snippet of dialogue (unfortunately) lacking in misplaced curse words but still ridiculous and unnecessary enough to replace "go rerish" as the thing we're most remembered for. I don't want to be solely remembered as the "go rerish" guy. I mean, I didn't even come up with that. Some oriental guy did!
hold onto your butts; Big Country vs. Manny, after the jump.
This week, God decided to pull off the most illogical series of events since the time he put Fabio on a roller coaster in Virginia and had him be the only person on the ride to get hit in the face by a bird. In case you haven't heard, the Orioles won two games!
I'm just kidding (Go O's!). At Fenway Park, a 13 year old girl named Alexa Rodriguez was attacked by a hawk. It's really her fault, though, because the hawk clearly asked for her to "put it on the boaaaaard, e-yes!" Or perhaps she was holding a can of corn. Whatever happened, it was weird, and just another one of those times when the fates lean down from mythology to whisper, "here you go" to The Dugout.
Find out where the hawk came from (and why it attacked) after the jump.
The Fanhouse's look at the day's most intriguing matchups
Chicago Cubs (3-6) vs. Cincinnati Reds (6-4)-1:05PM Est.
He's only nine games into his tenure as manager of the Chicago Cubs and Lou Piniella is already tired of his team. After the way Big Z and the pen blew yesterday's 5-0 lead it's pretty obvious that no matter how much money they spend, or who they bring in to manage, they're still the Chicago Cubs. I can't wait until Rich Hill gets into trouble and Piniella comes to the mound. "What's wrong, Skip?" Piniella then rips Hill's heart out and bites into it. "Nothing."
Pittsburgh Pirates (4-6) vs. San Francisco Giants (3-7)-7:05PM Est.
Barry sure did have a happy homecoming to Pittsburgh on Friday didn't he? Two home runs, four RBI, and a Giants romp. If Barry played the Pirates everyday he'd catch Hank Aaron by Thursday. This game will also be Barry Zito's third attempt to get his first win as a Giant. So far he's making $15.59 million for every point on his 8.08 ERA. Also, as far as the Pirates are concerned, remember when they were 3-0 and in control of the NL Central? Boy, those were the days.
Boston Red Sox (5-4) vs. Los Angeles Angels (6-5)-FOX 3:55PM Est.
Something tells me that sitting around all week hearing nothing but talk of Daisuke Matsuzaka will arouse the fire that's dormant in the innermost recesses of his soul. So I'd expect a very philosphical performance from the pitcher turned blogger this afternoon. Hector Carrasco will make the start for the Angels in place of Kelvim Escobar as the Angels continue to rack up injured starters like Britney does new wigs.
The Fanhouse's look at the day's most intriguing matchups
Boston Red Sox (3-3) vs. Seattle Mariners (2-1)-2:05PM Est.
It's Opening Day at Fenway Park as Josh Beckett and the Boston Red Sox take on the Seattle Mariners. For Seattle, Jeff Weaver makes his debut in a Mariners jersey. Of course, I don't think Mariners fans care who starts for their team. They're just happy they're finally going to see their team play a game after losing an entire weekend in Cleveland. The only question is whether or not Mike Hargrove will be able to convince the umpires to call the game should Seattle be losing in the fifth inning.
Cleveland Indians (2-1) vs. Los Angeles Angels (5-2)-7:05PM Est.
For the first time in nearly ten years there will be an American League game played in Milwaukee. Much like the Mariners, Cleveland has been sitting around on their butts while eleventy thousand feet of snow fell all around them. Will Grady Sizemore be able to keep the torrid pace he started the season at after taking nearly a week off? Against Ervin Santana it won't be easy, as Santana and C.C. Sabathia make up one of the day's most interesting pitching matchups.
Atlanta Braves (5-1) vs. Washington Nationals (1-6)-7:35PM Est.
The Braves received some bad news on Monday when they learned they were going to have to live without Mike Hampton this season. The good news is, things seem to be working just fine without him anyway. As if taking two of three from the Mets to gain an early lead in the NL East wasn't enough, now they get to feast on the Nationals! Sometimes life just isn't fair.
I'm all for alternative medicines. If you find something that helps your frame of mind or gives you a physical advantage, and is also legal (are you listening, Gary?), well, more power to you.
Sitting atop Tavarez' shelf in his locker yesterday was a dented, former water bottle containing a slimy, muddy liquid that smelled like turpentine, camphor oil and chili peppers. Every day of the season (from spring training on), ever since he became a professional pitcher, Tavarez has been pouring out a palm full of the liquid into his plastic glove-covered left hand and then smearing and slathering it up and down his bare right arm, from the wrist all the way to behind his shoulder, before putting on his uniform.
See, rubbing snake oil on your arm is, well, interesting is one way to put it. Weird is another. Borderline freaky? That works. Julian?
"I think it's stupid - in the meantime, I don't think it is," he said, pointing to his head and smiling sagely. "A lot of guys don't use anything to get loose quickly, but I use this. It's mental. You know what, this is my 12th season in the major leagues and, knock on wood, you don't see any surgery for me."
Tavarez also uses a variety of other gunk, including some gross goo that he rubs on himself to keep him warm, as well as B12 shots, benzoyl, and anti-inflammatories. Tasty.
He also keeps a sacrificial chicken in his locker, and prays to heal his "sick" bats when they "cannot hit curveball." Wait, that's Pedro Cerrano. My bad.
International Pastime will look at baseball's influence outside the U.S. This is the first ever post in the series. Hooray!
In the wake of his moderately dominating debut performance yesterday, here's a Dice-K commercial from Japan. It's a neat little spot, sort of a dream sequence of all of the things that probably run through Daisuke's mind every time he suits up to pitch. Interesting stuff.
It wasn't exactly hitter's weather in Kansas City yesterday (and I guess it wasn't pitcher's weather, either) but Daisuke Matsuzaka pitched pretty darn well in Boston's 4-1 victory against the Royals. In seven innings of work, he only issued one walk, he fanned 10 and gave up a scant six hits.
No fewer than 19 photographers gathered behind home plate for Dice-K's warm-up pitches before the bottom half of the first inning, just part of a media contingent that numbered at least 200.
Again, I approach this performance the way I did in regards to Dice-K's spring outings -- with cautious optimism. Sure, this was a stellar start in a media-swarmed event. And yes, Dice-K has proven his vast array of pitches is a hard thing to combat if you're at the plate against him. But it's early. Very, very early. And it was the freaking Royals, after all.
NEW YORK -- It still seems weird, if you can remember back before it all changed -- back before "Cowboy Up" and Aaron Boone and the Idiots and the Bloody Sock and all that went down between the Yankees and the Red Sox right around the middle part of this decade. If you can remember back that far, it feels weird that the Red Sox have become the model franchise and the Yankees are just yapping at their heels, trying their best to become everything their rivals already are.
BOSTON -- We are barely into a 54-round, bare-knuckle cage match, in which at least one participant will be knocked out, and it looks like a doozy.
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I'm all for alternative medicines. If you find something that helps your frame of mind or gives you a physical advantage, and is also legal (
It wasn't exactly hitter's weather in Kansas City yesterday (and I guess it wasn't pitcher's weather, either) but Daisuke Matsuzaka pitched pretty darn well in 
