FanHouse Brendon Fevola

When you're famous, anything goes, and that includes hitting females with a fake penis while moseying around the business district in Melbourne.

Australian Football Player Brendon Fevola, obviously wired with a different style of humor than me and my friends, was just walking around Fed Square in Melbourne, Australia on Monday wearing pink lingerie and a sex toy strapped around his waist. You know, for the fans.

Carlton AFL star Brendan Fevola has escaped without even a slap on the wrist after he flung a fake penis at women near Melbourne's CBD yesterday. Police spokeswoman Mia Paterson said they were not investigating the incident because no one had issued a complaint.

"Fev had a foot-long dildo hanging out of his pink muu-muu in full public view outside the bar," said a witness who asked not to be named. "I saw him hit a couple of girls on the head with it. It was a bit off-putting."

Ah yes, in years to come, when robots take over the planet Earth and we are all subjected to slavery, the conversations will turn to the good old days when we could just roam the streets hitting girls with dildos. These acts will never die in our hearts.

Lucky for everyone still reading this story, there is actually a short video of the event someone captured on their cell phone. This is the first time I've ever been excited cell phones have the video feature. It is after the jump, and be warned, it is NSFW (or Thanksgiving dinner).