Posts tagged BretBielema at FanHouse

Every Thursday, Pickin' On the Big Ten breaks down action across the conference.

RIGHT: Brian Hartline, the harbinger of Spartan doom.

Look, I tried to warn you. I told you last week that Michigan State just didn't have enough defense to contain the Buckeyes. The only thing that shocked me about the outcome of that game was how easy it was for Ohio State. Clearly, I failed to consider the possibility that ur-conservative Jim Tressel might start letting Terrelle Pryor throw deep. Clearly, neither did Mark Dantonio, who probably went into his office after the game and knocked all the stuff off his shelves.

Tressel did it the way you're supposed to do it. He used the running abilities of Pryor and Beanie Wells as bait. Once the Spartans were forced to stick close to the line of scrimmage lest they give up another 20-yard (or more) run, Pryor hit Brian Hartline on a 56 yard pass. That marked the official beginning of the "we don't know what to do next" phase for Sparty. Enter fumbles and interceptions; exit, Sparty's hopes of being a dark horse.

The Spartans get to recoup against a doddering Michigan team which once again wasted a good half of football in order to become the latest thing stuck to the bottom of Joe Paterno's shoe. The Buckeyes move on, too, for their second Clash of the Titans remake of the season.

These are unsteady days here in Wisconsin. The Badgers are on a three-game skid which includes a loss to Michigan that grows less explicable every week. The Brewers made the playoffs for the first time since the early years of the Reagan administration, only to get blown out by the Phillies. Worst of all, last week Aaron Rodgers got hurt on the same day Brett Favre threw for six touchdowns.

The Badgers are a team in disarray. A month ago they were a consensus top-ten team and people were praising them for a gutty win over Fresno State. A month ago nearly everyone thought that Bret Bielema's team was the only thing standing between Ohio State and the Big Ten title. A month ago, everybody was wrong about the Badgers.

Blame is like fruitcake: Somehow, it always seems like there's more than enough to go around. This week's designated hate sink is woebegone quarterback Allan Evridge. He was beyond dreadful last night. His first touchdown run as a Badger (he started his career at Kansas State, where Bielema used to coach) was nullified by his passing statistics: 2 of 10 for 50 yards. One touchdown. One interception. No wonder the UW faithful cheered backup Dustin Sherer when he came in halfway through the third quarter.

Every Thursday, Pickin' On the Big Ten breaks down action across the conference.

RIGHT: Let's face it, this is what everybody's talking about in the Big Ten this week.

We're now two weeks into the conference season and already things are starting to sort themselves out. It's clear that Penn State and Ohio State are going to duke it out for the conference title and a Rose Bowl berth, unless Penn State wins out and gets some help from the Big XII and SEC. It's clear that Illinois, Michigan State, and (probably) Northwestern constitute the conference's second tier. Just below them, put Minnesota (gadzooks, how long has it been since you could put the Gophers ahead of anybody in this conference?) and ... yeesh. Is Minnesota all alone in the third tier?

That leaves us with five teams who right now are fighting for one bowl slot, unless two Big Ten teams wind up in the BCS. Early estimates would favor Wisconsin, though it's starting to look like the Badgers may have been overhyped. (I'll save you the trouble, SEC fan: "All teams in the Big Ten are overhyped!" Oh, look, none of your teams have beaten Vanderbilt!)

Iowa is a strange case, as usual. The Hawkeyes have been more unlucky than awful in their three-game skid, but there aren't any easy games left, except maybe this week. Purdue, Indiana, and Michigan? Stink, stank, and stunk.

Every Thursday, Pickin' on the Big Ten breaks down action across the conference.

ABOVE: Wisconsin's Jonathan Casillas couldn't catch the above quarterback, who is not John Elway. Perhaps if Casillas had a motorized vehicle of some sort ...

Okay, I know it's still quite early in the season, but I think we've seen the Horrible Pants-Blasting Loss of the Year. Not to take anything away from the Wolverines, but when you look at the box score from last Saturday's Wisconsin/Michigan game, you can't help but come away thinking, "How on Earth did the Badgers lose that game?" Up 19-0 at halftime against a team that had only scored 19 points once in three games, with a clock-gobbling running game and a usually stifling defense ... and they gacked.

Sure, there are some good reasons why they lost. Allan Evridge is an inexperienced quarterback. Then again, he's more experienced than Steven Threet, who looked like John freakin' Elway in the fourth quarter. (Okay, he looked like Elway would have looked if Elway had been able to run. I haven't forgotten all the O.J. Simpson jokes, you know.) Again, you have to give Michigan credit for doing what it took to win that game ... but how did Wisconsin lose it? You can only reach one conclusion: Pants-blast.

Other teams whose lower body laundry you wouldn't have wanted to do last week: Indiana, Iowa, and Purdue, who I think became the first team ever to not intercept Jimmy Clausen. How will these teams rebound this week? Hint: like a dead cat.

Wisconsin linebacker Jonathan Casillas is due in court Friday to face DUI and other charges related to an August 24 incident, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports. Casillas was pulled over by university police while driving his moped with a passenger on it. His preliminary blood alcohol level was .15, almost twice Wisconsin's .08 limit.

Badger coach Bret Bielema told the Wisconsin State Journal that he has already disciplined Casillas and the linebacker will not face additional disciplinary measures. Casillas will not miss any games due to jail time, either; the worst penalty he can face is a $300 fine, a $355 surcharge, and a nine-month suspension of his driver's license.

Now, there's absolutely nothing funny about drunk driving, which kills about 13,000 people a year in the United States, according to Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Casillas is lucky he and his passenger weren't hurt and didn't hurt anybody. And I know, gas is quite expensive these days. But ... come on. A moped?

With a passenger?

At least we know he wasn't speeding.

This has to be the most embarrassing college football player incident since Kansas's Dion Rayford went batcakes over a missing chalupa and got stuck in the drive-thru window at a Taco Bell. Why do I have a feeling that the bulk of Casillas's in-house punishment involved having to endure the hoots of laughter as the details of his incident became known to his teammates?

Also See ... Then Laugh

Spurrier Addresses 30 Moped Owning Gamecocks After Accidents

Anyone remember this from last January?

"You guys in the offseason are going to give me some questions about scheduling and different things like that," Bielema said. "I guarantee you I'm never going to schedule a game that's officiated by WAC officials, that's for sure."

That was said in the aftermath of Wisconsin's curiously-officiated loss against Tennessee in the Outback bowl, but there's just one issue: it was a Mountain West crew that worked the game. Actually, two issues: Wisconsin had already signed up for a road game against WAC power Fresno State for this year.

Well, Bielema was right to be suspicious, because late in the Fresno State game he got absolutely hosed by a review:



Bielema wasn't wrong, he's just from the future.

God bless you, Week 3. Finally, it's time for football with outcomes less predictable than Al Davis' wardrobe or what happens when you leave PJ Hill alone with a Twinkie. Here's 10 games to watch other than Ohio State-USC.

Kansas vs. South Florida, Friday 8PM

Why We're Watching: Velour. Please, Mark Mangino, bring back the velour. We'll plant a velour tree, write velour ballads and pray to a velour god who wears gold chains and sleeps on a circular bed (Which is probably James Caan).

Then there's the football, as two previously not-ready-for-primetime teams meet on national television in a game that's as much about this season as a dipstick on the state of two climbing programs. Quarterbacks Matt Grothe andTodd Reesing are the constants from last year's teams, but both the Bulls and Jayhawks have to prove that they've successfully rebuilt key areas of their teams. South Florida lost two four-year starters at cornerback to the NFL draft and replaced them with Jerome Murphy and Tyller Roberts, two players with two career starts entering the season. Kansas lost its leading rusher and its leading receiver, but seems to have no problem filling the holes with Brandon Anderson-styled powerback Angus Quigley and an array of receivers (Reesing has completed passes to 11 different players).

But the matchup of the game will be South Florida's George Selvie against red-shirt freshman lineman Jeff Spikes. Selvie led the nation in sacks last year, but hasn't had the chance to so much as touch a quarterback inappropriately this season. He's due, which should alone send a shiver down Bulls' fans like they just hired Isiah Thomas to run the team. And if that doesn't strike enough fear, consider this: When he was a kid, George Selvie had a Buick fall on his head. If you think that doesn't make you an unstoppable badass, ponder it some more with the entire Wisconsin offensive line sitting on your head to add to the realism.

If South Florida wins, they likely won't play another ranked team this season until they meet West Virginia in December. [ Ed. Note -- The Bulls edged out Kansas on a dramatic last-second field goal. ]

Last season Wisconsin running back Lance Smith was not allowed to travel with the team on road trips thanks to pleading guilty to charges of battery and disorderly conduct after getting into a fight with his girlfriend. As long as he followed the rules of the of the first-offenders program he was put into afterwards, Smith was going to avoid any jail time and could continue playing for the Badgers.

Then a month ago it was announced that Bret Bielema had suspended Smith when he failed to live up to the requirements of the program, and on Monday Bielema decided he didn't want to deal with Smith's antics any longer. Which is why Smith was kicked off the team.

Coach Bret Bielema, who suspended Smith last month, announced the dismissal after the team's first practice of the season.

What Smith did to be removed from the first-offender program has not been disclosed.

Smith's case will now be sent back to court for sentencing on battery and disorderly conduct charges.

Smith rushed for 429 yards in seven games for the Badgers last season, averaging six yards per carry, and scored three touchdowns. Still, with P.J. Hill, Zach Brown, and John Clay also on the depth chart, I don't think Smith's absence will hurt the Badgers too much this season.

As for Lance, well, I hope he has a good lawyer.

The Fanhouse is at Big Ten Media Days providing a slanted and enchanted view of the proceedings. Here's the main post. Up next: Wisconsin head coach Bret Bielema.

Bret Bielema misses the media. [This, it turns out, is a filthy, entertaining lie -ed] 17 starters return, to have success it's about what they do in camp and "how they attack" the nonconference schedule of Andorra, the Faroe Islands, San Marino, and Fresno State.

Mike Spath from the Michigan Rivals site asks about Langford and Aaron Henry, who both blew ACLs. They'll be back; the only one who might be limited this fall is DE Matt Shaugnessy.

Back to back big night games... were not Wisconsin's doing, obviously, but Bielema does want Wisconsin fans to get righteously hammered: "If Wisconsin fans have a couple more hours to 'relax' in the stadium parking lot, that will be more festive." (Note: air quotes around 'relax' were implied by inflection and not actually created by finger-quotes, regretfully.)

Someone asks about the absence of Michigan from the top three in the media poll; Bielema replies this must be is a "misprint." Reasons: excellent recruiting, rodriguez a high quality coach. Ann Arbor News guy asks about Michigan again... we're 50-50 on questions about Wisconsin and ones about Michigan, and one of the Michigan ones came from a guy writing for "The Wolverine." Bielema notices: "It's good to be at a Michigan press conference."

Someone finally asks about his team by bringing up the quarterback situation and Bielema rewards them with boilerplate: "competition brings out the best in people." Starter will be named ten days before the first game.

Oh, Wisconsin, truly your nonconference scheduling is to be mocked:

The University of Wisconsin's 2008 football schedule, released Friday, reveals that UW replaced an early season non-conference game against powerful Virginia Tech with a regular-season finale against Cal Poly, a Football Championship Subdivision program.

Wisconsin's nonconference schedule is now Cal Poly, Akron, Marshall, and Fresno State. Last year's schedule: Washington State, UNLV, the Citadel, and Northern Illinois. The year before: Bowling Green, Western Illinois, San Diego State, Buffalo.

That's one BCS opponent in three years, and that opponent was Washington State. That might be understandable if Wisconsin was struggling to pick up Motor City Bowl bids, but UW is among the second-tier Big Ten powers and should be scheduling... I dunno, anyone, especially since UW returns the vast majority of a team that won* played in a New Year's Day bowl.

What's the common thread here? Bret Bielema, who evidently learned from the master of puff scheduling as Bill Snyder's defensive coordinator at Kansas State.

(Via the Wizard of Odds, and *correction.)