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Rebuilding the Cleveland Browns: Better, Stronger, Faster


The Browns returned to Cleveland in 1999, but they have been a perennial expansion team ever since. For some reason, 2009 seems worse than previous seasons. Maybe it's Eric Mangini's blinding incompetence, or the fact that Brady Quinn is to the quarterback position what JaMarcus Russell is to the quarterback position.

Whatever, the organization that continually strives for mediocrity continues to fall woefully short. Which is why we've decided to distract ourselves from the putridity by creating a roster of non-football-playing professional athletes who would immediately make the Browns better. That's not hyperbole.

MLB Hands Out Its Silver Slugger Awards

MLB awards season continued on Thursday afternoon as the league announced the winners of the 2009 Silver Sluggers, which go to the players voted the best hitters at their position in each league. The award is voted on by managers and coaches from throughout the league who are allowed to vote for anybody that's not on their team.

While there are some familiar faces on the list in each league, there are also some that aren't so familiar. Find out who's adding some hardware to their trophy case after the jump.

Carlos Zambrano Talks Retirement

Though he gets most of the attention for doing so, Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen isn't the only member of the Windy City's baseball teams who sometimes talks just to hear his own voice. Guillen's not even the only Venezuelan in town to do so. On the other side of the city there's Carlos Zambrano.

Zambrano has told the media a lot of things he didn't really mean over the years, and on Sunday he likely gave them his latest. The Big Z was talking about his disappointing 2009 season and said that if 2010 goes the same way, he's going to retire from the game of baseball.

Cubs Will Try to Trade Milton Bradley

Milton BradleyIt seems that not only is Milton Bradley's season in Chicago over, but his time as a Chicago Cub us as well. This weekend Bradley pulled himself out of two games due to a knee injury, gave the local media a hard time and then went out and slammed the Cubs and their fans in an exclusive interview. The Cubs responded to that interview by suspending Bradley for the remainder of the season, and it was a move that's been fully supported by both fans and Bradley's teammates.

Now it seems that the Cubs are going to do everything in their power to rid themselves of Bradley's presence on the team. According to sources within the organization the Cubs will try to move Bradley this winter in a trade.

Cubs Plan on Shopping Zambrano

Carlos ZambranoThis season has been one of immense disappointment for the Chicago Cubs. They were expected to cruise to their third consecutive division title in what was perceived as a weak NL Central in 2009, but with a few weeks remaining in the season, they instead find themselves 9 1/2 games behind the Cardinals and 6 1/2 games out of the wild card.

Cubs ace Carlos Zambrano has had his part in failing to meet expectations, as he's spent two stints on the disabled list and been suspended for six games this year. When he has been on the mound, he hasn't been the ace the Cubs need either, going 8-6 with a 3.77 ERA in 24 starts. He could also be one of the changes the Cubs decide to make this offseason as there's word out of Chicago that the Cubs will listen to offers on Zambrano this winter.

Roto Rush: Carlos Pena's Power Surge

Carlos PenaPoppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.

When you select Carlos Pena in fantasy baseball, you know you aren't getting batting average help. Still, his career-low .223 mark this year was well below expectations, and up until August 5, the power numbers weren't nearly high enough to console disappointed Pena owners.

Well, that has all changed. Since that date, Pena has slugged 11 home runs and driven home 22. His average has been respectable (.286) and his OPS is ridiculous (1.307). On the season, Pena now has a six home run lead on the rest of the AL with 37. He's also third in RBI (91).

101 Years of Futility and Counting? Boycott, Cubs Fans

unhappy Cubs fans
CHICAGO -- Tuesday night, in keeping with masochistic tradition, 40,000 fans will file into an ancient ballpark, ignore the reality of the standings and root for the Cubs to beat the Washington Nationals. They'll do so even though the Nationals, I dare say, might be better than the Cubs these days. This would be the ideal evening to boycott the one sports team in America that never, ever gives its diehards a reward for their loyalty, a franchise headed toward a 101st consecutive season without a World Series title.

Fantasy Week 21: Two-Start Pitchers

Yovani Gallardo
There is a pretty even distribution of talent this week as 43 pitchers will be two-start pitchers for the week.

Of the 11 "Must Start" options I really like Yovani Gallardo who gets the enviable task of facing the Nationals and the Pirates. Roy Halladay has it the worst of the bunch as not only does he have to face the Rays and the Red Sox, but he has to face two starting pitchers with sub-four ERA's.

Fifteen of the 43 two-start pitchers are "Solid Starts". Dan Haren has it rough facing Matt Cain and Wandy Rodriguez while Gil Meche faces two very beatable opposing pitchers in Jeremy Sowers and Ian Snell.

The other 17 pitchers are "Risky Business". You should only be considering these guys if you're in super-deep leagues or just massively desperate for strikeouts. None of these are viable options.

Roto Rush: A Pitcher's Best Friend

Poppin' out the box scores and right into your cubicle, the Roto Rush is your double espresso shot of fantasy baseball advice every weekday.

It must be nice being a Phillies pitcher.

The Philly sluggers put 12 runs on the board in yesterday's game against the Diamond- backs, giving them a total of 25 runs scored in the three-game sweep. Joe Blanton went eight innings and allowed three runs, which is going to be enough to earn a W on most nights when you're on the same team as these hitters. The team has now won eight of their last nine games and look to be the favorites to repeat as NL champions.

Carlos Zambrano Cops to Laziness, Vows To Change Habits

Carlos ZambranoThere are few players in baseball more polarizing than Carlos Zambrano, the mercurial right-handed hurler for the Chicago Cubs. Whether you love or hate Zambrano, the one thing for which he must be given his due is that he's never boring. Just this season, Zambrano has been to the disabled list twice, gotten his money's worth with a colorful ejection and been one of the Cubs better players (7-4 record with a solid 3.35 ERA in 20 starts).

For the past several weeks, Zambrano has been on the shelf with back spasms. He's targeting a return to the hill next Tuesday against Washington. His rehab has taken longer than expected, and, Sunday, an accountable Zambrano explained why.

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