FanHouse CONCACAF

CONCACAF has once again spared fans throughout North and Central America and the Caribbean the "drama" of a live draw and instead has released the finalized pairings for the second edition of its Champions League tournament. The confederation's website features a photo of a soap opera actress standing behind a bowl with some balls in it, implying there was some kind of randomness to the process, but you never really know with an organization that's always behaved as if it makes up the rules as it goes along.

Still, for a group that failed to organize a club championship as recently as 2001 -- astonishing when you think about it -- launching a reasonably coherent competition with relatively understandable qualifying criteria is quite an accomplishment. So, we'll give everyone the benefit of the doubt and look forward to a tournament that should help continue the development of professional soccer in the region and that awards the most hideous trophy in world sports. On to the "draw"....

The man in this picture is not Sven Goran Eriksson. He is Derek Williams, a celebrity impersonator who was worried he'd be out of work after Eriksson was sacked by Manchester City. Then Sven took the Mexico job, and voila! New rubes to foil!

That's exactly what Williams did when he showed up at Estadio Universitario in Mexico City on Wednesday, a hot model on each arm, and started talking tactics with Pumas de la UNAM boss Ricardo Ferreti -- and both Ferreti and the Mexican media bought it.

"All of a sudden he appears with two girls and it looked very strange indeed," said José Angel Parra, who writes for El Universal. "We'd heard that over there [in Britain] he'd been involved in some scandals so we didn't know what to think."

Ferreti, who didn't realize that wasn't Eriksson until he left, said later that he "liked the joke." The Mexican Football Federation? Not so much. They released a humorless statement warning clubs "not to let yourselves be surprised by this individual." Then again, some folks in Mexico aren't too keen on the real Sven being there, either. Maybe they're afraid he'll be too busy romancing their secretaries to coach the national team.

Sven Goran Eriksson probably thought he was going to have an easy road to the 2010 World Cup with the Mexican national team. He might have to rethink that idea after looking at the Group Stage for the third round of CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying.

Here's how the groups break down:

Group 1: USA, Cuba, Guatemala, Trinidad & Tobago
Group 2: Canada, Honduras, Jamaica, Mexico
Group 3: Costa Rica, El Salvador, Haiti, Suriname

As Soccer By Ives points out, Group 2 is probably the closest thing to a group of death that you'll find in CONCACAF. Just about anyone from Group 2 could win Group 3 fairly easily. The USA and Costa Rica will have a much easier time getting through to the final qualifying round than Mexico will.

Third-round World Cup Qualifying matches will begin on August 20 and end on November 19. (You can see the full schedule here.) The top two teams in each group will advance to the final round, a six-team round robin that will begin in February of 2009. The top three teams from the final round go directly to the World Cup, while the 4th-place team will play the 5th-place team from the CONMEBOL WCQs in playoff to determine who makes it through. Right now, that 5th-place team is Brazil. Yeah, good luck with that.

Sven-Goran Eriksson has been named the new manager of the Mexican national team. What better way to celebrate than with a song?


The former England and Manchester City manager replaces Hugo Sanchez, who was sacked after failing to get the Tricolores U-23s to the Olympics. Manchester City has already appointed former Blackburn Rovers boss Mark Hughes as their new manager.

I'm eager to see Bob Bradley's reaction to this hiring, actually. Bob and Sven look like they could play quite a chess match against each other.

Would Sven-Goran Eriksson trade a run at the UEFA Cup for a run at the Gold Cup?

Apparently, that's what the Federación Mexicana de Fútbol Asociación is hoping. According to The Guardian, Mexico has approached Eriksson about managing its national team.

Mexico fired Hugo Sanchez last March after he failed to lead the Mexican U-23 team to the Olympics and is reportedly chasing after a high-profile European manager to replace Sanchez. Eriksson tops Mexico's wish list in part because he brought Mexican national Nery Castillo to Man City last January.

I have my doubts that the successful Swede, who has won league titles in Italy and Portugal, would leave Europe to manage a national team in CONCACAF. Yes, he would have an easy road to the World Cup in 2010, but that might not be enough of a challenge for him. Plus, we don't know if the secretarial pool in Mexico would be to his liking.

Eriksson is also linked to Chelsea and might be waiting to see what happens to Avram Grant before making his final decision. Man City fans, meanwhile, are continuing to campaign to save Sven from getting sacked. They even have an online petition. Good luck getting Thaksin Shinawatra to notice that, guys.

A few months ago, I made the argument in this space that the winner of the U.S. Open Cup, the American equivalent to England's FA Cup, deserved a spot in the new CONCACAF Champions League. Someone out there must have been listening.

CONCACAF announced the qualification format for its new Champions League last night, and starting this year, the 2008 U.S. Open Cup champion will earn a bid to the 2009-10 Champions League. This will allow clubs playing in United Soccer Leagues, the divisions below Major League Soccer, an opportunity to qualify for the Champions League. Last year, six MLS clubs were knocked out of the Open Cup by USL clubs, and both the Seattle Sounders and Carolina Railhawks of USL-1 reached the semifinals and took their MLS opponents to extra time before bowing out.

In addition, the 2008 Supporters' Shield winner and both MLS Cup finalists will earn Champions League bids. Because the New England Revolution was both Open Cup winner and MLS Cup runner-up last season, that club will take the Open Cup spot, and Chivas USA will take the vacant spot because they had the second-best regular season record.

It doesn't take much to be famous in the 21st century. All you have to do is take off most of your clothes, tie on an American flag and run into the middle of a soccer game that most sports fans wouldn't care about otherwise.

At least, that was the plan for Tiffany May, who went pitch invading during the USA v. Honduras Olympic qualifying match and became an Internet sensation. Now after taking off most of her clothes for the game, she's cashing in on her 15 minutes of fame by taking off all her clothes -- for Playboy.

You can see the full NSFW teaser trailer here at The Offside Rules, which notes ironically that Tiffany "may make more money doing that than a few US soccer players will make this year." Plus, in the video, Tiffany herself offers a solution for getting more people to become soccer fans:

"Maybe if there were more girls like me streaking at soccer games, we'd have a lot more fans."

Well, isn't that why NFL teams have cheerleaders? Perhaps MLS clubs should look into that. Mexico is way ahead of the curve there.

I suspect I'm not the only American soccer fan who stopped paying attention to the CONCACAF Champions Cup after all the MLS clubs bowed out in the semifinals. This competition has a history of not keeping our attention in this country, where USA v. Mexico carries far more weight than MLS clubs v. Mexican clubs. That might be one reason why CONCACAF is dumping the 8-team Champions Cup in favor of a 24-team Champions League format starting this August.

Nevertheless, it's worth noting that Pachuca defeated Deportivo Saprissa 3-2 on aggregate to win the last Champions Cup and a spot in the FIFA Club World Cup for the second straight year. It's also worth noting that there are some wicked saves by the goalkeepers in that highlight reel.

Remember those kids from the Cuban U-23 squad that defected during the CONCACAF Olympic Qualifying tournament? It appears three of them found a place to practice -- Los Angeles.

Goalkeeper Jose Manual Miranda, midfielder Yordany Alvarez and defender Yenier Bermundez made the trip from Florida to California to train with the L.A. Galaxy last week. They are not signed to any contracts yet -- there are likely immigration and asylum issues to settle first -- but the three amigos are expected to stay with the club through most of this week as the Galaxy prepare to face the Houston Dynamo.

No word on whether David Beckham bought them dinner at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.

Miranda in particular played brilliantly for Cuba against the U.S. U-23 team before he and four other players fled their hotel in Tampa. I'm a little surprised MLS hasn't tried to expedite his naturalization papers. The Galaxy need all the help they can get.

(H/T: The Offside)

Oh my, isn't that a mouthful of a title? Either way, Das FanHaus and the official unofficial source of all things MLS here at Fanhouse is here to say "Nay" with a hearty dash of name-calling. Dave Warner disses the current state of MLS forever and ever on this side of the world, to which we say "The right gentleman, Mr Warner, is a spanner and rightfully disagree."

Last night's double drubbing of DC and Houston at the hands of Pachuca and Saprissa are certainly disappointments, but they are by no means anything more than a pair of international losses. These things happen, and they should be taken in stride. We have said on countless occasions that MLS is growing up as a league and should no longer be handled with the kid gloves, but this minor setback is not indicative of any kind of future failure: CONCACAF Champions Cup, InterLiga, CONCACAF Champions League, or whatever other falderall our Western hemisphere amigos concoct in this lifetime.