FanHouse Canadiens

Looking at this photo snapped in Atlanta during All-Star weekend, I feel like I'm viewing a grainy snapshot of The Beatles and The Stones jamming together in a London pub back in 1965. OK, maybe it's more like a cell phone photo of the casts of "Knocked Up," "Superbad" and "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" sharing a hookah. Whatever you call it, I'm calling it historic: A Penguin sits between an orca and a polar bear, and survives to tell the tale.

Using the latest in CSI-style investigation and unabated snark, The Empty Netter has analyzed this photograph and came to some stunning conclusions. (Montreal Canadians Mascot: Looks to be flashing gang signals; maybe putting out a "hit" on the Maple Leaf mascot.) But only FanHouse was there to record the costumed conversation in this world exclusive ...

Every day from Monday to Saturday, The Ice Sheet will take a look at the biggest stories in the league that happened on the ice and elsewhere the night before.

Yes, it was the final game of a road trip that saw them swing through Western Canada and then to the opposite side of the Keystone State. No, they did not have Marc-Andre Fleury between the pipes, shielding his sterling 2.90 GAA and .902 save percentage from the carnage. But let's toss whatever limited and rather inconsequential excuses aside like they were Mark Recchi bobble-heads, and acknowledge the truth: The Philadelphia Flyers beat the snot, the stuffing and the hell out of the Pittsburgh Penguins last night.

The 8-2 loss on national television -- OK, on VERSUS -- saw a hat trick for Joffrey Lupul, whose six-point night was the first for the Flyers since Eric Lindros posted a six pack in one of his rare non-concussion games back in 1997. R.J. Umberger completed a second Philly hat trick late in the third period, marking the first time since Tim Kerr and Dave Poulin in 1986 that a pair of Flyers drained the crowd of its headgear.

But perhaps the most shocking development in last night's game: The Philadelphia Flyers were on the ice, yet it was Pittsburgh coach Michel Therrien and his players that came off as the most undisciplined, thuggish team in the NHL last night.

(Coming Up Next: Last Night's Losers, Scandalous and Hilarious Puck Headlines, Life as a New York Rangers Fan, Games You Need To Watch Tonight, A Handy Guide To Fake Trades and a "Special" Christmas Carol For the Hartford Whalers.)

Every day from Monday to Saturday, The Ice Sheet will take a look at the biggest stories in the league that happened on the ice and elsewhere the night before.

St. Pete Times reporter Damian Cristodero dropped a bomb the other day, quoting Tampa Bay GM Jay Feaster that huge changes could hit the Lightning if the team hasn't turned things around by Christmas: "Being sub-.500, being 13th or 14th out of a 15-team Eastern Conference isn't cutting it, given the money we lose, to think we're going to keep payroll where it is and not make changes."

Naturally, Vinny Lecavalier became the topic of conversation for everyone from Vancouver to Montreal, who believes it should own Vinny based on birth-right. Lyle "Spector" Richardson -- one of the few level heads when it comes to trade speculation in the NHL -- points out that unlike high-priced teammates Brad Richards and Marty St. Louis, Vinny does not have a no-trade clause in his contract. But Spector also claims that Feaster has gone on the record stating that "he wouldn't go down in history as the man who trade(d) Lecavalier." Which, to me, means it's more likely that the Bolts will fire John Tortorella or trade Vaclav Prospal if the team doesn't turn it around.

But even if Vinny were on the block, the notion that he could be had for some sort of mediocre Joe Thornton package is ludicrous.

(Coming Up Next: Last Night's Losers, Scandalous and Hilarious Puck Headlines, More CBC Hockey Blogging Reaction, Wade Belak Hits Pay Dirt, Games You Need To Watch Tonight, NHL Limericks and Why Hockey Players Need To "Where Visors.")

Hockey Nerd Tuesday is a weekly feature on NHL FanHouse that chronicles the stat-heads, gear geeks and fanboys (and girls) who spend an uncomfortable amount of time putting the "fan" in fanatic. Have a hockey nerd you'd like to see featured? E-mail Greg Wyshynski with the details.

Scrolling through the Toronto Maple Leafs section of FanHouse, one can plainly see that it hasn't been the kindest of years for the boys in the blue pajamas. They're practically in the basement of their division. They have a general manager who isn't allowed to fire his coach, and an owner who regrets hiring his general manager. They have a rookie who likes to photograph himself naked, and a defenseman who keeps getting undressed.

No, it hasn't been a banner year for a franchise that hasn't raised one worth a damn since 1967 ... but that doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to take joy in raking the Leafs. Hockey Nerd Tuesday focuses on two puckheads whose hatred of Toronto knows no bounds -- not the fact that the Leafs aren't even playing in the game they're attending in Ottawa, not even the sanctity of the Canadian National Anthem. Check out the 53-second mark and beyond of this YouTube video, as the television cameras attempt (and fail) to censor the vulgar truth about the 2007-08 Maple Leafs.


Previously on Hockey Nerd Tuesday:
Miracle on NES
The Rules of Engagement for Autograph Hounds
An Unhealthy Joe Sakic Obsession