FanHouse CarlMoore

You. Why aren't you as fast as Harvin? Oh, I guess "I am not a mutant" is a pretty good answer.

You may remember Carl Moore from Urban Meyer's winter of discontent. He was the five-star JUCO wideout whose gymnast girlfriend got to know Meyer's recruiting pitch for UF real well. This is kinda sorta maybe against NCAA regulations and momentarily got Meyer in trouble before he was cleared of all wrongdoing, as per usual.

So you'd think he'd have to be awesome, right? Well, uh... no:

Florida receiver Percy Harvin, one of the most explosive playmakers in college football, can spot a speedy player. And he knows transfer receiver Carl Moore is not fast.

Although Moore, who played at Sierra (Calif.) Community College in 2007 and is listed by rivals.com as running a 4.45-second 40-yard dash, might not win any sprints the next few weeks during the Gators' spring football practices, the five-star recruit could earn a spot on Florida's first-team offense.

All this drama for a possession receiver? What, Chris Doering wasn't available?

Harvin, for his part, is using his speed on the Wii or something: he's got a heel injury that will keep him out this spring, but since his coaching largely consists of "you should run considerably faster than anyone on the field and many champion racehorses," Florida should not be unduly affected this fall.

Before all y'all - yes, I live in the South - Gator fans get up in arms, know that I come in peace. Urban Meyer is a tremendous coach and arguably the best recruiter east of the Mississippi. His record speaks for itself and I'm a fan of what he's done at both Utah and Florida.

So, did you hear the one about the California receiver who spurned two big-time California passing offenses (California, USC) for Florida? Wonder if it had anything to do with a Florida gymnastics scholarship offered to his girlfriend?

the Gators might have sealed the deal by offering [Carl] Moore's girlfriend, Maranda Smith, a gymnastics scholarship. Smith transferred to Sierra from UCLA, where she was on a gymnastics scholarship before suffering a broken leg. She was considering a scholarship to Arizona this fall."I'm glad we're going to Florida together," Moore said.

Or did you hear the one about the assistant coach wearing an apron to help woo a recruit?

[Matt] Patchan, a 6-foot-8, 265-pound tackle, received the full-court press by Florida Wednesday, with five Gators coaches visiting for dinner.

According to Patchan's mother, DeAnne, Gators offensive line coach Steve Addazio even put on an apron and helped her cook beef tenderloin.

"It was great," DeAnne said. "I think coach (Urban) Meyer really liked it."

All of this is perfectly legal, shameless ... and highly amusing in print. To tell you the truth it's how business gets done above ground in the crazy college football recruiting game. Florida's great at recruiting and these are but small examples of why.