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FIFA Lays the Smackdown on Chelsea

FIFA has banned Chelsea from signing any new players until 2011 because of its signing of Gael Kakuta from Lens in 2007. Let's face it, Chelsea isn't exactly the most beloved club soccer team in the world. Whether it's because you loathe how Roman Abramovich ushered in a new era of big-money transfers when he bought the West London club in 2003 or you can't stand the on-field antics of guys like Didier Drogba, the Blues are a team many soccer fans love to hate.

Love them or hate them, from a logical standpoint Thursday's FIFA ruling that Chelsea cannot sign another player until 2011 because the club induced French teenager Gael Kakuta to breach his contract with French club Lens in 2007 at first glance seems extremely harsh.

Chelsea Downs Manchester United in Penalties to Win Community Shield

Chelsea and Manchester United contested the 2009 community shield Sunday. It's probably not going to make up for losing the 2008 Champions League final in rainy Moscow, but Chelsea got a modicum of revenge against Manchester United Sunday by defeating the reigning Premier League champions 4-1 in a penalty shootout after a thrilling 2-2 draw after 90 high-octane minutes at London's Wembley Stadium.

The traditional curtain-raiser for the English season featured a little bit of everything, with the two world powers trading blows and giving each other everything they could handle. The game probably had a little more juice than other Community Shield matches due to the longstanding rivalry between the clubs.

John Terry Pledges Future to Chelsea

John Terry pledged his future to Chelsea Sunday. The whole business of Manchester City's pursuit of Chelsea captain John Terry seemed like the very definition of the "silly season" that is the European summer transfer window. For weeks there have been endless reports of how suddenly cash-flush City wanted the Chelsea defender, essentially offering him the moon (and buckets of cash) to make the switch.

Sunday, finally, Terry himself issued a statement to the club's official website that his future remains committed to Stamford Bridge. Terry basically said what people like myself have been thinking this whole time -- that he'd never leave Chelsea.

Barcelona Deals Chelsea Heart-Breaking Loss, Reaches Champions League Final

LONDON (AP) - Barcelona advanced to the European Champions League final against Manchester United in dramatic fashion, tying Chelsea 1-1 Wednesday night when Andres Iniesta scored in the third minute of second-half injury time.

Michael Essien scored on a 20-yard shot in the ninth minute for Chelsea, which lost last year's final to Manchester United on penalty kicks.

Champions League Snapshots

    Chelsea's Michael Ballack (R) screams at referee Tom Henning Ovrebo after a possible handball by Barcelona during their Champions League second leg semi-final soccer match at Stamford Bridge in London May 6, 2009. The game ended 1-1, Barcelona won on the away goal rule. REUTERS/Eddie Keogh (BRITAIN SPORT SOCCER IMAGES OF THE DAY)

    Reuters

    Frank Lampard of Chelsea reacts after Andres Iniesta of Barcelona scored the winning goal against his team in injury time during their Champions League second leg semi-final soccer match at Stamford Bridge in London May 6, 2009. REUTERS/Eddie Keogh (BRITAIN SPORT SOCCER)

    Reuters

    Barcelona's Lionel Messi (R) is congratulated by his manager Josep Guardiola after their Champions League second leg semi-final soccer match against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge in London May 6, 2009. REUTERS/Eddie Keogh (BRITAIN SPORT SOCCER)

    Reuters

    Barcelona's Andres Iniesta (R) and Samuel Eto'o celebrate a goal against Chelsea during their Champions League semi-final second leg soccer match at Stamford Bridge in London May 6, 2009. REUTERS/Albert Gea (BRITAIN SPORT SOCCER)

    Reuters

    Barcelona's Andres Iniesta, center, celebrates with Samuel Eto'o after scoring his sides equalising goal during their Champions League semifinal second leg soccer match against Chelsea at Chelsea's Stamford Bridge stadium in London, Wednesday, May, 6, 2009. (AP Photo/ Matt Dunham)

    AP

    Barcelona's Andres Iniesta, left, reacts after scoring a goal against Chelsea during their Champions League semifinal second leg soccer match at Chelsea's Stamford Bridge stadium in London, Wednesday, May, 6, 2009. (AP Photo/ Jon Super)

    AP

    Barcelona's Andres Iniesta, no8 shoots and scores a a goal against Chelsea during their Champions League semifinal second leg soccer match at Chelsea's Stamford Bridge stadium in London, Wednesday, May, 6, 2009. (AP Photo/ Jon Super)

    AP

    Barcelona's Andres Iniesta , center, celebrates at the end of the match as his team win their Champions League semifinal second leg soccer match at against Chelsea at Chelsea's Stamford Bridge Stadium in London, Wednesday, May 6, 2009. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth)

    AP

    Frank Lampard of Chelsea reacts after Andres Iniesta of Barcelona scored the winning goal against his team in injury time during their Champions League second leg semi-final soccer match at Stamford Bridge in London May 6, 2009. REUTERS/Eddie Keogh (BRITAIN SPORT SOCCER)

    Reuters

    Barcelona's Andres Iniesta celebrates a goal against Chelsea during their Champions League semi-final second leg soccer match at Stamford Bridge in London May 6, 2009. REUTERS/Albert Gea (BRITAIN SPORT SOCCER)

    Reuters

Please Don't Ask Will Ferrell About Kaká



Earlier this week, Will Ferrell showed up for promotional appearances on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and MTV's Total Request Live sporting this old school Chelsea jersey. This pretty much ensures that no self-respecting Gooner will ever spend a dime on his movies again.

Ferrell is the newest addition to Chelsea's offcial Celebrity Fans list. He's up there with Michael Caine, Owen Wilson, Tara Reid, Busta Rhymes and Guy Ritchie. Sounds like a really crappy film waiting to happen, doesn't it?

(H/T: Unprofessional Foul)

Report: Chelsea Offers Milan ?100M for Kaká

The Guardian is reporting that Chelsea is prepared to offer A.C. Milan a world-record €100 million transfer fee for Brazilian midfielder Kaká.

If completed, the audacious deal would smash the previous record transfer fee of €76 million, which Real Madrid paid for Zinedine Zidane in 2001. Milan turned down a €90 million from Madrid for Kaká last summer, but with none of that filthy Champions League lucre coming in next season, Milan might use this deal to balance their books and add a less expensive, albeit less talented central midfielder.

This comes just days after Milan signed Ronaldinho from Barcelona for €21 million, so that much-anticipated Brazilian renaissance at the San Siro might not happen as expected.

Kaká beat out Cristiano Ronaldo for the Ballon d'Or in 2007 after leading Milan to the Champions League title. He would join a very crowded Chelsea midfield, which currently includes Michael Ballack, Frank Lampard, Joe Cole, Michael Essien, Jon Obi Mikel, Florent Malouda, Claude Makélélé and Shawn Wright-Phillips. Lampard, however, is expected to move to Inter Milan and be reunited with Jose Mourinho soon, while Makélélé and Wright-Phillips are believed to be on their way out.

UPDATE (7/21): Chelsea is now denying that they made this offer. Looks like it's up to Cristiano Ronaldo to break the world record for a transfer fee after all.

Frank Lampard Goes to Italy, Breaks Treadmill, Ends Up on YouTube


So last week, this Australian jewelry designer went on vacation in Italy, and she struck up a conversation with this nice Englishwoman named Elen about her bracelets. Elen then introduced the women to her husband -- Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard. The woman clearly has no idea who Lampard is or why he might be in Italy until restaurant employees started asking if they could get their picture taken with him. Awkwardness ensues.

Toward the end of the video, Lampard reveals that he broke a treadmill during his vacation. Perhaps Ronaldinho isn't the only one who needs to lay off the pasta.

(H/T: 101 Great Goals)

Is Scolari Wrecking Man United From Outside?

Do you get the sense that Chelsea's hiring of former Portugal boss Luiz Felipe Scolari was simply a move to cause turmoil in Old Trafford?

After all, it was Scolari who fanned the flames of the Cristiano Ronaldo transfer rumors. He would certainly be interested in seeing Chelsea's main rival for the Premier League crown lose its best player. Now it seems his replacement in Portugal is one of Man United's top coaches. Carlos Queiroz, who has been Sir Alex Ferguson's right-hand man for five of the past seven seasons, is set to replace Scolari as manager of the Portguese national team.

Ferguson and Queiroz have won three Premier League titles (2003, 2007 and 2008) together, and Queiroz played a vital role in improving Man United's defensive tactics in recent years. He was also going to be the man who would convince Ronaldo to stay at Old Trafford. Will his departure cause the Red Devils to slip in their quest for a third consecutive league title and a Champions League repeat?

Makes you wonder how many more dominoes Scolari can knock over, doesn't it?

Ronaldinho Really Did Eat All the Pies

What is it about Brazilian soccer superstars and their inability to control their appetites as they push 30?

First, Ronaldo got a million choruses of "Who Ate All the Pies" shouted at him. Now Ronaldinho, at the ripe old age of 28, puts on an oversized red T-shirt and ... well, around the midsection, that's pretty much how I would look in an oversized red T-shirt, and I sit in front of a computer all day. What isn't this man eating?

Amazingly, photos like this (and like this) somehow haven't deterred some Premier League clubs from their pursuit of Big Ronnie. The cynic in me looks at Manchester City's £19 million signing of Brazilian striker Jo from CSKA Moscow and wonders if owner Thaksin Shinawatra specifically targeted Jo to try and land Ronaldinho. Sure, Jo's 30 goals in 53 appearances for CSKA speak for themselves, but two Brazilians and a Benjani up front? Wouldn't Mark Hughes love that?

Chelsea is also in the running, in no small part because Luiz Felipe Scolari coached Ronaldinho to a World Cup with Brazil in 2002. Judging from this photo, though, whoever gets Big Ronnie will have a pretty tall task whipping him back into playing shape. If he gets any bigger, EA Sports will have no choice but to plump up his Mii.

What's Chelsea FC Doing in Raleigh, NC?


Chelsea might have a reputation among Premier League clubs for buying stars on the transfer market rather than developing them within the club -- they've already opened the silly season by signing Deco from Barcelona for £8 million -- but that doesn't mean the club's academy is lying dormant. In fact, the big London club is using its youth development program to reach out to America. Chelsea has struck up a partnership with Capital Area Soccer League, a large youth soccer club in Raleigh, North Carolina, and is already sending coaches to work with CASL youth players.

Since this is happening in my neck of the woods, I went to Raleigh to chat with some folks about this partnership.

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