FanHouse ChooseYourOwnRodventure

It's official, you're back with your manager, you have that $290 million contract, and Tommy Lasorda hooks you up at Spago's with all of the lasagna you can eat ... absolutely free! The city is so ga-ga over you, they've agreed to rename the town Los Dodgerles, and you've been signed up to star in a new show called CSI: Dodgertown, opposite Alyssa Milano.

However, not all remains rosy. Russell Martin, growing more jealous by the day of your close working relationship with Milano, starts a fight with you in the dugout during a spring training game. You throw a punch at Martin in retaliation, strain your oblique, and start the '08 season on the DL.

Now, with the Lakers having traded Kobe Bryant to the Atlanta Hawks (yeah, I was surprised too), all of the L.A. dailies are focused on you. The spotlight is even worse than before. And with all of the free lasagna you've been eating, you grow to about the size of Olmedo Saenz.

You come off the DL, and Joe Torre bats you eighth to shake off the rust and the pounds. You earn your way back up the lineup by hitting 25 home runs in the final two months of the season to bring the Dodgers back from 10 games behind on August 10th. You go on a tear in the playoffs, hitting 15 HR's in the ten playoff games, including a walk-off three run HR off Indians closer Mariano Rivera, and you finally have your first World Series ring.

Unfortunately, with Kobe having opted out of his contract with the Hawks and signed back with the Lakers as a free agent the day before (yeah, I was surprised too), there's no media there to witness your finest October moment. Now you and Scott Boras know how it feels to have your thunder stolen, don't ya?

The End.
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.

Los Angeles is just the kind of place you're looking for. Nice enough weather to go out and sun yourself, but none of that pesky media wanting to take a picture of you doing it ... they're all following Kobe Bryant around anyway. And now, it looks like the Dodgers are bringing in your manager from the last four seasons. It seems perfect. Too perfect.

So here you are in an office with Frank McCourt, Jamie McCourt, and Tommy Lasorda ... with each of them salivating over the opportunity to bring you to Chavez Ravine. The Angels have stolen the city from them, and they say there's no better way to win back the hearts and minds of Hollywood than by bringing you in. You get an offer of 10-years, $290 million. Your call ...

Click here to sign with the Dodgers
Click here to return to free agency
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.

After signing a 10-year contract for $245 million, along with some extra revenue by finally getting your own merchandise tent in the parking lot, you have a great first season in Queens, batting .325 with 49 HR's and 116 RBI's. You even carry the Mets to the World Series. But in the Series, you face your former teammates, the New York Yankees, and your Mets lose in seven games. Through it all, you show off your usual playoff swing and go 1-for-32 with 28 strikeouts.

During the next winter, a picture of you drowning your sorrows on the laps of five different strippers appears on the cover of the New York Post. It's only then that you realize that even though Queens may seem like a small market, it's still New York City.

You spend the rest of your career living in the basement of the new Citi Field after your wife kicks you out of the house. You're scared to leave the park because it's encircled by tabloid photographers. The rest of your career is spent ducking reporters, seeking out new therapists, dodging garbage thrown at you from the stands, and throwing ground ball after ground ball into the third row of the seats while putting up numbers only marginally better than Mike Gallego. But hey, you got your money, and your agent got his commission.

The End.
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.

There's some trepidation about the Mets, having "been there, done that" in the winter of 2000-01. But with your adversary from the first flirtation, Steve Phillips, long gone at ESPN, the door seems to be wide open. Heck, wasn't the whole reason you put the opt-out clause in the contract so that you could play for the Mets one day if the situation was better?

So you approach Omar Minaya. There's a little worry on your part that Omar will believe those rumors about the whole "24 and 1" mentality that Phillips accused you of back in 2000. So you make it clear that you would be open to play left field to keep the left side of their infield (David Wright and Jose Reyes) happy and in place. Your offer of good faith is rewarded when Wright offers to move to second base to give you third base, and thus giving the Mets the most lethal infield in the major leagues.

However, as the negotiations move towards the level of ownership, Fred Wilpon and his son Jeff -- after almost choking on their Subway 12" heros upon hearing your contract demands -- decide that they're afraid of spending too much money. And honestly, they kind of like the fact that the Yankees have pushed their team out of the public eye after the Mets colossal choke job at the end of last season. Signing you would bring that media attention right back again.

So the Wilpons come up with a counter offer with a "more reasonable" $24.5 million a year. It's not exactly what you or Boras wanted, but you grew up idolizing Keith Hernandez, and you would love to stick it to the team across town. What do you do?

Click here to sign with the Mets
Click here to return to free agency
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.

Alex Rodriguez is about to have himself quite an offseason. Preempting the World Series wasn't enough; now A-Rod will embark on the quest known as free agency. What will he choose? If you were him, what would you choose?

With a nod to the classic "Choose Your Own Adventure" series, we at the MLB FanHouse decided to offer you those choices. Dive in, and see what you'd do if you lived inside No. 13's skull. The choices are almost endless ...

You have just awoken from a terrible dream. You look around. It's impossible to see anything in the dark beyond the eerie glow of the your wall-mounted HDTV.

You slowly realize you are watching the eighth inning of the World Series, the latest in which you have not participated. Ken Rosenthal is on the screen, and his words send a chill up your spine.

"Alex Rodriguez has decided to opt out of his contract, Scott Boras has informed the media tonight ...Boras cited uncertainty within the Yankees organization as Rodriguez's reasons ..."

So ... it is done.

You could listen to the reaction, but you know what everyone will say. Instead, you flip the TV off and head downstairs to your sparkling in-home gym. Better start working out now, you think. Lots of people to disprove. There always are.

Because you are Alex Rodriguez. And you have some choices to make.

Taking a shortened deal means more money now, and lots of it, but it also means Boras is able to spin your signing as less concerned about your contract than about the chances of your team winning a World Series. You just want to help, you say, long-term stability be damned.

Those media people weren't lying when they said the Angels fans really wouldn't bother you; they like baseball, but seem way too relaxed to call you A-Fraud or Gay-Rod or any of the other things New Yorkers called you when you went 2-for-5 in a losing playoff effort. The years pass, and your team is always good, but you begin to worry about Mike Scoscia. He's always calling bunts and hit and runs even when you're at the plate, and he tries to make you steal even though you're not as fast as you used to be. In fact, he makes everyone steal, even Bartolo Colon. It gets grating.

Not only that, but the team doesn't seem to be winning. You and Vlad are the new Ortiz and Manny, but without any real playoff appearances to show for it. Shortly after signing you, Arte Moreno is -- thanks to the subprime mortgage crisis and PETA's insistence on allowing the rats at the stadium to flourish in their "natural environment" -- forced to sell the Angels to the former ownership group of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Oh no! They begin unloading payroll, first Vlad, then Gary Matthews, and then anyone that makes more than $5 million a year. Except for you. You're their prize cow, the one player that keeps the fans in the stands, and you begin to feel like Michael Jordan's punishment for losing in Space Jam.

One day, you look around, and you realize that your worst fears are confirmed: You're nothing more than a pawn. A childlike puzzle piece in a man's game. No one likes you, because they never could: They're all part of the infinite lie. You begin to be actively critical of free market capitalism; you mix a study of Marx and Orwell with Alan Watts and Eastern philosophy. Suddenly, you decide that baseball is the last thing you'd like to be doing, and as the last day of your contract passes, you move to Tibet to edify, never to be heard from again.

Good thing you signed a shortened deal after all, huh?

The End.
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.

You remember Scott Boras telling you just how much money you could wring out of Arte Moreno, the ultimate fan's owner with pockets to match his ambition. $300 million will be a base deal out here in Southern California, where the fans are friendly, the weather is idyllic, the beer flows like wine, and the in-game lattes are just so delicious. They even have a cute monkey, and you always wanted a monkey!

Fortunately, Moreno and crew believe you are every bit as perfect for this signing as the conditions suggest. Not only will you attract fans, you and Vlad will form a lethal combination in the middle of the lineup, and the infield coaches are drooling at the thought of you teaming up with Orlando Cabrera on the left side of the infield. After all, you've covered for Jeter's lack of range for four years; playing with Cabrera will seem like having an extra man in the gap between third and short.

But, surprisingly, Moreno comes out swinging: six years, $200 million. That's a great deal, but you'd really like to sign through the age of 40, because once that production starts to wane a new deal will be much harder to find. Scott calls back and tells Arte that he has the Red Sox on the other line, and they're offering 10 for $300 ... but Arte says "No thanks." Boras calls back again, and says the Cubs have just offered 9 for $280 and an ownership stake in Portillo's, which they aren't even allowed to do but which Boras says anyway. Arte, familiar with Scott's infamous phantom deals, still says no.

Finally, Scott calls back one more time and pleads with Arte to extend the deal. Moreno refuses: Those pockets are deep, but the housing crisis has Arte thinking about his grandkids. Six for $200 is the final offer.

So what do you do? Do you take the shortened years and that huge chunk of change, or do you get back out in the market looking for the long term deal you can retire on?

Click here to sign with the Angels
Click here to return to free agency
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.

You accept the mystery team's offer. A helicopter descends from the sky and sweeps you away to a press conference. When you arrive at the press conference, you see Tom Hicks standing at a podium, explaining that they've recently had some money freed up from bad contracts given out by their old front office and they wanted to spend that money on the best player possible. You don't see Albert Pujols anywhere and you get a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.

"And without further ado, I'd like to take this chance to introduce you to the newest Texas Ranger, again, Alex Rodgriguez!!!" Hicks motions for you to take the stage.

Your heart skips a beat. You did not want this. Your mother always told you money wasn't the only thing, but you never really believed her until now. You're pretty sure you're going to save yourself the trouble of firing Boras by just killing him the next time you see him. But you've got to say something now. Everyone is waiting. The lights are so bright and the cameras are flashing. You take a deep breath.

"Thanks, Tom. I'd like to take this opportunity to demand a trade to the New York Yankees."

Some things never change.

The End.
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.

"Alex, I need you to come to my office. I've got a voice mail you have to hear." You've never heard Scott's voice sound so excited before. You hurry to Scott's office because you always do what Scott tells you to do.

You get the offices of Boras, Boras, and Bora$. You hurry up to Scott's penthouse office on the 13th floor of the building. Scott is huddled over an old-fashioned answering machine with tears streaming down his face. You aren't sure, but they seem to be tears of joy. He motions you over and presses the "play" button on the machine. A deep and obviously distorted voice pours out.

"Alex. We want you to play for our team. We are prepared to offer you $400 million over 10 years. We cannot tell you who we are until you sign the contract for security purposes, though we assure you that we represent a major league baseball team. We will call back tomorrow at 2:56 PM to receive your answer."

You're stunned. $400 million? That's like $75 million more than anyone else offered! Whoever this mystery suitor is, they're practically bidding against themselves. How can you turn down that kind of money? You're a bit concerned
by their unwillingness to reveal themselves, but judging by Scott's giddy skipping around the room and singing "TAKE IT!!! TAKE IT!!! TAKE IT!!!" it seems like a safe bet. What do you do?

Click here to accept the mystery team's offer and discover their identity
Click here to go back to free agency
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.

You took the Tigers' offer. And why not? Little Ceasars for life was too good to turn down. You report to spring training and immediately click with all of your teammates. You get a locker next to Jim Leyland's office, though, and all of the second-hand smoke takes a couple of years off your life, but who cares? You're filthy rich, and by the time you need it you'll probably be able to clone an extra lung, or at least purchase one on the black market.

Plus, the fans are great. Even when you go 1-for-4 with three strikeouts, no one complains -- after all, they can still see Brandon Inge sitting in the dugout. Plus, by the third week of the season all of the reporters have given up hope that you'll ever say something controversial. All of that media training Scott Boras made you take to make you as boring as possible paid off! Instead of bugging you, all the reporters now camp out by Gary Sheffield's locker waiting for his next ridiculous sound bite.

The Tigers cruise to a division title and coast through the playoffs. All of that fielding practice Leyland forced the pitchers to take paid off, as they manage to get past the Rockies in the World Series without a single error. In 2009, though, you realize just how old this team is. After winning the World Series, Pudge Rodriguez leaves as a free agent, and by now Edgar Renteria, Placido Polanco, Carlos Guillen and Magglio Ordonez are all at least 33 years old, and Sheffield is 40. If this team can't win another title soon, it'll likely be broken up and sold for parts.

A few years later, that's exactly what happens. Mike Ilitch steps down from his role, passing the torch to his kids, who are more interested in preserving the family fortune than they are maintaining one of the highest salaries in baseball. Everyone else is traded off, but your contract makes you immovable -- not that the team would consider trading you anyways, considering your chase for Barry Bonds' record is the main attraction at the gate. Despite a losing record and a rag-tag collection of teammates, you finish your career in pursuit not of wins but rather individual statistics, following in the footsteps of the man whose record you're chasing.

The End.
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Not sure what this is? Follow this link to help Alex Rodriguez make up his mind, Choose Your Own Adventure-style.