FanHouse Chris DiMarco

Imagine you're throwing a birthday party for your 13-year-old daughter. You have pony's set to carry the lucky kids around the yard. A clown that is going to paint the faces of the children and tie balloon animals. And the cake is as delicious and frosted as anything you've ever placed in your rumbling stomach.

Now imagine the pony has a bad back. It carries children the same way it would carry an international Space Station. Poorly ... very poorly. The clown shows up, but he's drunk and keeps painting phallic symbols on the kids faces as he laughs into his flask. Oh, and that cake? Yeah, turns out yours got mixed up with one from a vegan party, and it tastes the same way Tara Reid's stomach looks ... not great.

That is what the Presidents Cup is currently facing at Harding Park in San Francisco. With just five weeks until the United States team hosts the International team in the seventh playing of the team event, the municipal golf course is still reeling from what is now being deemed Fertilizergate.

Frustrating. That is the only way you can describe Tiger Woods' opening round at the Buick Open. A two-time winner of the event, Woods went out at Warwick Hills on Thursday with two bogeys in his first five holes, it would have been three if not for a 20-foot par save after a plugged bunker lie on the par-4, 4th.

Four birdies over his next nine holes got Woods back in the picture on a premium scoring day, but a bogey on 15, a failed birdie chance on the par-5 16th after a perfect drive and a missed five-footer for birdie on 17 left Woods, yet again, talking about missed opportunities.

LONGWOOD, Fla. -- How cool would this be?

You move into your new sunny Florida home and discover that NBA superstar Dwight Howard is living in the big house next door. You go out to get the morning paper off the driveway and see that PGA player Chris DiMarco lives in the almost-as-big house on the other side of you.

You're in the middle.

Talk about a Street of Dreams.

"Can Dwight come out and play?''

Tiger Woods has a history of slow starts at the Masters. In 1997, his first trip to Augusta National as a professional, he fired an opening-round 70 that included a front-nine 40. He won by 12 shots.

In 2005, a municipal golf course in San Francisco was set to host the American Express Championship. The thing was, Harding Park wasn't ready. People, concerned with the conditions, questioned whether it would be ready to hold thousands of people set to watch the best players in the world duke it out.

As you might remember, the course turned out to be fantastic, hosting a battle between the spiffy clean Tiger Woods and his foe John Daly. Tiger ended up with the title, and Harding Park was on the map as a course that could handle the moment. Four years later, with the Presidents Cup coming to San Francisco, the same questions are arising. Is Harding Park going to be ready? Some golfers don't think so.

Every Monday during the PGA TOUR season, Monday's Pin Placement will run as a wrap-up of the weekend action, with a little commentary mixed in. We will focus on anything you may have missed while you were grinding on the putting green.

Zach Johnson Gets Lei'd -- So much is said about the young golfers these days. We talk about Anthony Kim, Hunter Mahan, Ryan Moore and just about anyone else that is under 30 and has a little game. What is hard for most to realize (because Tiger didn't do it) is most professional golfers don't hit their talent strides until they get to 30.

It hasn't been the easiest of times for Stewart Cink, a golfer many consider to be as good as anyone on tour not named Tiger or Phil.

Cink's win yesterday at the Travelers Championship was his first since 2004, and helped lift his head above the constant second place water level he's been battling with this year.

Cink finished second to Tiger Woods at the Accenture Match Play in February and followed that up with a, would ya lookie there, a second place finish at the PODS Championship two weeks later.

Now, he finds himself third in the FedEx Cup points system, winning the first tournament after the "Oh No Tiger Is Out For the Year Fill Your Basement with Bottled Water and Canned Goods" which turned out to be great golf with amazing names on the leaderboard.

Hunter Mahan, winner of this event last year, finished a shot back of Cink after four rounds of impressive play that included only three bogeys.

Kevin Streelman, Cinderella story turned bogey maker at Torrey Pines, used the much needed confidence that comes with being recognized on the biggest stage in golf, snagging his first top-10 of his career on the PGA Tour with Friday and Saturday rounds of 63-62.

Tiger Woods has had some absolutely remarkable years, but 2008 is his best start ever to a season.

Woods has won four of his first six tournaments, including Monday's playoff victory over Rocco Mediate at the U.S. Open.

In his career as a professional, Tiger has only had one full season (1998) where he didn't win one of his first six events and has had six seasons where he's won at least two of his first six tournaments.

Woods has already made $5,775,000, nearly $2 million more than second place Phil Mickelson in eight less tournaments and is leading the FedEx Cup by 6,755 points over Lefty.

With years like 2000 and 2006 where Tiger won nine and eight tournaments, respectively, it will be interesting to see if he can get to double digits in a year where he is battling a troubled knee. A healthy Woods would be on a semi-realistic pace to get to 10 wins, but with the knee lingering after five days at Torrey Pines, six more wins seems unlikely.

Just to toot Tiger's horn one more times, his four victories this season are more than Andy North, Padraig Harrington and Chris DiMarco have had in their careers on the PGA Tour.

Golf is such a crazy game that one week you are enjoying the Playboy Mansion while the next you're asking for pennies outside a McDonald's.

This week was no exception, with multiple winners and losers from around the cruel world of that nasty white ball.

Winners

Phil Mickelson - Yep, no surprise here. Lefty won his second tournament of the year at the Colonial, capping it off with possibly the shot of the year from the ball-washer on 18 to make a tournament-clinching birdie. Team Mickelson couldn't have had a more timely victory than the one this weekend.

Jay Haas - Oak Hill sure seemed like a fun place to be this week, didn't it? The Champions Tour players got smacked around all week by the Rochester, NY layout, but Haas endured the punches better than everyone else, taking home the Senior PGA Championship at 7-over par! As they say around Tour, a win looks the same on your Wikipedia page.