FanHouse ChrisHanson

After watching Owen Schmitt try to give himself a lobotomy with his helmet prior to Sunday's Jags-Seahawks game, it's clear that being clinically insane is a prerequisite to playing professional football.

And that goes a long way in explaining Jacksonville head coach Jack Del Rio, a former NFL linebacker, whose motivational tactics border on the certifiable.

Six years ago, in an effort to encourage the troops to "keep chopping wood," Del Rio placed a stump and an ax in the middle of the locker room. Not long after, punter Chris Hanson missed the stump, found his leg, and needed surgery to close up the gash. In retrospect, probably not the best idea.

Because the NFL season never ends, we present our 2009 Offseason Roadmaps for front offices to navigate through the summer.

Even though they lost franchise quarterback Tom Brady to a knee injury in Week 1, the Patriots managed to finish with a rather impressive 11-5 record in 2008. Impressive because they did so with a quarterback (Matt Cassel) that hadn't started a game since he was a senior in high school.

In most years, an 11-5 record is a lock for the NFL's postseason, but the Patriots became the first team since the 1985 Denver Broncos to miss the playoffs with such a mark. They already started the offseason by placing the franchise tag on Cassel, and it remains to be seen if they intend to trade him off to the highest bidder, or keep him around is a rather expensive insurance policy.

It's no secret that Miami linebacker Joey Porter can tend to be a little, uh, crazy. And it's no secret his pregame antics can be a tad annoying for opposing players and fans, whether he's trying to disrupt an opponents kicker, or getting himself ejected before a game in Cleveland by fighting William Green at the 50-yard line.

On Sunday in New England, Porter was again at the center of some pregame shenanigans, only he was the one doing the complaining and feeling as if he were disrespected in some way. According to Dan Dugan of the Boston-Herald, while the Dolphins were going through their stretches, the Patriots kickers and coaches walked through the Miami line of players as punter Chris Hanson started booming kicks out of the end zone. Naturally, Porter wasn't amused.

"I've been playing in the league for 10 years and I feel like I've done some crazy things, but I never did that," Porter said. "You can't walk right down the middle of somebody's stretch and start kicking out of the end zone like we're not even here, like they had the whole 100 yards. They just didn't want their 50, they wanted our 50, too."

The weather in Boston is frightful but the game got off to a delightful start for the Patriots defense. After the first Pats drive stalled, Chris Hanson's punt was downed inside the Jets five. On the second New York offensive play, Richard Seymour crushed Kellen Clemens and his wounded duck of a pass ended up in Eugene Wilson's hands for a an easy five-yard touchdown. Clemens needed some help leaving the field.

The Jets nearly answered on the ensuing drive without Clemens. He headed back to the locker room leaving Brad Smith, the college quarterback turned Kordell Stewart-lite, to run the offense. He ran a deft little option play with Leon Washington for 49 yards to get the Jets to the Pats 25. After a couple of run sent them backwards, Chad Pennington made his first appearance in weeks and found Jerricho Cotchery to give the Jets a fourth and two. Eric Mangini chose to go for it and went back to Smith who was incomplete.

Clemens has a rib injury and his return is described as probable.

(UPDATE: Despite the probable label, Pennington has been at quarterback for the Jets for the rest of the first half.)