NEW YORK -- This wasn't Carl Pavano's fault. Pavano was rightfully blamed for most every bizarre happening that occurred when he was a New York Yankee, but he returned to the Stadium Sunday and pitched exactly like he was expected to pitch when the Yankees were paying him gazillions of dollars, and still he failed to leave with the W.
"Stuff happens," Pavano said with a shrug, the scars of the Yankees' controversial 7-3 win over the Cleveland Indians still fresh. "Nothing I can do about it."
For once, Pavano's blasé attitude made perfect sense. For once, he didn't deserve to be affiliated with a messy aftermath shaped by controversy. Pavano had pitched a perfectly fine six innings for the Indians, allowing just one run while extricating himself nicely from the sort of jams that used to confound him when he wore the pinstripes.
NEW YORK -- It was a glorious sunny afternoon in the Big Apple -- the perfect day for the Yankees to show off their brand-new, $1.3 billion ballpark. The place looked great. The stands were packed. The field was littered with Yankee greats of the past. Yogi Berra threw out the first pitch. Kelly Clarkson sang the anthem. Everybody from the ushers holding the "Can I help you?" signs to feeble old George Steinbrenner himself was in an absolutely fantastic mood.
And then they had to go and ruin everything by playing the game.
Baseball is America's pastime, but had our forefathers enjoyed the modern conveniences of clocks, ball pumps, or haste, this pastime may well have been basketball or football. Instead, they had wood, leather, and a rudderless disposition. Baseball is Boring is a series of live blogs for folks who need irony and self-awareness to get through a game.
My girlfriend and I go to a lot of games in Cleveland, and for a change we decided to check out one of the Minor League teams. She took a look at the schedule and laughed at the team names. I told her that a weird-funny team name (Everett AquaSox) isn't as bad as a team name that used to make sense but doesn't now because the team moved. Like the Utah Jazz. "Where did the Jazz play before Utah?" "Uh, New Orleans? Where else would they have named a team 'The Jazz'?"
Kids, if the Rockies ever move ANYWHERE other than Colorado, be prepared to have this conversation. It just won't work anywhere else. They can't be the San Antonio Rockies. They can't be the Orlando Rockies. They can't be the Mexico City Rockies.
Although I guess the Indians could move anywhere they want, because there were pretty much Indians everywhere.
Baseball is America's pastime, but had our forefathers enjoyed the modern conveniences of clocks, ball pumps, or haste, this pastime may well have been basketball or football. Instead, they had wood, leather, and a rudderless disposition. Baseball is Boring is a series of live blogs for folks who need irony and self-awareness to get through a game.
From the Wikipedia article for "beard" - "A beard is the hair that grows on a human's chin, cheeks, neck, and the area above the upper lip (the opposite is a clean-shaven face). Typically, only post-pubescent males are able to grow beards. When differentiating between upper and lower facial hair, a beard specifically refers to the facial hair on the lower part of a man's chin."
The question here is, "how much lower part of a man's chin can one man have?" Peralta might as well cut his chest hair into a straight line and pretend it's his jawline. Sorry Jhonny, I want to look like Brad Pitt as much as the next guy, but when your head is shaped like a ripe melon a thin line of scruff isn't going to differentiate your neck fat from your head fat.
If you look one post down you'll see comments about today's game and the proper use of relief pitching from our resident Yankees chick, Yankees Chick. Well, I live in Cleveland and was at today's game, and let me tell you, the problem isn't whether or not they should've brought in Rivera to pitch the ninth. You see, it was Rally Towel Giveaway Day at The Reservation, and I don't think ANY relief pitcher could've kept his composure with 35,000 screenprinted dishrags spinning around.
Tonight's Dugout is done in the spirit of Fanhouse fellowship, partially because I love the writers here and want to be their friends and partially because Kyle Farnsworth was standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and if I was a big enough wig at this cracker factory I could've press-passed his ass and gotten a picture. Oh well. When I finish my "Kyle Farnsworth: World Warrior" screenplay he'll want to be my friend.
Hey Yankees Chick, stop blaming Farnsworthy for your team's problems. Kyle is El Rey del Derechazo. And his curly hair is hilarious. Dugoutage, after the jump.
I was born an Orioles fan, but fate and contextually affordable housing in the Bedford, Ohio area has made me an Indians fan. Pictured to the right is me with Slider, the Indians mascot, post dimensional jump.
The Indians don't use the Official Chatroom of Major League Baseball, so we don't feature them a lot. If you're a longtime reader you know about what's coming after the jump. If you don't, get ready to watch as I spend about a day and a half trying to narrow down all the crazy stuff that's happened to the Indians this winter into one online conversation without resorting to movie parody or epic mythological magicks battles.
You'll be seeing a lot more of the Indians this season. O-H, I-O (or whatever) after the jump.
I used to think the only things first basemen had to worry about were being alert for pick-off plays and avoiding the likes of Matt Stairs barreling down the basepath.
"Cleveland's Casey Blake always does that. If I have a bunch of hits in a game, if he gets to first base, he'll always try to touch me. Try to get hits. They just try to rub your arm. They try to take your hits away from you. Some guys try to rub the good luck on to them."
Personally, we're against any sort of touching in the workplace (and if you saw some of the people in our offices, you'd understand). But you can't blame anyone for trying to get a little of that Youk magic; his stellar D and recently revived bat have been two critical components of the Sox' success in 2007.
The Indians home opener in Milwaukee went well as they beat the Angels 7-6 on Tuesday night. C.C. Sabathia picked up right where left off going seven strong innings, while striking out seven.
A new question has arisen from this situation though. What if the weather in Cleveland still sucks? The Indians are supposed to start a three game series at home on Friday against the White Sox. I did some ultra-scientific research and I found that Cleveland isn't out of the woods yet. On Friday there isn't supposed to be any bad weather in Cleveland, but it will still be cold. However, on Saturday and Sunday in Cleveland, it's looking like it's going to snow again.
Looking at the Brewers schedule, they'll be spending their weekend in St. Louis. So now baseball has started to plan for a situation in which the Indians will have to remain in Milwaukee for their series against the White Sox.
Eric Wedge doesn't want to hear any of it, but he may have no choice.
"We're going back to Cleveland."
Yes, Eric, you are going back to Cleveland but it doesn't look like it's going to be this weekend.
This is bad news for Indians fans especially, because it looks like they're going to have to wait to get that free money of theirs.
Not surprisingly, interest from Brewer fans has been pretty high. The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel set up a forum to talk about interest in the games, and there's already a couple hundred responses, mostly resembling this:
I will head out to the games. It is a nice novelty to have the game here while the Brewers are away. I don't think $10 is a bad price to pay. It should be a great time. Something to do in April for a change!
- Tackle, Milwaukee
And there's also this final aspect: the best baseball movie of all eternity, Major League (at least according to one blogger's humble opinion), was about the Indians and was shot at County Stadium in Milwaukee. And the special edition DVD is being released... today. Perhaps the lingering presence of Jobu will help wake up Andy Marte's bat.
The Fanhouse's look at the day's most intriguing matchups
Boston Red Sox (3-3) vs. Seattle Mariners (2-1)-2:05PM Est.
It's Opening Day at Fenway Park as Josh Beckett and the Boston Red Sox take on the Seattle Mariners. For Seattle, Jeff Weaver makes his debut in a Mariners jersey. Of course, I don't think Mariners fans care who starts for their team. They're just happy they're finally going to see their team play a game after losing an entire weekend in Cleveland. The only question is whether or not Mike Hargrove will be able to convince the umpires to call the game should Seattle be losing in the fifth inning.
Cleveland Indians (2-1) vs. Los Angeles Angels (5-2)-7:05PM Est.
For the first time in nearly ten years there will be an American League game played in Milwaukee. Much like the Mariners, Cleveland has been sitting around on their butts while eleventy thousand feet of snow fell all around them. Will Grady Sizemore be able to keep the torrid pace he started the season at after taking nearly a week off? Against Ervin Santana it won't be easy, as Santana and C.C. Sabathia make up one of the day's most interesting pitching matchups.
Atlanta Braves (5-1) vs. Washington Nationals (1-6)-7:35PM Est.
The Braves received some bad news on Monday when they learned they were going to have to live without Mike Hampton this season. The good news is, things seem to be working just fine without him anyway. As if taking two of three from the Mets to gain an early lead in the NL East wasn't enough, now they get to feast on the Nationals! Sometimes life just isn't fair.
NEW YORK -- This wasn't Carl Pavano's fault. Pavano was rightfully blamed for most every bizarre happening that occurred when he was a New York Yankee, but he returned to the Stadium Sunday and pitched exactly like he was expected to pitch when the Yankees were paying him gazillions of dollars, and still he failed to leave with the W.
NEW YORK -- It was a glorious sunny afternoon in the Big Apple -- the perfect day for the Yankees to show off their brand-new, $1.3 billion ballpark. The place looked great. The stands were packed. The field was littered with Yankee greats of the past. 
If you look 
I was born an Orioles fan, but fate and contextually affordable housing in the Bedford, Ohio area has made me an Indians fan. Pictured to the right is me with Slider, the Indians mascot, post dimensional jump.
I used to think the only things first basemen had to worry about were being alert for pick-off plays and avoiding the likes of 
The Indians home opener in Milwaukee went well as they 
