FanHouse Colin Montgomerie

SAN FRANCISCO -- Steve Stricker and Tiger Woods had just improved their Presidents Cup record together this week to 4-0 and were about to do the obligatory network interview Saturday evening when a leather-lunged voice from bleachers behind 16 green stopped everything.

"Wisconsin and Stanford in the Rose Bowl!!"

Sticker laughed out loud. Even Woods, who can ignore a marching band, turned to look into the stands, shook his head in disbelief and responded with a smile. Some things just are not going to happen, but this week at Harding Park Golf Club the loud guy was on the right track. Stricker, a big cheese in Wisconsin, and Woods, the Stanford dropout, are the granddaddy of all golf pairings.

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It seems almost like clockwork, that at some point during your week you'll find out that Colin Montgomerie is not happy about something. Maybe it's Sandy Lyle, saying he cheated. It could be a trigger-happy photographer that didn't know of Mrs. Doubtfire's wrath. Or it simply could be a painter that refuses to brush Monty on a canvas because of his man boobs.

What is certain is he does tend to toss shoes around a lot, and his recent Nike discharge flew directly at England's own Ian Poulter, who after missing out on the Tour Championship, decided that he wouldn't be accepting an invitation to the Vivendi Trophy match in Paris (previously called the Seve Cup), and that rubbed the 2010 Ryder Cup captain the wrong way.

Stewart Cink is the British Open champion, the first major victory of his 15-year professional career. Given what happened at the 2001 U.S. Open at Southern Hills, you might say it's a been a long time coming.

But part of me wonders if the 138th Open Championship will be remembered for who didn't win. Tom Watson, 59 -- and 26 years removed from his last major title -- was the 54-hole leader. In fact, he was the 71st-hole leader, too. A sloppy bogey on the last landed him in a playoff with Cink and that was that.

It was a valiant effort and a hell of a lot of fun to watch, particularly since we weren't beaten about the head with every Tiger Woods shot since, you know, he missed the cut.

TURNBERRY, Scotland -- Sandy Lyle cannot shut up. He called Colin Montgomerie a cheater, apologized and called him a cheater again, and now is saying that Montgomerie is not a man.

"We sometimes call him a bit of a drama queen," Lyle said on BBC radio Thursday. "He's probably milking it a bit."

I have conflicting thoughts here. We've all done what Lyle is doing, saying one dumb thing, trying to correct it and accidentally making it worse. So you try to fix it, and make it worse again. And when you watch a man doing that, you just want to scream, SHUT UP ALREADY, and it will all go away.

At last week's Scottish Open Sandy Lyle, apparently tired of talking about his decision to walk off the course after 10 holes at last year's Open Championship, pointed out that Colin Montgomerie was once accused of cheating during a 2005 tournament in Jakarta.

Not sure the connection, but that's the excuse Lyle was using yesterday when he apologized to Monty by reading a prepared statement with all the emotion of a Monty-hating robot. And then Lyle proceeded to make matters more awkward.

Via the Irish Times:

Scotland's Sandy Lyle has something countryman Colin Montgomerie doesn't -- a major victory. But Monty, who had a firm grip on the Best Player to Never Win a Major crown until age and Sergio Garcia caught up with him, beat out Lyle for the 2010 Ryder Cup captaincy. Small consolation, perhaps, but also a nod to the fact that he was Europe's best player the last two decades.

Throughout his career, Montgomerie has been known as much for his robot-like consistency as he was for his raging case of between-shots rabbit ears. Notorious for glaring into galleries, now he's having to deal with accusations from his colleagues. Interestingly, it's Lyle doing the finger-pointing.

Last week, after five rain-soaked golf-crazed days at Bethpage Black, Lucas Glover emerged as the 109th U.S. Open champion. This is noteworthy for a number of reasons: Glover had missed his three previous Open cuts, Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson -- for different reasons, the two most popular guys on tour -- didn't add to their major totals, and, finally, the fans.

It wasn't your typical outside-the-ropes golf experience, even by U.S. Open standards. But that's what made it different, special (for the most part, anyway). And after the tournament, it prompted Mickelson to suggest that Bethpage would be a perfect venue for a future Ryder Cup.

"The people here are incredible ... the course is terrific, because 16, 17 and 18 are so close together. And the way the fans are, I think we would have a big advantage."

If this had happened three weeks ago at Memorial, it wouldn't even have merited a mention in the clubhouse after the practice round. But because Lucas Glover is now introduced as "2009 U.S. Open champion," whatever he does (or is done to him) is news. Even on a Wednesday prior to a tournament most people don't care about.

That was the case yesterday at the Travelers Championship, two days after his improbable victory at Bethpage Black. Following his introduction on the first tee to start his practice round, and amid polite applause from the gallery, Lucas teed up his golf ball, stepped back to begin his pre-shot routine, and promptly took a pie to the face, courtesy of PGA Tour buddy Johnson Wagner. (Click the photo above to see the video.)

Before Phil Mickelson broke through at the 2004 Masters, Lefty held the ultimate "kissing your sister" title. Phil was the "best player to never have won a major championship." Sure, Phil had made waves in majors, nearly taking the title at the 1999 U.S. Open and the 2001 PGA Championship, but he couldn't break through. Once the infamous birdie leap occurred at Augusta National in '04, Mickelson passed that title off to someone. The thing is, nobody has really grabbed it as feverishly as Phil did. He was the major-less face. Now, according to Forbes, it isn't Sergio Garcia.

Colin Montgomerie has softened in recent years. Not physically -- he's still as cuddly as ever (though not worthy of a portrait, apparently) -- but in terms of his on-course demeanor. Known as something of a curmudgeon throughout his career, Monty seems accepting of his fate as the "best player to never win a major," and his suddenly less-surly disposition reflects as much. Even after Nick Faldo kept him off the 2008 Ryder Cup team, Montgomerie was measured when disagreeing with the decision.