FanHouse College Football Preview 2008

As hierarchical as I-A college football is (indeed, much more so than any other American sport), nowhere is the caste system writ larger than in the SEC, where the good stay good, the bad stay bad, and Phil Fulmer stays comically overweight. Were EPL-style relegation ever to be implemented, you may rest assured that no more than two SEC programs would ever be in danger, and we're lucky enough to meet them both again today (plus a few new friends!).

After the jump, the four teams without a prayer of going .500 in the SEC in 2008...

First of all, no, I don't have any idea if this is Joe Paterno's last season or not. How can I know if JoePa himself doesn't know? What I do know is that whatever Paterno is doing, it's working. Sort of. The Nittany Lions were an agrarian army awfully arrayed just four seasons ago, and the hoots of derision coming from all corners of the college football world were threatening to eclipse all of Paterno's past accomplishments. Now the Nits have won three straight bowl games and are all but guaranteed to have a shot at making it four in a row.

Second of all, yes, the Lions have had their share of off-the-field problems lately. That's why an Iowa fan is writing this preview. Looking at Penn State football right now requires the ability to gloss over all the extracurricular activities, and we Iowa fans are about the only group of fans who can't say squat about the Nitty Kitties' rap sheet. Also, we want to thank them for taking the Outside The Lines bullet for us. So, thanks!

Now, on to the football.

The Fighting Illini were quite the surprise in college football last season, going 9-4 overall and 6-2 in the Big Ten a year after finishing 2-10. The quick turnaround in Champaign resulted in the first Rose Bowl berth for the Illini since 1983, and the team celebrated by getting their butts kicked 49-17 by USC.

Still, despite the embarrassment handed them by the Trojans, the 2007 season can't be considered anything less than a raging success at Illinois.

The question is, will the Illini be able to carry that success into the 2008 season? History suggests they won't as they've generally followed every winning season with a losing season in Champaign, but that was before the recruiting machine that is Ron Zook came to town.

So will the Illini continue their climb to becoming a Big Ten powerhouse, or will they return to the back of the pack?

This was way more difficult than it appears. Overrated players are usually at glamor positions on glamor teams; with Beanie Wells definitively not overrated, Penn State's general lack of star power, and everyone predicting doom for Michigan there was little to go around. So, like, I had to go with concepts. But not for #1.

1. Curtis Painter, QB, Purdue

I've posted on this before, when Mel Kiper put Painter in his top ten senior prospects for the NFL draft and a small portion of the logic center in my brain died. Last year, Painter was the beneficiary of a silky-soft schedule (nonconference: ND, Eastern Illinois, Central Michigan, Toledo, and Central Michigan again; in conference the Boilers missed Illinois and Wisconsin) and still couldn't put up good passer efficiency numbers, finishing 46th. His YPA dropped almost a full yard from his sophomore year, and when it came time to play the big boys Purdue's offense completely disappeared. And now he's lost Dorien Bryant, Selwyn Lymon, and Dustin Keller. No matter: Purdue's got a Heisman campaign going and Kiper's lost his mind. This is madness. Painter's immobile and erratic; he's not a wizard at reading defenses; his conference TD:INT ratio was 11:7. He'll be better this year, but closer to average than excellent.

When Big Ten teams got blown out in the Rose Bowl and Not Fiesta Bowl in 2006, it was embarrassing and annoying. Very annoying, as sports commentators from sea to shining sea used it as a foolproof indicator the Big Ten was a dinosaur conference, destined for irrelevance and the scrap heap. This, of course, was the worst sort of overreaction, one that assumed that What Had Just Happened was Going To Happen Forever And Ever Amen, and the Big Ten was going to prove 'em all wrong in 2007.

Yeah. About that.

Okay, so everyone and their brother knew that Illinois-USC was not a remotely close matchup and was destined to be lopsided. And this was supposed to be Ohio State's rebuilding year -- the Buckeyes, terrifyingly, return 20 starters -- so a national championship game in which they actually outgained LSU but were undone by horrible Boeckman picks and ill-timed penalties and turnovers wasn't too bad. And over the last two horrible years the SEC and Big Ten are 3-3 against each other in bowl games, which doesn't exactly scream Midwestern Apocalypse.

Still, maybe this year it would be a good idea to, like, win something?

After the jump: yearly superlatives.

With the start of a new season in the Big Ten comes new faces. Whether they're the hot new freshman on campus, the juco transfer, or the new head coach, here are five new faces in the Big Ten guaranteed to have a large impact on how this season will play out.

1. Rich Rodriguez-Head Coach-Michigan: Everybody's favorite snake-oil salesman hits Ann Arbor this fall and he has quite a task ahead of him. Say goodbye to Lloyd Carr's mind-numbing vanilla offense and say hello to Rich Rodriguez's spread option that made the West Virginia Mountaineers one of the best teams in the Big East year in and year out.

Now, obviously installing a whole new offense at Michigan and teaching his players how to run it isn't something that can be done in spring practice. Especially when you're not just installing a new offense, as the Big Blue defense will be switching from a 4-3 scheme to the 3-3-5. It's going to take time, and the Wolverines are likely to struggle early, but thankfully their first two conference games are in the Big House this season.

So while there are going to be some bumps in the road in Ann Arbor, the Wolverines shouldn't worry too much. After all, the last time they hired a new head coach from the state of West Virginia things worked out pretty well. All Fielding Yost did was go 165-29-10 while winning six national titles.

I wouldn't expect Michigan to win any national titles in 2008, but if Rich can get this team together and playing well enough to beat Ohio State in Columbus on November 22nd, I can guarantee you fans will pay the $1.5 million he still owes WVU for him.