FanHouse DancingWithTheStars

Shawn Johnson, 17-year-old Olympic gold medalist and Dancing With the Stars cast member, learned that sometimes fame can have scary and unfortunate side effects. That's because Robert O'Ryan, an alleged Johnson stalker, was arrested after attempting to break into the Dancing With the Stars lot at CBS Studios.

The NHL didn't really get all that much of a bump from Willa Ford's participation on the hit ABC show "Dancing with the Stars" because she wasn't yet married to Mike Modano -- allowing her to raise her profile via a constant state of flirtation with her dance partner during the show. Hockey might see a higher profile in the series' sixth season, as Kristi Yamaguchi competes on the show while her husband, Carolina defenseman Brett Hedican, competes in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. (Assuming that...nah, the Hurricanes will make the cut, right?) Yamaguchi has been playing up her husband's career in interviews, telling ABC News that she put her figure skating and celebrity career on hold for four years for "[being] a mom, hanging out, being a hockey wife."

In a move that will certainly diminish her chances of entering the Dallas Mavericks' locker room, Yamaguchi is also blogging for OK! Magazine during her stint on "Dancing With the Stars"; her latest post might be of interest to Hedican's teammates:

I just want to give some shout-outs to my family now – my husband, who's been amazing. He's still in his hockey season so it's a little sad we're going to be separated, but he's been so supportive of me. He'd come to watch us practice during the past month and would tell me, "Oh, you've got to teach me all these dance moves once all this is done!" I hope we stay in it long enough so he can come see me compete.

I'm sure Rod Brind'Amour and Scott Walker are just dying to see The Brett Hedican Mambo. The last season of "Dancing With the Stars" ran from Sept. 24 through Nov. 27, so no matter how deep the Hurricanes go in the postseason the show will still be on the air. Seeing as how Yamaguchi is the early favorite to win this season, I wonder if there's a friendly wager on who lasts longer in their respective competitions. I'm also pondering this: If she "plans to move back to the Bay Area this year, so her kids can grow up with their cousins," as Yamaguchi told ABC News, how will that affect the future for 36-year-old Hedican, who is a UFA after this season?

Some people know no lows, no shame. One such person, as if you didn't know, is Jose Canseco. But if you thought you had seen the worst from Jose after he tried to worm his way onto Dancing With The Stars, well, you've sorely underestimated this guy.

Somehow, Jose has angled for his own reality show, in which contestants compete for a day with him. Seriously. Read the press release, courtesy of MLB FanHouse homeboy Larry Brown at Larry Brown Sports:

A new television reality series starring Jose Canseco entitle, A DAY WITH JOSE, will begin production in Los Angeles at the end of April. Contestants will "pitch" their fantasy day ideas to a panel of judges, and 6 finalists will surprise Jose with their planned activities - and compete for the ultimate prize - Jose's 40/40 DIAMOND RING! ....

a pool of contestants, initially chosen from their on-line applications submitted to JoseCanseco.com, will appear before a panel of judges, and compete to become one of six finalists who will spend their fantasy day with Jose. They'll surprise Jose at his Los Angeles home, explain their planned day of activities as approved by the judges, and have Jose to themselves for the entire day. ....

At a later date, the six finalists will be re-assembled during one of Jose's now famous Hollywood pool parties, and a winner will be selected.

If you want to sign up for this show and compete ... sorry, but I'm not giving you the information. May God have mercy on your -- and Jose's -- souls.

OK, so Dancing With The Stars probably isn't the lamest show out there -- that show about being smarter than 5th graders probably takes the cake -- but thanks to the dancing, the glitter, the lights, the judges, and the stars, Dancing With The Stars is an altogether mindless waste of time, just like I like 'em.

A few athletes usually join each Stars cast. For example, Jerry Rice has participated, and Emmitt Smith won last year. This year, former NBA All-Star Clyde Drexler and speed skating gold medalist Apolo Anton Ohno, as well female boxer Laila Ali, are filling the athletes' seats, and somewhat capably, if Monday night's first show was any indication.

But the two weren't the only athletes pining for attention on the show. Jose Canseco, steroid aficionado and former baseball player, wanted in too:

Apparently, what he was doing was getting face time to try to provide some material evidence to the "rumors" that he would be the next Dancing With the Stars sports star - Rumors that evidently, Canseco was planting himself. It seems that the plan was to get as much face time in the gossip columns as possible so as to make it seem that he was the prime candidate for the spot. Sort of the self fulfilling prophecy strategy. The plan obviously didn't work as Clyde the Glide and the speed skater are strutting their stuff on network TV while Canseco tries to figure out if he really is just destined to do softcore porn.

Just when you couldn't get any more fed up with Canseco's sad, depressing antics, he goes and does something like this ... and TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF!

Frankly, I say it's not too late to let Canseco in. It would totally boost ratings, even if people only tuned in because they were angry. Plus, they could boot Joey Fatone -- a professional dancer in an amateur dance competition who, if Monday's show is any indication, is going to win every single round -- and make room for Canseco's bumbling, HGH-enhanced twinkle-toes. Even the playing field a little bit.

(HT: Gaslamp Ball, Deadspin)