You shock the world once again by taking the advice of Joe and using it to conclude that, not only are you most happy playing baseball, but you're most happy playing baseball for the Dodgers' eternal enemy, the San Francisco Giants.
They're the only ones willing to take a chance on a guy who flaked out on an $85 million contract.
Barry Bonds is at your introductory news conference to give you the key to the city of San Francisco. Then you make waves by saying that, instead of hitting your home runs into McCovey Cove, you hope to hit your moonshots into the Atlantic Ocean. This causes many to question your sanity, and your lack of general geographical knowledge.
You're playing left field for the hated Giants in the Dodgers' home opener and you go insane, hitting a pair of bombs off of CC Sabathia. But as you're rounding the bases a second time, Dodger fans throw bottles at you, Giant fans throw bottles at Dodger fans, and a brawl breaks out in the stands, spilling onto the field.
Jeff Kent throws haymakers at opponents and teammates, and even Vin Scully is throwing down with Duane Kuiper. All the while, you stand and watch the whole sordid event with a single tear in your eye, knowing that you caused this carnage.
THE END.
(Not sure how you got here? Start Choose Your Own Adventure: Manny Being Choosey in Free Agency from the beginning.)
