FanHouse EmmittSmith

There are so many great things about being a Party Pass holder at the shiny new Cowboys Stadium, as this video illustrates. For instance: for 30 bucks you can't actually see the Cowboys, which, frankly, is a bargain. It also means that you can wallow in misery with hundreds of other party passers who share your fate. (Because, really, there's nothing sadder than having to endure your plight alone.)

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I've often thought that Emmitt Smith was miscast as an ESPN analyst. He's the NFL's all-time leader rusher, is a Hall of Famer, and has three Super Bowl rings. He has to know something about football even if he can't articulate it.

Which is why I thought ESPN should have never (ever ever ever) put Smith on live television. Let him tape his segments, run them during Countdown, or halftime of Monday Night Football, or whenever, and we're all spared the slow-motion train wreck that had become an Emmitt live spot.

Of course, a lot of people enjoy slow-motion train wrecks. You might be one of those people. If you also happen to love pork, well, you're in for a treat: below Emmitt reports from the shiny, new Jerry Dome parking lot to talk up tailgating, the other white meat, and the Cowboys' chances in 2009. Predictably, unintentional comedy ensued.

A year ago, the Cowboys used their two first-round picks on running back Felix Jones and cornerback Mike Jenkins. Neither contributed much as a rookie; Jenkins played in 14 games (starting three) and had 19 tackles, but the one he didn't make sticks out most in my mind (of course it does).

Jones, who was something of a surprise pick with Rashard Mendenhall still available, played in just six games before landing on injured reserve with a big toe and hamstring injury.

In February, ESPN mercifully pulled the plug on Emmitt Smith's television career. I think they did it as much for him as for us. Either way, thanks, World Wide Leader. But the NFL rushing leader still has opinions, and when asked, he'll happily share them. Especially if it involves the Cowboys, a team Smith helped win three Super Bowls in the 1990s.

At a Tuesday news conference in Arlington, Texas, Smith talked about the direction of the 2009 club -- one that managed to miss the playoffs last season, and, the year before, lost in the divisional round after a 13-3 record -- and he didn't sound impressed. A lot of that, it seems, has to do with Jerry Jones' decision to cut Terrell Owens.

Who moved to the head of the NFL class during the draft? Find out with FanHouse's team-by-team 2009 Draft Grades.

Jerry Jones might be a little eccentric, but the guy can spot talent. When it isn't top picks like Troy Aikman or Emmitt Smith coming to the Cowboys, it is undrafted guys like Tony Romo or late third-round guys like Jason Witten. Even Patrick Crayton in the seventh round was a success for Dallas.

This year, the Cowboys traded down, but didn't really snag anyone that is going to blow your hair back. Jason Williams of Western Illinois is a player that might see some time for Dallas this season. In college, Williams was a fumble-forcing machine, knocking loose six his senior seasons.

Everyone makes mistakes. But when those mistakes are magnified by intense scrutiny of the NFL draft, well, they become much more embarrassing than, say, my typical Friday morning, mustard-stain-on-khakis incident.

Which is why the NFL FanHouse braintrust got together to determine who is the biggest bust for each NFL team. They're not listed in terms of stupidity -- they're all stupid relative to a team's total draft performance. Meaning, of course, some teams "bust" is much different than another organization's; we did it this way to avoid just linking you to DetroitLions.com.

Instead, we're putting it in current draft order, sans trades, and allowing this list to serve as a reminder of each's team's ability to properly execute a fail. The "bust factor" was based primarily on three things: statistical production (or lack thereof), position in the draft and other available options during that year's draft.

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In previous lives, before Matt Millen spent eight years running the Lions' franchise into the ground, he was a Pro Bowl linebacker and four-time Super Bowl winner. And after his football career, Millen was part of the No. 2 broadcast team for the NFL on Fox, and was also the color commentator for Monday Night Football on West Wood One.

Up to the moment he accepted the Lions gig, he was considered a good player and a great analyst. Which is why it wasn't totally surprising that he got back into commentating after William Clay Ford finally got around to firing him. Unfortunately, a large segment of the NFL-viewing population couldn't separate Millen the analyst from Millen the bumbling front office type.

LaDainian Tomlinson has weathered the proverbial storm. For the first month of the offseason, the discussion was whether his employer, the San Diego Chargers, would trade or release him. And after the team franchised Darren Sproles, the speculation intensified.

Herm Edwards was unemployed for six days. The Chiefs canned him last Friday and today, ESPN hired him. His ability to coach to win the game has taken some hits in recent seasons (Kansas City mustered six wins the last two years), but he's as charismatic as ever. And lucky for us, ESPN has recently started to consider such qualities when hiring on-air talent.

Which explains why Edwards might be Emmitt Smith's replacement. Or so speculates PFT. I don't think anybody would argue that Smith didn't struggle with the whole "live television" thing, but here's a thought: why didn't somebody -- anybody -- at ESPN just have him doing taped segments?

Bucs wideout Antonio Bryant has a history of, shall we say, moodiness. It dates back to his college days at Pittsburgh, but perhaps the most notorious example is when, as a member of the Cowboys, he thought it would be great fun to throw his practice jersey in then-head coach Bill Parcells' face.

Predictably, he was traded (although, surprisingly, not immediately) to the Browns, before a stint with the 49ers, and then a little time away from the game. But he's had a resurgence in Tampa Bay (highlighted by some nifty sticky-handedness last Monday night.

Now Bryant has a suggestion for Emmitt Smith and Trent Dilfer: keep my name out of your mouth. (Maybe he and Terrell Owens can start a support group.) Both ESPN analysts made reference to all the personal baggage that follows Bryant with him from team to team, and it was enough, apparently, to set him off.