FanHouse EthierOr

Andre Ethier does not want to take a picture with you. According to the Internet, Andre believes that people would use the photos against him on the Internet. He goes on to blame the hard economic times for making people want to do this. How many baseball players have felt the sting of a fan photo getting out, where an overweight lady (or whatever) is seen standing next to them while they are on the field in their baseball uniform? Did you see how happy she was? I bet they're dating! I bet he was out with her at Dodger Stadium, canoodling instead of playing baseball!

As a person on the Internet, it is now my duty to talk about this. This morning's Dugout is after the jump.

Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

Manny Ramirez is in the news again for saying... well, I don't know. I haven't had a chance to make the news rounds yet, but I'm going to bet Manny spoke to reporters long enough to tell them that Jamie Hoffman or whoever has severe mental retardation and is therefore "not really a person," and how Manny should be starting in his place, suspension or no. Then two days later Manny apologizes, and we forgive him, because he is really, really good at baseball.

I find it a lot easier to forgive Manny Ramirez on the internet, where his sociological problems can be explained away as childlike innocence. Other things I enjoy doing on the Internet: making grown up millionaires talk like messed up babies, and posting today's Dugout, which is after the jump.

Hey, I just got online for the first time in a week. Were you aware that some things happened in baseball this week? Apparently, slugger Manny Ramirez was trying to get pregnant (or something), and now he's going to miss fifty games because of it! I should really check my Fantasy Team more often.

Daily Dugout updates begin again today. Sorry for any inconvenience. I'm also sorry for whatever inconveniences you run into reading tonight's Dugout, after the jump.

This seriously happens to me every year.

The season ends, and I get depressed. But the offseason still needs Dugouts, so I bust "A" and work hard to find stories and interesting situations for Dugouts throughout the offseason, when no baseball is occuring and everything is heresay and conjecture. Five months go by and we've done 2,000 Dugouts about (essentially) nothing. We keep saying, "Man, I can't wait until the season starts, and doing Dugouts will be easier!"

Then the season starts. Suddenly, it is three weeks later and we've been sitting on our butts loving baseball. We turn to our left, see our computer, go "OH CRAP THE DUGOUT" and spend the entire season making up for the first month we missed.

Oh, and I almost forgot: tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

Ed Price offers a much-appreciated breakdown of what took place during Sunday's Dodgers-Diamondbacks game. Pitcher Dan Haren caught a ball in the air, but Andre Ethier, who was on third base, managed to score despite never having tagged up. As it turns out, this occurrence is consistent with baseball's rule book, but it seems contrary to the nuances of the game, doesn't it? What is this, Calvinball?

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

The picture to the right deserves a Pulitzer nomination.

Today, The Dugout continues its month-long series of team previews by visiting the Dodgers' team chat room. Perhaps more importantly, we're resurrecting the personality of everyone's favorite Fauknerian man-child Dugout character. Wait, maybe he's the second favorite. Wait, how many Faulknerian man-children does The Dugout have? I'm guessing at least a hundred, but Manny's up there.

Fresh Prince fans, your Dugout is after the jump.

It's been a roller coaster ride this season for the Los Angeles Dodgers, and their real-life equivalents in the Dugout Chatroom have felt it. They were accused of being yokels from the past, they acquired and perverted one of the most popular players in the game, and they discussed at length Andre Ethier's "tINCFoUTaCU".

Tonight is the last Dugout of the Dodgers' 2008 campaign. It's like those episodes of Buffy that didn't really involve a monster and were just there to move along the season-long arc. Not dorky enough for you? It's like the Cowboy Bebop episodes without Vicious.

I guess it was dorky enough before. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.