FanHouse F1

Need a quick tour of the racing world? Strap in today and come back later this week as FH takes a lap around Formula One, NASCAR and the NHRA. IndyCar fans, you'll have to wait until 2009 truly gets moving.

In two races so far in 2009, one team has won, a dominant team has struggled, the defending champion faces a possible season-long suspension and the results of the first two races might be completely tossed out in the near future.

No, it's not the constant source of American race fan complaints -- NASCAR -- but instead, those issues are today's everyday life of the 2009 Formula One season.

Racing series around the world are feeling a growing hole in their wallets thanks to this ol' economy, but that's no matter for a group out of Charlotte, N.C., that's looking to join up with pricey Formula 1.

The upstart -- their taking "USF1" as their working team name -- is aiming to have an American operation field two American drivers in F1 in the near future, and Tuesday, they discussed some drivers -- including a pair of NASCAR names -- they might interested in.

Some of those wheelmen (and a wheel lady, mind you) seem like logical targets, but the others? Well, not so much.

Add Forbes magazine to the list of those who don't count NASCAR drivers as athletes. Or celebrities.

On Friday, the business magazine released The World's Most Powerful Celebrities, its annual list of the world's most powerful--and best-paid--celebrities.

While former Formula One champion Michael Schumacher and his successor Kimi Raikkonen made the list, there's not a single NASCAR driver on the list. Granted, they have higher incomes, but ...

To generate the list, Forbes "analyzes celebrity earnings, plus media metrics like Google hits, press mentions as compiled by Lexis/Nexis, TV/radio mentions from Factiva and the number of times an A-lister appears on the cover of 32 major consumer magazines."

I find it extremely difficult to believe that Dale Earnhardt Jr. was not among the celebrities topping the media metrics.

He made one of the biggest announcements in the sport's history this year and was reported in more mainstream news outlets than probably any NASCAR story since his father's death in 2001. There has been no shortage of media coverage.

There was also the little matter of him announcing that he had this girl he was seeing back in January, which I can personally attest led to thousands of searches for "dale earnahrdt jr. girlfriend" that led inquirers to the Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s Girlfriend category on Answer this...

Not to mention Junior's estimated $20M annual income, which dwarfs several celeb on the list, including IRL driver Danica Patrick, whose annual income Forbes reports as $4M. Is it even comprehensible that she's on the list and Junior is not?

And the Food Network's "queen of southern cuisine and home-cooking" is on the list at #99. Cooking with Paua Deen. Hmmmph. How about Hallucinating with Forbes? I want some of what they're on.

What up, Forbes?

Elsewhere in The Fanhouse
Tiger Woods: I'm Number 2

Formula One driver Robert Kubica has been released from the hospital after what the attending doctor, Dr. Ronald Denis, the head of the trauma unit at Sacre-Coeur Hospital in Montreal, witnessed what he thought was a fatal head-on collision with the wall during the Canadian Gran Prix:

"I was at the tower and to be honest with you, when I saw the accident I thought we were going to arrive there and he would be dead."

Pretty unbelievable that he only suffered a minor concussion and sprained ankle. What a wild wreck.

When Ferrari told Rubens Barichello to dump the 2002 Austrian Gran Prix to allow teammate Michael Schumacher to take the win, the Formula One team was fined $1 million.

Is McLaren Motorsports next?

The team is being investigated by the governing body for possible rule breach of the International Sporting Code, which states it will "never be enforced so as to prevent or impede a competition or the participation of a competitor, save where the FIA concludes that this is necessary for the safe, fair or orderly conduct of motor sport.''

Monaco Gran Prix winner Fernando Alonso's McLaren teammate Lewis Hamilton told the press after Sunday's race that he was told to "take it easy."

"He was obviously close to me, and I was told to take it easy. At the end of the day, I am a rookie. I am in my first season in Formula One and I have finished second in only my first Monaco Grand Prix, so I really can't complain. I've got No. 2 on my car. I am the No. 2 driver."

Can't complain? You just said your team gave you an "order" to let your teammate win. Is there a better time to complain? Or ... maybe you just should have IGNORED it, fool. Wouldn't you rather be the rookie who won his first Monaco Gran Prix than the one who gave it away?

Apparently, this is standard practice in Formula One.

What about NASCAR? Is this addressed in its illustrious rulebook? Is it even needed? I can't even ... Can you even imagine Rick Hendrick or Richard Childress or Jack Roush pulling this kind of crap? Or Joe Gibbs? Or any driver putting up with it? What about Penske or Ganassi--in NASCAR or IRL? I can't even ... Why is this tolerated in F1?

Since there wasn't a Cup race this weekend and there wasn't any good Busch footage on YouTube, I went hunting for some Juan Pablo Montoya highlights, specifically Newman / Raines from Martinsville. We'll have to get to those another time, 'cause in my search I came across another little gem.

No idea when/where this video is from, but it is fantastic!

Montoya is strolling along at an F1 event with his wife, Connie Freidel, and isn't completely aware of his surroundings when he gets plowed in the head by a cameraman. JPM goes off in the guy's face, "You broke my head," and proceeds to show off his mastery of American profanity and insults.

The Misses doesn't miss a beat stepping in between her hot-tempered husband and the apologetic cameraman. Then she also goes mom on him in an attempt to shut his potty-mouth.

Check your volume before playing - NSFW.
Idiota de mierda.

So somewhere in between the waking up, the egg hunts, possible early spring yardwork, a Sunday dinner, and church -- if that's your thing -- you're gonna be wondering what to do without 500 miles of NASCAR action tomorrow.

Well, screw the lawn mower and forget about cleaning the bathroom. Here's some ways to get the racing fix on the boob tube today. All times Eastern, because I'm too lazy and ignorant to find out the rest. They just confuse me.

7:30am - Back in the Day, SPEED Channel
- Total apologies if you're up this early, but hey, it's retro NASCAR and a decent show, despite its VH1 "Pop-up Video" styling.

11:00am - AMA Supercross, SPEED Channel
- If you get your kicks on two wheels, then a three-hour marathon should suffice you. Races from Orlando, Indianapolis, and Irving are covered.

12:00pm - NHRA Lucas Oil Sportsman Series, ESPN
- It's not the Nitro guys, but who's picky on a day like today? And it's in HD.