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Raise your hand if you didn't see this coming. I'm not seeing many hands raised. Ed Werder, resident Cowboy's expert at ESPN, has a rather incredible article on Thursday talking about a potential conflict that is on the verge of consuming us all. I hope you're ready for it. I'm already going to the store to stock up on bread and toilet paper.

Apparently, Terrell Owens, always with a sunny disposition and rosy outlook on life, is growing jealous of the relationship and friendship that is shared by Dallas quarterback Tony Romo, and tight end Jason Witten.

Seriously.

I have to assume this is true, simply because it's so crazy that you couldn't possibly make it up. Plus, it sounds like vintage Owens behavior. Linebacker Bradie James is quoted in Werder's piece as saying he "plays peacemaker" between Owens and Romo, while a second, unnamed player takes it a couple of steps further, comparing this situation to the apocalyptic -- in a football sense -- situations that Owens created in San Francisco and Philadelphia. And we all know how that ended.

Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming. So, yesterday, I talked about how Raiders coach Tom Cable, presumably unhappy with his team not scoring any points, decided to take away offensive coordinator Greg Knapp's ability to call plays.

Well, as it turns out, the story was only half-right. It's true Knapp is no longer able to call plays, which is probably a good thing based on recent results, but it wasn't Cable who stripped him of the ability.

It was Al Davis! From Nancy Gay of the San Francisco Chronicle:

"Knapp just happened to be the next in line to be a scapegoat," said one source, speaking on the condition of anonymity but eager to clarify who stripped the play-calling duties from the offensive coordinator. Under Davis' orders, Knapp had been calling plays since shortly before head coach Lane Kiffin was dismissed Sept. 30.

Oh, Al. Everything else remains the same, of course, deck chairs and what not. And I feel the need to point it out again, but, Jim Harbaugh ... stay away! Far away!

When your team has scored 16 points in its previous three games, I suppose you have to do something different to light a fire under your players. And that's exactly what Oakland head coach Tom Cable has done, as he's stripped offensive coordinator Greg Knapp of his play calling duties. Well, that's certainly something, but how much it will help remains to be seen.

I believe this is where you can insert some comment about rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

From Steve Corkran of the Oakland Tribune (via MDS at PFT):

Knapp was stripped of his play-calling responsibility last week and told that he won't be used in that capacity for the rest of the season, a person in the front office said Monday. Raiders coach Tom Cable presumably is in charge of the play-calling. However, he made no mention of the switch at any point last week, after Sunday's game against the Carolina Panthers or in his weekly news conference Monday.

This offseason, there were concerns among some in the media that JaMarcus Russell had to go XXXL on his Cosby sweaters; no one had seen him for long stretches and naturally, it followed that Russell must've swollen to the size of a small mansion.

As it turned out, Russell hadn't gained any weight, was working out on his own, and preparing for the Raiders staring quarterback gig. And now, two days into training camp, we have confirmation.

When he showed up at Thursday's camp christening, you'll be happy to know he more resembled a full-functioning franchise savior than a 300-pound whale. Then again, "I kind of felt like I was 1,000 pounds out there," said Russell, attributing the extra weight to his long-lost shoulder pads.

Actually, Russell is 269 pounds. He baited a reporter into thinking he indeed hit the rumored 300-pound mark this offseason, then claimed he topped off at 276.

I suspect there's no better diet suppressor than the specter of getting knocked silly 10-15 times a game thanks to a pass-blocking optional offensive line. In any event, Russell looks the part of competent starting NFL quarterback, which is a welcome change in Oakland.

Helping in Russell's development is offensive coordinator Greg Knapp, entering his second season with the club. And not only is he making Russell better, he's helping the support staff be all they can be. Or something.