FanHouse GuitarHero

There are some questions that mankind has been searching to answer for ages. How were the pyramids built? Why was Mike Milbury never fired? And of course, there is the one that dwarfs all the others, which member of the Calgary Flames is the best at the video game Guitar Hero?

Today, we are a little bit closer to finding out the answer to that question, as Dion Phaneuf takes on Mark Smith in the accompanying video. The Flames have been airing a segment dedicated to a Guitar Hero tournament between Phaneuf, Smith and their teammates Eric Nystrom, Eric Godard and Wayne Primeau during games that are televised on Pay-Per-View.



These days, when it comes to knowing anything and everything about athletes, we are slowly inching closer to the point where we'll know them better than our own family members. It scares me and to a lesser extent bores the crud out of me. Society has gone off the deep end, but I'm still waiting for the day a network spawns that follows Paris Hilton's every move 24/7 until I throw in the towel. Or maybe that's what E! is for.

Joel Zumaya wanted to save some of the things from his parents' home before the California wildfires closed in and burned everything to the ground. In doing so, a "heavy box" fell on him, hurt his shoulder, and now he's sidelined until the middle of 2008. His entire career is in jeopardy.

How does a heavy box fall onto your shoulder in the attic? How tall are the ceilings in that attic, and how high are you stacking the boxes? Joel Zumaya is 6'3, so for a heavy box to fall from such a height as to create the velocity necessary to injure a professional athlete's shoulder, you're looking at at least a seven foot stack. Are Joel Zumaya's parents lumberjacks? Was he lying on the attic floor?

They should trade him to the Cubs and let him get shot in the chest by an old copy of Donkey Kong.

Well I guess we now know why the Tigers said Joel Zumaya had suffered a possible dislocation of the middle finger of his throwing hand on Sunday. It's because he didn't dislocate anything, he just ruptured a tendon.

Tigers reliever Joel Zumaya will undergo surgery to repair a ruptured tendon in his right middle finger, forcing him out of action for 12 weeks.

The news came from the club following a visit with hand specialist Dr. Charles Melone on Monday in New York. Dr. Melone will perform the procedure on Thursday. The projected timetable would put Zumaya on track to return around late July.

This is very bad news for the Tigers because now their bullpen goes from a strength to an uncertainty. Fernando Rodney will have take on a larger role as Todd Jones' setup man, and Jose Mesa will fill in for Zumaya.

Ten years ago Mesa for Zumaya would be about an even trade, but these days, I'm not so sure. Mesa himself is just coming off of the disabled list with a pulled groin.

As for what to do with Zumaya when he comes back, D-Town Baseball wonders if Joel should move into the starting rotation.

Upon Zumaya's return, is relief the correct role for him? I've heard a few saying that this injury could be due to his throwing so hard in such a role and that moving him to a starter role would force him to push the breaks a bit on the speed.

I'm not sure I'd agree with that because forcing Zumaya to reduce his velocity takes away from his strength. It's like asking Magglio Ordonez Samson to cut his hair. Not to mention he walks too many batters to be an effective starter.

It appears that Joel Zumaya is maturing. Last season he had to miss time due to injuries caused by playing too much Guitar Hero. This season he's going on the disabled list due to an injury he suffered actually playing baseball. And not on his X Box either.

While warming up to come into Saturday's Tigers win, Zumaya felt something pop in the middle finger of his right hand. The team is calling it a possible dislocation of the finger. If you're like me, you're wondering how it could be a possible dislocation. It either is, or it isn't.

If the Tigers want to play that game, why don't they just come out and say Zumaya suffered a possible gunshot wound? It's possible that Joel Zumaya is dead.

The only definite thing surrounding this injury right now is that Zumaya is on the 15-day disabled list, so whatever the hell his injury could possibly be, it will keep him from any game action over the next two weeks.

So what does this mean for the Tigers?

Billfer calls this "playing the platoon advantages"; I call it "chances for everyone to get tired arms and aaahhhh the sky is falling aaahhhhhh". Consider it an instructive look at why it pays to read multiple blogs for multiple outlooks.

So not only does this upset the natural order of the bullpen (a most delicate ecosystem!), it also probably means more work, and potential overwork, for everyone left. Whee.

Yes, I know I could have just said that myself instead of using another blog, but I wanted to make sure you all saw the great picture and headline that Samara came up with over at Roar of the Tigers.

Previously at the Fanhouse:
Joel Zumaya Was Thrashing Last Night
Joel Zumaya Loves Being On Television
Stop Asking Jim Leyland About Joel Zumaya

Thanks to a Judge's "wise" decision, I'm no longer allowed to follow Joel Zumaya around wherever he goes. What are you gonna do, right?

I can't know for sure, but I'm guessing Joel returned to his Chicago hotel room late Wednesday night, busted out the Guitar Hero, and just rocked out for a few hours. He then probably took his fake guitar and smashed it into a billion little pieces.

Poor Joel had a bad night on Wednesday. Sure, the Tigers beat the White Sox 6-2 on a cold rainy night at US Cellular, but Zumaya did everything he could to blow it.

After relieving starter Chad Durbin in the 9th with a 6-0 lead, Zumaya allowed Tadahito Iguchi to reach base with a single. No matter, he then induced Paul Konerko to ground into a double play. That's when things went to hell.

Zumaya then plunked A.J. Pierzynski. After that, he walked Joe Crede. Then he walked Andy Gonzalez. After Gonzalez, he walked Pablo Ozuna to bring Pierzynski home. Not wanting to rock the boat, Zumaya then walked Juan Uribe to bring Joe Crede home.

In what was supposed to be nothing more than an easy inning of work for Joel, he ended up throwing 32 pitches, 21 of which were Balls. Todd Jones had to come in and get Brian Anderson to ground out with the bases loaded for his 8th save.

As Zumaya left the field he got into a screaming match with home plate umpire Mark Wegner. I'm not a lip-reader, but I'm pretty sure Wegner responded to Zumaya's criticisms with a resounding "Throw a damn strike then."

It was the only real excitement in what was an otherwise boring game.


Previously at the Fanhouse:
Joel Zumaya Loves Being On Television