FanHouse JaMarcusRussell

The best NFL news on Wednesday was that Brian Westbrook will not play this week. He may be your starting running back in your fantasy league, but the Philadelphia Eagles' all-time leader from scrimmage with 9,711 yards also is a man who is recuperating from two concussions in 20 days.

Right now, Westbrook is not just an NFL star. He is a medical patient.

Thankfully, everyone realizes it's time to focus on Westbrook's health and future well-being, and not how he can help move the chains for the Eagles' offense.

You really do have to feel kind of bad for Browns fans. Here's a group of people that were among the most loyal fans in football (and, truthfully, they still are) only to have their team ripped away from them in 1995 and taken to Baltimore where they won a Super Bowl five years later.

After patiently waiting for three years, Cleveland was given its team back in 1999, and this is what they were rewarded with: absolute chaos. And losing. A lot of losing.

On Sunday, the Browns were obliterated on their home turf, 31-3, by the Green Bay Packers and the fans in attendance decided to take that opportunity to amuse themselves in unique and hilarious ways.

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. -- It's easy to believe Tom Cable when he says he's not worried about the possible criminal assault charges that could be coming his way. Honestly, even if he gets arrested, how bad could it be compared to coaching the Raiders?

Unless he's going to be sentenced to watch an endless loop of his team's 44-7 loss to the Giants (or worse, one single replay of Sunday's Bills-Browns game), Cable has to be thinking about heading up to Napa County first thing Monday morning and turning himself in. Because as embarrassing as the Raiders can be off the field in the middle of the week, they show up on Sundays and take humiliation to new, ever-darker levels.

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What follows is a fabricated* letter from JaMarcus Russell to Al Davis. Clay Travis, armed with a hacksaw and a flip cam, altered a peephole to obtain its contents.

Dear Al,

You told me to call you Al when you drafted me back in 2007. You said I could call you Al because you used to be a black panther. I think you said, "I feel you, baby." Then you felt my shoulder. Now I'm offering you a shoulder to lean your head on. I want you to sleep well at night, Al. I want you to do away with all your worries and climb aboard a train to Super Bowl Village. I want you to name me head coach of the Oakland Raiders. I'm ready, I'm prepared. I'm agog at the potential of the Oakland Raiders.

I can be your Pete Rose. Only without the gambling or the baseballs or the baseball bats. Really though, baseballs are just like footballs, only smaller and whiter. Also, not ovals. I'm a lot like Pete Rose too, only fatter, blacker and not prone to hustle. To be honest, I don't even like to run at all. I prefer to stand still and watch men break on me. I'm like Hemingway's Frederic Henry if Hemingway was not capable of subject-verb agreement. Quarterback-coach, it has a nice ring to it, right?

I've decided to itemize the reasons I should be coach. By the end of this letter you'll see that our philosophies, our offensive goals, my proven track record of success, the fact that you are already paying me a lot of money, myriads of reasons militate my hire.

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Cornerback Chris Johnson might be the only Raider capable of getting into the end zone. (Yes, the wrong end zone. And, yes, he was flagged on the play ... semantics.) And to say that fans are disappointed with the current haplessness is an understatement along the lines of suggesting that JaMarcus Russell is sorta chubby.

But I come bearing good news.

Each week, FanHouse takes a deeper look at the obvious -- and not so obvious -- options for your NFL suicide pool. Standard rules apply: pick one team to win straight up (no point spreads), and each team may only be used once.

If you were alive in your pool heading into Week 3, then it's pretty much a given that you're alive as we get ready for Week 4. With no major surprises, and with the obvious pick in the Ravens cruising to an easy blowout victory, even the most inexperienced of players couldn't help but advance.

While there might not be one team that sticks out as the clear-cut, obvious choice this week, a few games should provide the opportunity to make it safely to Week 5. Let's take a look.

JaMarcus Russell might be the worst quarterback to ever put on an NFL uniform, and the Raiders have been reduced to sideshow-circus status. But through it all -- the debilitating losses, the lack of leadership, the fantastic relationship with the media -- Russell, the first overall pick in the 2007 draft, wants you to know that he still believes in ... something.

Are you ready for some football? A Monday Night Partaaay? The NFL Monday Night Football season kicks off in grand style with a double-feature, which means double the fantasy impact. Tonight's matchups feature a lot of exciting fantasy angles, so we thought it fitting to provide a quick MNF preview to give you the key storylines.

- Arguably one of the biggest question marks of the 2009 fantasy season rests on the chest of longtime juggernaut, LaDainian Tomlinson. San Diego signed backup Darren Sproles to a mega-contract and Tomlinson posted just slightly less than fantastic numbers in 2008, so his value ground lowered this draft season. Monday night, LdT will prove to all those Forte, Slaton and Turner owners that you should never second-guess a legend.

When the Oakland Raiders brought in veteran quarterback Jeff Garcia this past offseason, many believed he would break camp as the starter for the silver and black. With Garcia battling a calf injury throughout camp, though, JaMarcus Russell ended up facing little competition. Not surprisingly, he has been officially named the Raiders' starting quarterback for the start of the 2009 season.

Russell, the No. 1 overall pick in the 2007 NFL draft has been maligned in the general public for a relatively slow start to his career. He held out to begin his career and had a pretty mediocre second season in 2008 -- completing 53.8 percent of his passes for 2,423 yards, 13 touchdowns, and eight interceptions, compiling a 77.1 quarterback rating.

As the Oakland Raiders try to move forward from Punch-Gate and put together their first winning season since Jerry Rice was their leading receiver, they have already received some more bad news. Chaz Schilens, who was definitely shaping up as their best receiver, has suffered a relatively serious injury.

According to FanHouse's Nancy Gay (via e-mail), who is in Raiders camp today, Schilens has a fractured 5th metatarsal bone in his left foot. He currently has a boot on it. There is no word yet on if he'll require surgery.