FanHouse JackTaschner

Jon, NIck, and I once had a discussion about who the scariest man imaginable would be. What we came up with is that he'd be really tall, he'd be really fast, and I think we decided he'd have sharp teeth. And he'd always be trying to get you. Something tells me that when Randy Johnson is walking the streets alone, he picks up a dangerous velocity. One you have to measure with a radar gun. Eesh.

Despite his Brettfavrian tendency to say he's done, the Big Euphemism has agreed to play another year for the Giants, and it couldn't be more appropriate.

Enjoy this tale of the scariest man imaginable. This afternoon's Dugout is after the jump.

With the trade deadline right around the corner, our MLB editor brings you the top five rumors every day until July 31.

- The elephant in the room four days from the trade deadline is Manny Ramirez, who once again is on shaky ground in Boston. In a perfect world, the Red Sox would love to rid themselves of the near-constant headache that Ramirez provides. In practice, they are still very much in the hunt for their third World Series in five years and would need to replace his production in step with any deal. That makes the completion of any trade unlikely in the next few days.

Joel Sherman and Mike Puma of the New York Post run down the potential list of suitors for Ramirez, and because of Boston's desire to ship him out of the American League, it is a very short one. The Dodgers, Diamondbacks, Mets and Phillies are the teams with both the need and the financial wherewithal to pick up the tab for Ramirez's $20 million deal. Because the left fielder has 10-5 rights (10 years in the league, five with the same team) he can veto any deal the Red Sox put together. That leads Sherman and Puma to conclude that Ramirez would only accept a deal to Philadelphia, where he would be reunited with manager Charlie Manuel, who was his hitting coach in Cleveland.

- And what of the Rays? The Yankees have gotten stronger already, and could add Jarrod Washburn or another pitcher at any moment. The Red Sox are embroiled in the latest Manny drama, but are more likely to improve from within. Tampa Bay has been pretty quiet, but they are out there looking for upgrades in the form of a right-handed outfield bat and bullpen depth. With Xavier Nady and Casey Blake off the market, the team may look internally for a right-handed bat, with the rehabbing Rocco Baldelli a possibility. That leaves the club looking to trade for a left-handed reliever with Brian Fuentes at the top of the Rays' list, with Arthur Rhodes, Jack Taschner, Will Ohman and Ron Mahay as backup options.

Here's a look around the NL West and what final roster moves your team made to prepare for Opening Day:

Diamondbacks: Infielder Brian Barden and utility man Robby Hammock made the squad. Hammock showed promise in '03 and '04, but missed all of '05 because of shoulder surgery. Right handers Dustin Nippert and J.D. Durbin won the final spots in the bullpen. (via East Valley Tribune)

Dodgers: Matt Kemp made the club as the final outfielder, beating out Larry Bigbie and James Loney (who hit .414 in Spring and didn't take the news well), presumably because Kemp's a right-handed hitter while Bigbie and Loney are lefties. Wilson Valdez will replace Rafael Furcal on the opening day roster. Furcal will start the season on the DL retroactive to March 23rd. Rudy Seanez is the final pitcher on the 11 man staff. (via LA Times)

Giants: They're going with a 12 man pitching staff, the seven men in the bullpen will be Armando Benitez, Vinnie Chulk, Kevin Correia, Brad Hennessey, Steve Kline, Jonathan Sanchez, and Jack Taschner. Scott Munter and candidate for the closer job, Brian Wilson, were optioned to Triple A amongst others. Todd Linden made the team as a bench player, Mark Sweeney was placed on the DL to start the year, and Jason Ellison was traded to the Mariners. (via Giants official site and Contra Costa Times)

Padres: Mike Thompson and Kevin Cameron made the final two spots in the bullpen. Cameron is a Rule 5 draft pick from Minnesota. Paul McAnulty will be the final bench player. (via San Diego Union-Tribune)

Rockies: Veteran John Mabry (pictured) beat out Ryan Spilborghs and Alexis Gomez for the final bench spot. Mabry is a left-handed pinch hitter who can fill holes as a corner outfielder and corner infield. Jeff Baker and Steve Finley are the other bench players in the outfield. Manny Corpas and Ramon Ramirez were awarded the final spots in the bullpen as well. (via Denver Post and Rockies.com)

Despite all the trade rumors flying around regarding Giants closer Armando Benitez, Andrew Baggarly was still able to work this nugget into his article Tuesday. Here's the story as relayed by reliever Jack Taschner:

[In] 2005, when the club had nine September call-ups. Benitez invited all of them to lunch on a day off, then took them to a Men's Wearhouse in San Francisco to outfit them with travel clothes. He bought them two suits apiece.
...
"He must've dropped $20,000 and didn't bat an eye," Taschner said. "No one talks about how generous he is with young guys. If someone is looking at a magazine and says they like a pair of shoes, the next day the shoes are in his locker. He's always doing things like that."

Come on Armando, you couldn't step it up and go Hugo Boss or Versace? If he'd a tried to give me a Men's Wearhouse suit I would've thrown that thing right back in his face -- cheapskate. I wonder where he took him to lunch -- BK or Jack's? Wait, maybe he stepped it up and took 'em to Subway.

Just kidding Armando -- that's a heck of a gesture and it shows what a kind, generous, and thoughtful person you are. As I said before, the Giants need to keep you around if they want to compete this year.