FanHouse Jake Christensen

He's a sneaky one, that Kirk Ferentz. He seems almost Mister Rogersish with his low-key demeanor and his dry sense of humor. You'd have a much easier time believing he was the chair of the English department at some small liberal arts college, not a coach in a BCS conference.

Let it be said, however, that the man is now responsible for not one but two of the cockiest decisions I've ever seen a head coach make. The first happened four years ago, when he took an intentional safety against Penn State, effectively telling Joe Paterno "You're not going to get the ball in field goal range." Ferentz put the Hawkeyes' fate on the backs of his defense, and they responded. They picked off Michael Robinson on the very first play.

The second happened in today's Iowa-Indiana game. It's hardly a secret that Ferentz has been on every hot-seat list from coast to coast and in all four corners of the Internet. Iowa fans in the know, however, have been aiming the poison arrows at Ken O'Keefe, Ferentz's offensive coordinator and long-time friend. (O'Keefe gave Ferentz his first job in coaching, at a Connecticut prep school.) Ferentz has heard his critics, and today he answered them.

I'll have a lot more to say about this weekend's Iowa-Iowa State game Thursday morning in Pickin' On the Big Ten, but you, faithful college football fan, need to be aware of a rare occurrence involving that game, as both the Hawkeyes and Cyclones find themselves in possession of the unfortunately not-so-rare Two-Headed Quarterbeast. Iowa's goes by the names of Ricky Stanzi and Jake Christensen, while Iowa State's is known as Austen Arnaud and Phillip Bates.

Now, normally, when a coach has to unleash the Two-Headed Quarterbeast, it's a sign that neither quarterback can be trusted to handle an entire game himself. That may or may not be the case here. For the Hawkeyes, though Kirk Ferentz insisted Christensen was his guy after the Maine game, this will be the second week Stanzi gets the start. Both quarterbacks have played well against complete nobodies this season, though Stanzi has shown more poise, while Christensen is still a threat to wound any ducks in the vicinity of Kinnick Stadium. Stanzi hasn't faced a real pass rush or a decent secondary yet, however, so don't be surprised if Christensen sees more than just spot duty this weekend.

And for the Clones? That's another story. In Ames, it's definitely not the case that one quarterback seems to be better than the other. They're both pretty darn solid. Arnaud is a greater deep threat, but Bates is slippery, fast, and confident. Just like the Hawkeyes, however, the Cyclones really haven't played anybody yet, so the early returns on their quarterbacks may not be accurate either.

Look, I know nobody outside the state of Iowa gives a rat's bonkus about this game unless they're from there, but how often do you get to see a two-quarterback system that seems to work well for both teams? Answer: not very.

They aren't the dregs but nor are they real threats to win the league. They could lose to Iowa State or a MAC team and I will watch their crappy December bowl games pulling for them to win just so everyone can finally shut up about how much the Big Ten suxxxx; I will usually be disappointed about the outcomes of these games. Ladies and gentlemen: the mediocre of the Big Ten. A veritable cornucopia of the average. A smörgåsbord of the typical. A vast array of another noun used to denote something sort of good and sort of bad.

THRILL to the sartorial stylings of Illinois linebackers

BOGGLE at just how Joe Tiller hasn't yanked his starting quarterback over and over the past few years

WONDER what is up with Iowa, anyway? Shouldn't they be better?

All of this... and more! After the jump.