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Kings center Brad Miller has been suspended for five games next season for violations of the league's anti-drug policy. Translated into reality-speak: Kings redneck Brad Miller has been suspended five games because he can't say 'no' to Mary Jane.

The five-game suspension is a well-known, poorly-hid mask for "third marijuana violation" in NBA fan circles. That NBA players smoke weed is no secret. Some, like Josh Howard, are able to do so without getting pinched by a league urine test. Others, like David Harrison and Miller, don't learn their lesson and pay the price with public humiliation and a loss of five paychecks.

As a Kings fan, my personal anger over this is mostly limited to the fact this seems to happen to the Kings every year. Last season, Ron Artest was suspended for the first seven games of the season because of a domestic violence arrest. The season prior, the freaking coach, Eric Musselman, got pinched for a DUI during preseason. Feel free to add some Mo Taylor, Keon Clark, Chris Webber, and Vlade Divac's knock-off purses for good measure. Good grief, it's Sacramento! Calm down, NBA players!

In other NBA police blotter news, nominal Bull JamesOn Curry got hit with a one-game suspension for urinating on the streets of Beautiful Boise, Idaho. Pee in a cup, pee on pavement: you just can't win these days.

Rookie hazing is a fact of life in the NBA, and it takes many forms. Some veterans make the rookies pay for a lavish dinner on the road, while others, like Gilbert Arenas, go so far as to steal a rookie's car and paint it pink. So considering the alternatives, making a rookie get a certain brand of donuts before practice doesn't seem like that big of a deal. As it happens, though, that's when Ben Gordon crossed the line. From the Chicago Sun-Times:

Speaking of Gordon, he paid penance Wednesday for taking a sponsor's name in vain. Seems the Bulls' marketing department was none too pleased that Gordon went public with his complaint that Joakim Noah brought the team doughnuts from Dunkin' Donuts each day, instead of from Krispy Kreme, as part of Noah's rookie initiation.

Dunkin' Donuts is a Bulls sponsor -- which is why Gordon found himself serving up pastries and coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts near the Berto Center after practice.

Call it karma, if you will, but I'm not sure that's accurate: if anything, Gordon has all the more reason to step up his hazing game, which can only mean bad things for Chicago rookies Noah, Aaron Gray and JamesOn Curry.

The Bulls kicked off their Fan Appreciation Scrimmage at the United Center with a little karaoke competition, pitting three rookies against each other while singing (what else?) Sweet Home Chicago. Thanks to Only the Bulls, we can see that Aaron Gray and JamesOn Curry held their own, but (surprise, surprise) no one got into it as much as Joakim Noah, who somehow managed to exude hustle and energy even while singing a song.
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According to ESPN.com's Andy Katz, Oklahoma State guard JamesOn Curry will remain in the NBA draft. This, despite not being a first round guarantee and a completely denied rumor that the Chicago Bulls guaranteed him in the second round with the 49th pick.

Curry was not even selected to participate in the Orlando pre-draft camp. A telling bit of what the NBA scouts thought of his potential. He was selected as an alternate, but either declined to participate or the need for more alternates never reached down to his ranking.

The NBA draft advisory committee told him he wasn't likely to be drafted and advised him to return to Oklahoma State for his senior year. The only advice that it appears Curry is willing to follow from the NBA is not hiring an agent. This means that in the likely event he goes undrafted, he can still return to Oklahoma State if he chooses.

Curry was the Cowboys second leading scorer and assists leader with 17.3 and 3.7 respectively. Oklahoma State has a good recruiting class coming in, but they need Curry. Depth was an issue last year as the team only went about 7 deep. The players had to rack up huge minutes and struggled badly in the second half after a great start.