FanHouse Jim Kelly

I don't have any empirical evidence, but anecdotally it seems that once you hit, say, 70 years old, telling the truth becomes almost instinctual. That sounds like a virtue -- and it usually is -- but it also means that much of what is filtered in our younger years isn't in old age. And, for the most part, I think that makes for a better world.

Take Bills owner Ralph Wilson, for example. He's 90, recently inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and frank as hell about why he decided to go after Terrell Owens.

"I said, 'Sign him,' " Wilson told the Associated Press, recalling his conversation with Bills general manager Russ Brandon. "In Buffalo, we haven't had a national figure publicity-wise since (Jim) Kelly.... So I thought, 'If this guy's a bad guy, so what? If he's a bad guy we'll have to get rid of him. But if he's a good guy, hey, we're ahead of the game.' "

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Everyone makes mistakes. But when those mistakes are magnified by intense scrutiny of the NFL draft, well, they become much more embarrassing than, say, my typical Friday morning, mustard-stain-on-khakis incident.

Which is why the NFL FanHouse braintrust got together to determine who is the biggest bust for each NFL team. They're not listed in terms of stupidity -- they're all stupid relative to a team's total draft performance. Meaning, of course, some teams "bust" is much different than another organization's; we did it this way to avoid just linking you to DetroitLions.com.

Instead, we're putting it in current draft order, sans trades, and allowing this list to serve as a reminder of each's team's ability to properly execute a fail. The "bust factor" was based primarily on three things: statistical production (or lack thereof), position in the draft and other available options during that year's draft.

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The Buffalo Bills are in a pretty sticky situation -- they've always been owned by Ralph Wilson and, well, he's very old. Additionally, the NFL is slowly (and not very subtly) moving the team to Toronto.

So there's some good news on that front for Buffalonians (go with it -- it just sounds right) in that supposedly, Jim Kelly is interested in purchasing the team.

With the family of the only owner in Bills history already making it known that they won't keep the team after Ralph Wilson (now 90 years old) passes on, Peter King of NBC reports that Buffalo Hall of Famer quarterback Jim Kelly is trying to put a group together that would buy the team.

It's unclear whether Kelly's group would purchase the franchise in the short term, or whether the deal would wait until Mr. Wilson is playing pinochle with former U.S. President Woodrow Wilson.

The downside here is that obviously, Kelly would have to get this puppy locked up before Wilson died, otherwise it's first come, first serve + most money for figuring out who will get the team.

And that's mildly problematic in that right now, I'm willing to bet that people aren't gung ho about coughing up their hard earned cash to try and buy a football team. Also problematic: Wilson doesn't really have any interest in selling, if you believe what he says.

Still, it's an admirable effort at least, and I for one wish Kelly the best of luck in procuring the Bills. Although, I also will almost certainly wholeheartedly welcome our new Canadian overlords whenever they show up.

I have a simple rule in team sports, and I think most anyone that likes having their best chance of winning would agree, and that is you don't go on the field without your best group of players. You just don't.

That is why bringing up the outrageous point that the American Ryder Cup team is better off without Tiger Woods is downright farcical. AP columnist Doug Ferguson argued this exact point, saying he thinks the U.S. team might be better off with Woods on the bench. You know, because the best golfer to ever play the game has a bad record. These are the times I'm sad Fire Joe Morgan doesn't write about golf.

"No one will miss Tiger Woods at the Ryder Cup more than the Europeans," Ferguson says.

Yes, the Americans will have to make do without a guy who has won 75 times around the world, 14 majors, and who has been No. 1 in the world ranking for 513 weeks. But they might be better off without him.

For all his greatness when the trophy is awarded to only one player, Woods has compiled a meager 10-13-2 record in his five Ryder Cup appearances. He went 3-2 at the last Ryder Cup, his first winning record. Plus, nothing motivates European players more than beating Woods in the Ryder Cup, which they have done 12 times in 20 team matches."

I'm a fairly sensible guy, so while 98 percent of this introduction bothers me, I would agree that yes, beating Tiger probably pumps the team up. So that is the justification for leaving him off your list? No offense to the 2003 British Open winner, but I'm fairly certain you'd take Tiger over Ben Curtis in your Ryder Cup fantasy draft.

Hall of Fame quarterback Jim Kelly has heard enough about the Buffalo Bills possibly moving to Toronto. It's been the million billion dollar discussion all year, and now he's decided to what he can to put an end to it.

"As long as I'm involved, I can't see them going anywhere else," he said with the same cockiness that made him a Pro Football Hall of Famer.

"One way or another, I will make sure this team stays here. I know people that are ready to step up. I think Mr. Wilson has the same vision I have, and that's to keep the team in western New York."

Will the decision ultimately be up to Kelly? Absolutely not, but he sure as hell has a powerful voice in Western New York. And if he's saying he wants the team to stay in Buffalo, you can bet that someone out there is listening.

However, there are a lot of people that suddenly want the Bills in Canada, and it will be a long winded battle should they hit the open market. Hopefully, for the fans sake, Kelly and company come prepared when everything hits the fan.

The Ice Sheet will take a look at the biggest stories in the league that happened on the ice and elsewhere the night before.

Call the roller of big cigars,
The muscular one, and bid him whip
In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.
Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in last month's newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

Take from the dresser of deal,
Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet
On which she embroidered fantails once
And spread it so as to cover her face.
If her horny feet protrude, they come
To show how cold she is, and dumb.
Let the lamp affix its beam.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.
-- Wallace Stevens

With apologies to the great Wallace Stevens and one of my very favorite poems in the English Language (not like I know any other, languages that is, not poems) I guess Marc Crawford allowed himself to become consumed with his own sense of self-importance to be the fatuous and disconnected Imperial presence that refused to accept responsibility for the violence he unleashed when he made it a point to demand that Steve Moore pay for his perceived crime. Thankfully they didn't have to spread a sweaty towel over his face that night.

In the NHL, I guess he's the Emperor of Hair Jelly.

There's a new SportsCenter commercial that shows kicker Adam Vinatieri, who's won three Super Bowl rings with the Patriots and one with the Colts, trying to get through the metal detector at the ESPN offices and failing because of his rings:

The spot would be OK if it were just Vinatieri trying to get through security, but what makes it brilliant is the man standing behind him in line: Jim Kelly.

Kelly, of course, is the Buffalo Bills quarterback who played in -- and lost -- four Super Bowls. The exasperated look on Kelly's face is basically the same as the look on the face of all travelers when the guy in front of them gets stuck at the metal detector, but Kelly has another reason to be annoyed.

Kudos to Kelly (who's wearing his Pro Football Hall of Fame induction blazer) for being willing to appear in the ad and poke a little fun at himself.

Previously on FanHouse:
The Hilarious David Ortiz SportsCenter Commercial
David Wright Keeps Secrets From the Demon Deacon
Dan Patrick's Best SportsCenter Commercial
Tony Romo/Scott Van Pelt SportsCenter Commercial
Shaq Saves Mike, Remembers His Roots

If you've ever seen those old NFL Films segments where a group of old-school officials are sitting around a table and shooting the bull about the way things used to be, you've no doubt stumbled across this clip. In the staid environs of NFL officiating, this is a breath of fresh air. I suspect the current Director of Officiating, Mike Pereira, wouldn't be all that jazzed about letting refs free-style it, but it could go a long way in making up for all the dopey anti-celebration rules implemented over the past few seasons.

It's also worth noting that the referee IDed the wrong defender -- it was No. 93 beating the crap out of Jim Kelly, not No. 99. And then there's this, from one of the YouTube commenters:

I don't know what's better, this quote or Ed Hochuli's quote [from the Week 2] NE-SD game, when he said "There is no foul for holding on the play, the defender was simply...overpowered."

Overpowered. That would describe Norv Turner's coaching style, I think.

It seems like everyone and their grandmother has an opinion on the Michael Vick controversy these days. The latest person to add his two cents to the pot was former Buffalo Bills quarterback and NFL Hall of Famer Jim Kelly.

During a recent interview with the Democrat and Chronicle, Kelly told them flat out that he believes Vick is lying.

"The way I look at it, he's lying," Kelly said. "If he is saying he had no idea, that doesn't cut it."

"I have a (second) house in Richmond, Va., and I know what goes on in my house even though I'm not there. I'd have to call (Vick's defense) B.S."

I've got to agree with Kelly; that's what I've been saying since day one. How could someone possibly own a house and never have any idea what's going on there? It just doesn't seem realistic and it's a horrible defense.

For Vick's sake, his high priced lawyers better come up with something a little better than that.