FanHouse JimmyGobble

As longtime readers of The Dugout are aware, the Royals are one of our pet franchises. We tend to ignore teams like the Astros, mostly because we're too busy writing story arcs about an obscure Royals utility infielder possessing superhuman abilities, or the Royals' owner assuming the role of a contemporary Satan, or the Royals' manager living out of a grocery cart.

Kyle Farnsworth's acquisition certainly does not help with this. Neither does Sidney Ponson's. By the way, I'd like to point out that in the Dugout universe, the Royals captured acquired Ponson months before it happened in real life. Another example of life imitating Dugout. Sidney Ponson is horrible. Today's Dugout is after the jump.

The Kansas City Royals have gotten off to a decent start this season, going 9-10 in their first 19 games, but any success they've had on the young season should be solely credited to their pitching staff. It's guys like Brian Bannister and Zack Greinke who have been solid as starters, and Joakim Soria, Jimmy Gobble, and Leo Nunez who've yet to give up a run working out of the pen (a combined 18.1 innings between them) that's responsible for any wins the team has gotten.

It damn sure hasn't been the offense, which has managed to score a Major League worst 63 runs (they're actually tied with the Giants) this season, and hasn't managed to score more than 6 runs in a single game. So obviously, the Royals could use some help on offense, and there are a few options out there. So why not go after Frank Thomas?

Sure, Frank has some pretty enticing offers from other teams at the moment, but the Royals could be a nice fit for him as well. Since he's still going to be getting paid by the Blue Jays this season, he'd probably be willing to accept a deal in line with the $500,000 the Athletics paid him in 2006. Which would work well within the Royals limited budget. I'm not sure the same could be said if the Royals tried to go after Barry Bonds, not to mention the headache that accompanies Barry where ever he goes.

The only drawback I could see to the Royals signing Thomas would be the fact that Billy Butler would have to move to first base, but even though Billy Boy isn't exactly a defensive standout, he couldn't do that much damage at first. This would also allow Ross Gload to return to more of the utility role he's better suited for.

If I were Dayton Moore, I'd probably be giving the Big Hurt a call in the next few days.

It's well known that baseball is full of weird injuries (it seems like a post starts like this at least once a month). Never before, in my recollection, has a player actually been injured by the namesake of his league. I mean, I suppose a collision in an AL game resulting in an injury means that the player may have been hurt by an American, but Jimmy Gobble takes this to a new level. While playing in the Cactus League, he stepped on and was injured by an actual cactus.

"It took Nick [Swartz, the Royals trainer,] about five minutes to get it," Gobble said. "He didn't have to cut anything. There was a gap where it had started to push up and lift my toenail."

It was a cactus needle. Too thin for earlier detection, but wedged in deep, and it had started to work its way out as the nail grew - just as the doctor predicted.

"It was probably an inch or a little over that," Gobble said. "As soon as it came out, I could tell the difference."

I suppose the next step is for Ryan Howard to be squirted in eye by a grapefruit, cartoon-style, Sometimes I honestly think that baseball players just wander around trying to one-up each other with the goofiest ways they can think of to get injured.

Via BBTF