FanHouse JoepaChronicles

Hey, remember a few weeks ago, when Penn State had that strange situation where a metric buttload of police showed up to an apartment where players lived without really saying why? And then we found out it was because they smelled marijuana? Remember that?

Well, it's three weeks later, and you're never going to guess this, but the police have decided to charge the players with possession of marijuana. Three. Weeks. Later:

Charges have been filed against Nittany Lions Abe Koroma and Maurice Evans in connection with a Sept. 2 marijuana seizure at a Nittany Apartments residence, according to court documents filed today.

Koroma and Evans have been charged with possession of a small amount of marijuana, an ungraded misdemeanor, according to the criminal complaint.

There's only one reasonable scenario in which police take a small amount of marijuana from an apartment, then wait three weeks before filing charges. Well, check that, two:

As part of our College Football preview series, we've been lucky enough to peek into the world of the JoePa Chronicles, where Fake Joe Paterno regales us and those around him with tales of football history, international intrigue, and that one weird story where he probably confused Ki-Jana Carter with Jimmy Carter. Fake JoePa also has lots to say about the upcoming season, and today he talks about the Big Ten.

AND THAT IS HOW LASSIE ACQUIRED THE CANINE AIDS
Just for saving a little red-headed boy? That hardly seems
NOT JUST ANY REDHEAD, A KNOWN IRISH
Whatever. Can I go home now? It's like 8 and all you've done since lunch is watch TV.
THIS IS FILM STUDIES, WE HAD A VERY INCONSISTENT YEAR LAST YEAR
No, it's not. It's the first season of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. And I think you know that because you've been singing along to the theme song even when it's not playing.
GO GO NOW A DANGER
I'm leaving.
GO GO COWS IN MANGERS

JUNIOR, COME DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT

No!

YOUR MEAL WILL GET COLD, AND THAT WILL MAKE YOU EVEN MORE UNPLEASANT THAN USUAL. WHY ARE YOU STILL UPSTAIRS

I'm on the internet. I have important business to take care of.

YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE KEEPING US WAITING SO YOU MAY WETHUMP YOUR OWN HAND. I HAVE BEEN ON THE INTERNET AND I DO NOT LIKE IT

THERE WAS ONE WEBSITE WITH TWO GIRLS THAT APPEARED TO HAVE THE WORST OF GASTROINTESTINAL PROBLEMS

GOD BLESS THEM, THOUGH, THEY SEEMED TO BE WORKING THROUGH THEIR TROUBLES TOGETHER